I Know You, Lou // l.s.

30.

"Don't date Ed." Louis breathed.

That wasn't at all what Harry was expecting to hear. His smile slowly faded as he watched Louis nervously staring back at him.

"W-What?" Harry asked, a small frown beginning to form in between his eyebrows. "Why?"

"B-Because..." Louis gulped. He needed to say it. But it wasn't coming out. He hated himself for not being able to tell him, even though he was trying so hard. "Um..."

Why did it have to be so hard?

"He likes me, L-Lou." Harry stuttered. "Why s-shouldn't I?"

They had come to a bridge. Harry watched him for a moment more, before turning his gaze to stare over the water.

"He's not good for you." Louis whispered, scrunching his eyes shut as his hands turned to fists at his sides. Yes, he was finally getting somewhere. He felt himself start to shake a little, but he tried to suppress the fear.

He took another breath, mentally pumping himself up to continue. Only he couldn't.

"At l-least he's not afraid t-to be with me." Harry whispered as he turned away, walking to the railing of the small bridge as Louis' breathing began to quicken.

Harry rested his hands on it as he looked over the water, willing himself not to break down.

"I don't w-want to be tr-treated like I mean n-nothing to you, Lou- Lou- L-Louis." Harry confessed, barely able to get his words out through his stutter. This was what happened when he was overwhelmed. "Especially w-when you're s-s-so different w-when we're al-alone."

Louis stared at the back of his head for a moment, before stepping up next to him, and placing his hands beside Harry's on the railing.

"What do you mean, H?" Louis asked softly, eyebrows furrowing.

"You h-hold me." Harry whispered, closing his eyes then returning his gaze to the water. "You k-kiss my head and m-make me f-feel like...l-like..." He cut himself off, shaking his head. "B-B-But when we're an-anywhere other th-than our d-dorm rooms, it's l-like we bare-barely know each oth-other... Especially, b-because really, I know y-you better than any-anyone, Lou."

Louis didn't know what to say. He knew he had made mistakes with Harry, but he hadn't realized it had had quite that affect on him.

"I'm sorry, Curly." Louis breathed, resting his hand on Harry's shoulder, the pet name making Harry wince a little.

"And if Ed is w-willing to be w-with me, without be-being ashamed," Harry continued, standing up straighter as he turned to face the other boy. "T-Then tell me, why shou-shouldn't I t-take that chance?"

Louis didn't say anything, even though his brain was screaming. Me! Louis thought. Because of me! Pick me!

But his mouth couldn't form the words.

Harry let out a long breath as he turned around again to face the water, and Louis was mentally kicking himself.

"Do you still l-love me?" Harry asked in the tiniest voice, Louis barely heard him.

"Of course, H." Louis sighed, shoving his hands deep in his pocket, knowing exactly where he was going. "You're my best friend."

"Louis." Harry closed his eyes, pausing. "You kn-know what I m-mean."

Louis gulped and kept his eyes on the ground. Of course he loved him. He loved him before. He loved him now. He loved him still. He always would. Why couldn't he say it?