InkeQuizzles and Chocolate Cake

The Mysterious Pink Glitter-Squirrel (aka The Nut Job Prophecy)

So, as I have previously mentioned before, I have really bad ADHD. You might already notice, because of the complete randomness of these Inkequizzles, but if you're a really close friend or family member you have to deal with it even more. I talk to myself a lot, I wander away in the middle of conversations, sometimes I stop in the middle of sentences, and people think I'm nuts because I giggle for no reason sometimes (AND WITHOUT SHAME, TOO. COME ON, EVERY BODY DOES IT!)

And my family (my mom and my brother in particular) gives me a lot of crap for my bad ADHD. So this is sort of dedicated to them, even though they might not read this. SCREW YOU GUYS.

So (this is a true story, by the way. Well, it's going to start out with a true story.) one day, my mom, brother and I were waiting in line for the Twister ll at Elitches. We were all very bored, and the line was sort of long, and I guess my mom and brother were having a conversation while I was staring off into space. When all of the sudden, my brother goes:

"Meena, look! It's a pink glitter-squirrel!" 

And I turn around, and I said: "Wait what?... where?" (I mean, it's not the stupidest thing to believe him; it could've been on a necklace someone was wearing, or on a girl's t-shirt, or whatever.) 

I looked around for like two minutes, and I concluded to myself that there was indeed no glitter-squirrel. But my brother kept trying to convince me otherwise. 

"I can't believe you didn't see it, Meena. It was right behind you! It was in that tree right there!"

"Shut up, there was no squirrel!" I said.

"Did you really not see it, Meena?" my mom was playing along, now. I was so frustrated, I was starting to think that the entire world was against me. 

"There's no such thing as a pink glitter-squirrel!" I shouted at them. 

Well, at that point we were at the front of the line, and we rode the rollercoaster. But afterwards, they just wouldn't drop the damn pink glitter-squirrel. They saw it everywhere, and they kept teasing me about it. 

Why, if I have ADHD, would I have an obsession with pink glitter-squirrels? I mean... squirrels are amazing. But I hate the color pink to the ends of the earth and glitter is overrated (YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT MOM I SAID IT, IF YOU HAPPEN TO READ THIS) (she loves glitter, she's like the Edward Cullen of mothers) 

It's the other people that are driving me paranoid, that's why. That trip to Elitches was three months ago, and they still won't let me forget! Why won't the pink glitter-squirrel leave me alone? 

I'll tell you why! Pink glitter-squirrels are nothing but PURE EVIL. AND THEY WILL NOT STOP UNTIL THE WORLD IS IN RUINS AND CORRUPTION. 

BEWARE THE PINK GLITTER-SQUIRREL, FELLOW PEOPLE AFFLICTED WITH ADHD. THEY MAY BE PRETTY TO LOOK AT (if you ever get to see them) BUT THEY SIT ON THE THRONE OF LIES

(That was an Elf reference, by the way. The fake Santa Claus has a lot to be ashamed of as well.)

BUT NOT AS MUCH AS THE PINK GLITTER SQUIRREL!! FIRST, THEY WILL DRINK ALL THE COFFEE. AND THEN THEY'LL GO AFTER ENERGY DRINKS. NOT ONLY DEPRIVING HUMANS OF CAFFEINE, BUT MAKING THEMSELVES GO MAD BY DRINKING IT THEMSELVES.

CAFFEINE.

AND. 

SQUIRRELS.

 Spells certain doom, doesn't it?

And woe to the normal people, that spread lies about the mysterious pink glitter squirrel. For if you summon the dark lord, would He not eat you first? SAME WITH THE GLITTER SQUIRRELS. 

VOTE FOR PEDRO

(That was a Napolean Dynamite reference.)

But my family never listens. And, because of them, the truth about the terrible pink glitter squirrels will haunt me for life.