THE WORST SUPER VILLAIN GAME

46 3 1
                                    

I have a new(ish) game to release upon the world!! (At the time of writing I'm listening to the orchestral version of Hungarian Rhapsody AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO TRIUMPHANT AND EEEVILLL) 

The origins of this game date back to around 2012, when I was in Europe on an educational tour with my French teacher. During this tour, there were a lot of long, tedious airplane and train rides, tiring walks throughout massive cities, and to pass the time while doing these, I came up with a game about horrible supervillain names. One of the best things in the entire world is IRONY, and that's what I admire about this particular game. 

Think about it: to make a terrifying, fear-inducing supervillain, he/she should have these things: 

1. CONSIDERABLE POWER. If your villain doesn't have power, how can he inspire terror amongst his great enemies? How is he to take over the world?

2. AN ORIGINAL, CREATIVE AND DASTARDLY TITLE THAT PROCLAIMS HIS EVIL TO THE WORLD. Why should people be afraid of your villain? Is this being portrayed effectively throughout his character and his name?

3. A HAUNTING BACKSTORY. This is sort of optional, but I think it helps. To give an almighty supervillain depth, it helps to make him have quite a disturbing past. This helps even more if you'd like people to sympathize with him/her more. 

4. DESIRES OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. This is your supervillain's motivation, which is most important. If he doesn't want bad things to happen, then why should we even be afraid of him? 

And now, in order to play this game, you must come up with a villain THAT HAS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THESE THINGS. 

The improvements of this game were mostly inspired by the supervillains from The Tick (which is the best 90's cartoon about a super hero ever)(SPOOOOOONNN), because they had some of the lamest, weird, and therefore, SOME OF THE MOST HILARIOUS SUPERVILLAINS EVER. 

Here are some quotes from the notorious ones: 

"AND SO HE SAYS TO ME, do you wanna be a bad guyyy?  AND I SAY YEAH BABY, I WANNA BE BAD, AND THEN I SAYS SURF'S UP SPACE PONIES, I'M MAKING GRAVY WITHOUT THE LUUUMMPS!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!'" - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight

"I'm no stranger to loneliness... I grew up lonely. No brothers, no sisters, no playmates, no pets. The only friends I had... were furniture. I played with furniture, I talked to furniture, I listen to furniture. I thought I was furniture. Until I was thirteen, I was a coffee table!" - The Ottoman Empress

"Nothing lasts forever. Nothing is worth fighting for. Yes, we have no bananas." - The Heys

Tick: *whilst wrestling a random guy named Taft dressed in a banana costume * : ALL YOU EVER DO IS DRESS TAFT UP IN RIDICULOUS OUTFITS AND MAKE HIM WRESTLE ME!

Sanity (supposed to be his therapist): Well, that's our therapeutic morality. 

"FROM THIS MOMENT ON I WILL DEDICATE MY LIFE TO MAKING MY LEG AS HAPPY AS IT CAN BE!" - Pigleg, formerly known as the Deadly Bulb (his leg is a fricking pig, guys. A PIG. But this is why he's one of my favorite villains because the pig represents a major flaw that he hated and wanted to change about himself, but in the end he knew that his pig was just a part of him and therefore he taught himself to be happy with it. So even though the creators of this cartoon might've been on a lot of drugs when they made this, it still has a pretty good lesson)

Anyway, enough of that, let's get on with the steps of the game.

There are usually 2 to 3 people playing, and it starts like this.

1. Person One will come up with a horrible Supervillain name.

Example:  The Moldy Garbage Man Avenger!! 

2. Person Two will come up with a superpower for him.

Example: He possesses the power to summon garbage cans that prevent people from littering. (you should get extra points if your villain accidentally supports a good cause instead of an evil one. That just makes him more incompetent)

3. Person Three (or, if there's only two people, Person One can go again) will come up with a scheme for how the supervillain takes over the world, and if they succeed or not.

Example: Once the Moldy Garbage Man Avenger discovers his powers, he sets off into the world to inflict chaos!! HE SUMMONS A MASSIVE ARMY OF TRASH CANS TO DO HIS BIDDING, but since trash cans are just inanimate objects he obviously fails. So then he goes home and eats ice cream and binge watches Supernatural. 

That is the Worst Supervillain Game! Play with a friend when you're bored and your brain is just out of control. 

PS: You can get more extra points if: 

- You start by randomly drawing the characters (If you have a friend you draw stuff with, start with a blank shape of a head and then you and another person take turns drawing the random features of the guy so it ends up looking like a deranged lunatic monster) (I do this a lot, it's super fun)

Anyway, if you start with that, and then name him as a bad supervillain and come up with a power for them, get extra points.

- You come up with a really stupid backstory for your character. One time, a guy accidentally dropped a banana peel on the Garbage Man Avenger's head, AND IN SPITE OF THAT ONE GUY, HE WILL BRING DESTRUCTION TO ALL!! Like I said before, a back story is optional, but it does make things more interesting. 

- If you add extra irony to your character. Irony is the spice of nonsense. Anyway, I'll let you interpret that rule however you like. 

- Come up with more rules that can give you extra points.

IF YOU DO ANY OF THESE, YOU MAY REWARD YOURSELF WITH ANY SWEETS/JUNKFOOD OF YOUR CHOICE. 

HORRAY FOR BANANAS.


InkeQuizzles and Chocolate CakeWhere stories live. Discover now