InkeQuizzles and Chocolate Cake

Overly Dramatic and Ridiculous Fight Scene

This was something I wrote to practice writing fight scenes. I wanted to start out writing something utterly ridiculous and dramatic that fitted the mood of nonsense, just to see where I could go from there. And here it is. 

The battle was about to begin. Sqwerby against Grongzar. One was a highly acclaimed soldier in the war of the muffins, and the other had trained for years in the field of cake weaponry. The two had been in an argument on whether or not the great naked pretzels would be free, Sqwerby debating that notebooks had no significance in touch-typing, and Grongzar stating that words could not defend pancakes. They had angered themselves so much that they went in the middle of the streets with their shields and their swords (that they stole from the muffins and cakes) and screamed, "THE FIGHT IS ON!! SQWERBY AGAINST GRONGZAR!! WHO WILL WIN??!!" Their neighbors heard them, alright, and they showed support for those who argued about the Naked Pretzels: a whopping - TWO PEOPLE - gathered around the sidewalk and yelled at the contestants. The audience was loud and angry - ready to see which weirdo would win.

Sqwerby and Gronzar began to circle each other, snorting and glaring with rage, and slight confusion on why they were fighting, but then remembering that the other had stolen their bacon earlier (and got revenge by stealing their bacon) and then getting angry again.

Sqwerby wooped and lashed out at Grongzar, flailing his sword around him and trying to hit the other in the shoulder. Grongzar staggered back in surprise, then thumped him over the head with his shield. Sqwerby collapsed on his face, but stuck his leg up just as he landed, tripping his opponent.

Both of them gave up at that point, but their spectators wanted more. As Sqwerby and Grongzar both lie in the middle of the street, they began screaming at them to get up. One of the men drank an entire 2 liters of coffee and grew insane from the amount of caffeine. He lashed out on both Sqwerby and Gronzar, attacking with his metal thermos with such fury that both of the enemies screamed in agony, holding each other while they were being pummeled by the insanity of caffeine. Then the other spectator laughed maniacally and held out a stick with rancid broiled broccoli at the end, and all three warriors shrieked and ran away. They sprinted through the neighborhood streets while the Rancid Broccoli Man chased them close behind, giggling and trying to poke them with his stick. Then Sqwerby and Grongzar and the Caffeinated Coffee Man all tripped and stumbled down a hill, which lead them deep into a forest.

Sqwerby bursted right up and ran over to his former opponent, holding the bacon he stole from him earlier. "Gronzar, I am sorry we got in this fight, I only did this because I love you!" he cried out, throwing himself upon Gronzar and hugging him tight.

"WHY WOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT I HATED ORANGES? WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

Gronzar screamed and hugged him back.

"OF COURSE I WILL MARRY YOU, DEAR CAKE WEAPON GOD!'

Then Sqwerby hit him on the head with a giant colander, knocking him unconscious.

"I win! I win!" he started chanting, before the Crazy Caffeinated man thumped him on the head with his thermos. Then the Rancid Broccoli Man ran over and started poking him with his rotten food stick.