lovely boy ; phan [ completed ]

s i e t e

dan howell wanted to tell phil lester about ethan so badly, but he was afraid. he didn't want phil to see him any differently. he didn't want to be dan, the weak one who let his ex abuse him. he wanted to be just dan. the didn't want his value to be determined by something that had happened in the past. he decided he wouldn't tell phil - not yet, anyway. he was sure phil suspected something, after his breakdown in the museum.

phil led him out to the car, resting a careful hand on the small of his back. he opened the door for dan to get in, and he obliged. phil got himself in the car and the two were silent for a moment, until phil asked, "i know this is one of the most hollow questions possibly know to the human race, but are you alright?" dan nodded, sniffling. "i'm alright now," he said. "do.. would you like to say anything? uhm, about anything that happened?" phil asked. when dan didn't respond right away, phil added quickly, "but of course you don't have to. it's just in case you want to talk, or something." dan smiled at phil's cute awkwardness. "not right now. maybe some other time," dan replied, and phil nodded.

"so.. where should we get dinner?"

/|\

the two boys had decided on chinese food. phil parked and they walked through the door into the dimly lit restaurant. a bell overhead chimed, and a waitress scurried over. "table for two?" she asked, an american accent apparent in her voice. "yes, please," phil said, and the waitress nodded. she grabbed two menus and sat the boys down at a booth. she smiled at phil (dan could've sworn it was flirtatiously), before saying, "i'm karen and i'll be taking your order tonight. can i get you started with some drinks?" dan quickly scanned the menu for soft drinks. "can i get an orange soda?" he asked. karen nodded and turned to phil. "i'll have the same," he said, and karen nodded again. "alright! i'll be back with your drinks in a minute or so," she said, heading towards what dan presumed was the kitchen.

dan couldn't help but let his mind travel to karen's anything but discreet attempt at flirting with phil. what did she think she was doing? she was supposed to be professional. you couldn't just flirt with every costumer you served. the more dan thought about it, the more he realized he was jealous. jealous? no, that couldn't be it. why would he be jealous? him and phil weren't really anything; not yet, anyway. they had just confessed their love for each other, but what if phil didn't mean it in the same way dan had? what if phil didn't want a relationship? dan realized how stupid it was to be jealous - phil was gay - but he couldn't help himself.

"dan? is everything alright?" phil asked, his crystal blue eyes filling with concern. he grabbed dan's hand under the table and rubbed circles on the side of his hand. dan smiled softly. "i'm more than alright now," he said, and phil grinned. he didn't release dan's hand, even when karen came back with their drinks. it was quite calming, if dan were to be completely honest. he loved the feeling of his hand being held. it was yet another reason phil shined in comparison to ethan (and in comparison to most other people); he was calming and sweet.

"do you two know what you'd like to order?" karen chirped. stuck in his own thoughts, dan had forgotten to look at the menu. "uhm.." he said. he picked a random dish. "chicken lo mein, with vegetable fried rice?" he muttered. it came out as a bit of a question, but karen nodded and scribbled down his order. "and you?" karen asked, turning to phil and batting her eyelashes. phil obviously wasn't picking up on the hints she was dropping. "make that a double order. we'll share," he responded, smiling politely to her. "alright!" she said, her voice still unhealthily-airy sounding. she walked away, tucking her pen in her ponytail.

"she seems chipper," dan grumbled. phil laughed. "what?" dan inquired, raising an eyebrow. "nothing. it's just, if i weren't mistaken, you seem jealous," phil said, a smirk rising on his lips. "what? me? jealous?" he sputtered. "n-no way. why would you think that?" phil chuckled again at dan's poor attempt to sound like he wasn't jealous. "that waitress is obviously flirting with me, and you don't seem very happy about it," he said smugly. "oh, no no no. i'm not jealous at all," dan tried another petty attempt at trying to convince phil, but he just continued to laugh good-heartedly at dan's flustered state. phil let go of dan's hand, much to dan's dismay, to grab his drink and take a sip. dan moved his hand onto the table, and was pleasantly surprised when phil grabbed hold of dan's hand on top of the table. "now she'll know i'm yours," he explained, and dan blushed. yours. he liked the sound of it.

karen came back and placed their food on the table. she glanced quickly at dan and phil's intertwined hands in an attempt to be secretive and asked, "would you two like anything else?" both boys shook their heads. dan had to hold back a laugh when he heard her mutter "why are the cute ones always gay?" as she walked away.

the food was amazing. for a hole-in-the-wall chinese restaurant, it was quite good. the table was silent, as the two were too busy eating to say much of anything. all dan could hear was the chatter of other guests, the clinking of dining ware, and the beating of his own heart. phil had continued to rub circles into dan's hand. it was calming. there wasn't a doubt in dan's mind about that, but phil made his heart beat at least eight times the normal rate.

with the silence, dan had time to scan the restaurant. people watching was one of dan's odd hobbies, but it was purely for artistic reasons. he like the inspiration of strangers. he liked the mystery. his eyes landed on a person sitting alone. they looked awfully familiar, but dan couldn't place where he had seen them before. it suddenly occurred to him who it was when they turned and locked eye contact with him. the person got up, and dan quickly took in a breath. "ph-phil," dan gulped. "what's up?" phil asked, oblivious to dan's nerves. he looked up and saw dan's fearful expression. "what's wrong?"

before dan could answer, a large hand clapped dan's back. "why, look who it is. daniel howell. i haven't seen you in ages! how've you been mate?" dan swallowed thickly and looked up, catching the evil glint in the man's eyes. it was gone in a flash, replaced by a kind smile and false-sugary sweet tone. "dan," phil said skeptically. "who's this?" the man laughed hollowly. "little danny here hasn't told you about me? well i'm surpris-" "this," dan cut in sharply, glaring up at the man. "is ethan."

< a/n >

word count ; 1184

this is already so cliche but that's okay i guess. i don't like this chapter rip. i'll have to deal. also!! i had a bit of writer's block, and i was participating in a fanfic contest, so please excuse my late update. thank you!!