"Letters she never sent"

Lauren to Camila - End Of Year

This year had been one of the most challenging years of our lives and I couldn't have been happier to go on our break before our new album came out. Your duet was doing really really well, better than anyone had expected and it make me sad that I kind of wasn't there for you. You had made endless attempts to share your happiness with me, but I was being stubborn. I didn't want to know.

I knew bits of the song were about me, and it did make me realise that regardless of everything, we loved each other. Through all that you put me through, I still loved you. Whether it be as a girlfriend or a best friend, you were my Camz and I loved you with everything I had. I spent a day with you just before our break started. You really wanted to see me before Christmas to give me a gift and just talk it through. We spoke for hours. About everything under the sun, just like we used to back in the day.

We spoke about this whole situation and shared our perspectives of it all. I started off by telling you that I always had a fear that you would leave me for the music. I knew you wanted to go solo for a long time and I knew that I was getting in the way of that. I told you that I loved hard. I loved you so much and watching you slip away from me was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Management had mentioned that if I continued with Camren, the group would break up right in front of my eyes and it was. For a long time, I believed it was because of me until I realised that you were the problem the girls had, not me. The group was breaking up in front of us, but it wasn't to do with Camren, it was mainly to do with the duet. Normani and Ally made it clear they weren't happy and Dinah was the only one who was forced to be interested. On top of that all, we were becoming more and more distant with each other. It was difficult but I reminded you of something you had told me right at the beginning when things got serious:

"No matter what happens, we'll stick together. If there's ever a problem between us in our relationship, just like the sun – we will rise again. No matter what, we'll always be together okay? Do you promise me Lauren?"

"I promise Camz"

You told me your side of things, which was something you never really did. I was your first love, your first girlfriend and your first kiss, you told me. You worked so hard for this dream of yours that it was difficult to give it up. You were torn between me and the music. You chose the music with the intentions of writing a song about me, and once it was over you would come back to me. You promised me that if you knew the way things were going to work out between us, you would have never chosen the music. You feared you had lost me through it all, but one thing was certain Camila, you always had a home in me.

Our relationship wasn't like any other, and we both had intentions to keep that promise we made way back when we were in X-Factor. To stick together no matter what, to rise again if things got tough. To never let anything get in between us. What happened in the past was gone. It was over. The new year was about to begin and it would be a new start for everything. A new start for Fifth Harmony and a new start for you and I.

2015 taught us a lot of things, but it taught me that the things in life that are worth having are not easy to attain. Our relationship was difficult, it was stressful, it was toxic at times but it was so, so worth it. Every second spent with you reminded me of all the reasons why I had fallen in love with you in the first place. We loved each other, and if we were lucky enough to be given an opportunity to try again and start fresh, we would take it without hesitation.

I was glad that the year was over and I was looking forward to the new year. Things were going to be okay with us, things were going to work out. Life was meant to throw us off at times, but that's how we had gotten so far and grown so strong in our relationship.

"Lauren, we knew nothing in our relationship would be easy. We read that story of the sun and moon and that's exactly why we based the sun and moon as our symbol of Camren remember?" you had reminded me.

The sun and moon story, the story of our love. The story we would read each other in our bunks while we toured. The story we would remind each other of when things got tough. The sun and the moon, you and I.

The story that went a little like this...