It Started With Socks.......

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Socks have a very weird odor. Unlike anything else. It might be like fresh cotton, but it might also smell like sweat, peanuts, chicken soup or rotten eggs. Of course, it depends on how much you do your laundry. Or how big your feet are. Like my brother, who has feet big enough to rival that of a Hobbit. One whiff of his socks and you'd be wishing you had dropped dead. The odor of his socks tend to linger in your nose, long after you take a sniff.

I wonder what happens to those socks that get mysteriously lost in the laundry.... It always happens. No matter how many pairs of socks you have, you're bound to lose half of them. So what happens to all these lost socks? Is there a mysterious black hole in all our dryers that only open up when the socks are tumbling? Are they stolen by rebellious underpants gnomes that were banned from stealing underwear because they tended to give the people wedgies instead?

Or maybe, they don't disappear at all... they become invisible, and then.... oh, wait, then that would still mean the same thing because they literally disappear.... oh well. Anyway, maybe they become invisible, and they start roaming around town and then they go over to ice cream restaurants and they order all the mint chocolate chip ice cream, and then people get angry because all the ice cream disappeared but who would know that invisible smelly socks ordered it all? And why would socks be eaten by ice cream? Wait, the other way around. No, what if your ice cream eats all your socks? First they'd have to get out of the freezer... which is probably why every morning I find that my ice cream is missing.... but that might just be a guy sneaking into my house every night eating my ice cream.... Not that there's anything wrong with that.

What would you do if you found a guy sneaking around your house at night, just to do something little like eat all your ice cream or rub acne lotion all over your face? I'd personally make them rub ice cream on their face and make them eat the acne lotion. But if they had a magic lamp, then conditions would change. For one thing, a guy sneaking into people's houses at night probably wouldn't deserve a magic lamp. Also, why would they sneak into other people's houses, anyway? They could wish for anything they want, so they wouldn't have to steal from people...... but they only get three wishes. But if you used every wish, why would you keep the lamp? I'd trade it in for a lifetime suppy of bacon. You can make anything better with bacon. Unless you're a vegetarian. What is the vegetable equivilent of bacon, do you suppose? I really like squash.... no. Peppers. Definitely peppers. People in my family really like spicy food. They can't eat anything without ghost pepper on it... and they take the seasonings to every restaruant they go to. Sometimes it makes them sweat. A lot. And that's probably why their socks stink so much.


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