How to Save a Life (Niall Horan)

Chapter 23: This is It

Ellie’s POV

I let out a long breath as I stood in the middle of the empty room, looking around at everything that used to be so familiar to me but now just seemed barren and lifeless. Every movement I made echoed throughout the house and left me with a sickly feeling on the inside. I bit my lip trying to hold in the tears, but not sure if it was even possible. I mean I was saying goodbye to my home. To my family. To everything I was. I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to have to start over. But I had no choice. Everything was gone. And now I had to move on.

My breathing quivered as I ran a hand through my hair and tried to calm myself down. I didn’t want to start crying now, before the funeral even started. I had to at least get there and now freak out until everything had begun.

Arms winding their way around my waist made me jump slightly and twist around so I was looking over my shoulder. I caught sight of Niall’s hair before my eyes locked with his. He gave me a sad smile and pecked my temple. I leaned back into him more and sighed feeling myself go weak in his arms and defenses start to slip.

“Are you alright love?” he mumbled into my ear.

“How alright... can I get exactly? Because I’m not sure if I can define myself as alright right now.” I admitted, knowing there was no point in lying to him. He had become the master of knowing me inside and out and knowing exactly when I was telling the truth or not.

“You don’t have to be alright. This is a big change. All of it. But I’m right here if you need me.” He assured holding me tighter.

“Thanks Nialler. I know you are.” I said looking up at him again. He just gave a little grin and leaned down to kiss my neck.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked releasing me. I looked around again and gave a little nod.

“Y-Yeah. Going to have to say goodbye eventually right?” I said. He nodded sadly and I just straightened out the dress I wore and turned to make sure all of my stuff was by the door.

“Someone is going to come and pick this stuff up while we’re at the funeral, right?” I asked to make sure.

“Yup.” He assured me. I nodded again and looked around again. All of the furniture and everything else in the house had been cleared out, whether it was sold, I was taking it to London with me or just thrown out, it was gone and now the house was empty with a little ‘For Sale’ sign on the front lawn. It was something I had always feared growing up, having to sell the house and go to live somewhere else. I didn’t ever want to move out. But I had to. It was for the better.

I’m moving on.

“Is our ride here yet?” I asked him.

“Not yet. Should be here any minute.” Niall said. “You can walk around more though, love. I know this is hard.” He continued to soothe.

“I-I’m just going to go back upstairs for a little bit.” I said moving towards the stairs. He nodded.

“Would you like me to go with you?” He offered gently. I paused and thought about it for a second. And yeah, I wanted him with me. I always wanted him with me.

I turned and reached for his hand. “Please?” I said. He smiled and took my outreached limb and together we headed to the staircase, him following behind, letting me go where I wanted to.

The first place I went was my brother’s old room. It hadn’t been emptied up until the rest of the house was. Neither my father or I were really ready to fully accept that he was gone. And even when we did neither of us had the heart to go into the room and clean it out.