05: Knowledge.

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»and i said, i'll take in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead.«

2000

"What is it?" Alice had that same blank look on her face. It's been happening more often than usual. Once she finally snapped out of it, she shook her head and threw me a weak smile. "You know you can't lie to me." I mumbled under my breath. Her aura was fluctuating from pink to yellow. I decided yellow meant concerned or worried.

"I hate that you're just like Jasper now." Alice pouted. I turned around and turned the faucet in the kitchen on. I just didn't need to have her see me smile at that comment. "Now I can't get away with certain things. Can't hide things from you or Edward either..." It seemed to turn a shade of blue. "You know we all love you right?" She looked at me with a solemn expression. "No matter... what you decide. Whenever you decide it."

"Look at you being cryptic all over again." I teased.

"I'm serious Sage." She held my hand into hers and squeezed it. "You're our newest addition and we'll always be here for you." I looked at her with a puzzled expression and wondered what I possibly would be doing in the future for her to say this to me. She kissed me on the cheek before skipping off. Jasper appeared in her place. He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged his shoulders. We both dismissed it. Jasper nodded his head towards the back door. He wanted to talk, I could tell. I nodded before I headed out first. We ended up back on the mountain Emmett and I had spoken on earlier. It was crazy to think I've already been with them for a couple months. This was probably one of the longest I've stayed in one place. Even with my homes around the States, I only stayed there for two or three weeks tops. I loved being nomadic and going from one place to another. There were still several places around the world I wanted to travel. That was one perk to this life. I had a bit more time to explore the world.

Jasper and I haven't spoken about what happened in my bedroom. That had been six days ago. We still continued to talk but breezed over the topic. Lately though, he seems to have gotten more comfortable and has been around me more. His hands have brushed up against mine or my arm. He'd sit next to me more. He's even come into my room more than he did before. We had gotten close in intimate ways now.

I took a seat on a boulder as he leaned up against it. I smiled at the back of his head. He made me feel happy inside. Not the way being part of the family did, but something else. There was something about his presence that soothed me into this absolute bliss. He knew how I felt around him every time. I noticed his aura turned into a soft pink. He felt as happy as I was and it was comforting to know his feelings were mutual.

"You know it's nearly impossible to lie about how we feel about each other." Jasper spoke softly and quietly. It was just above a whisper. It took him a moment to look at me with his golden eyes. The corners of his mouth twitched up to a smile. "And I've taken a notice to how you seem to be feeling the way I do right about now."

"It's every time I'm with you." I rolled my eyes to humor him. He knew it was true, there was no denying it. "Is that embarrassing?" He shook his head and took my hand in his. I felt a jolt of electricity throughout my body. This is the first time he was holding me. "What does this mean for us?" I asked him quizzically. I was unaware of why I felt this way towards him. I've met other vampires. I've taken a notice to how they were attracted to me and I've tried to be interested in them. But they never sparked my complete interest. Not the in the way Jasper had. Our feelings were mutual and we both silently knew without having to tell each other. So what did that mean? Were we going to act upon it or leave it be? Jasper shrugged his shoulders before he jumped beside me. His hand never left mine.

"It's whatever you want it to be." Jasper was inches away from my face. I had to look away from his beauty and down to his hands. They glittered against the sun. "I do know though, that I want nothing else but to be with you all the time." Jasper admitted to me. My fingers traced the scars that were on his wrist then up to his arm. He had many little crescents scattered across his skin. I noticed his they were also on the other arm. I looked at him with a concerned look on his face. "Battle scars." He drawled. "Do you want to know." He took my hands in his again. I nodded like a child about to be told a fairytale. But from what Jasper told me, it was far from it. He was the youngest major whose never even seen a battle. He won people over with his charisma. Then, he spoke about Maria and how he had turned him for her own selfish use. That for the longest time, he thought what they had was love but she had just been using him the entire time. He trained the newborns that they made to win territories; she never lost a battle. Maria never let them live throughout their first year. I imagined what it would've been like for him to have to go through all that. For him to feel every bit of emotion they had. All the emotions from his victims whether they were newborns or people.

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