Dave Strider X Reader (A Game of Pretend)

H elp

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad." Your sister smiled.

You narrowed your eyes at your sister. "Are you even human."

She shrugged.

"I don't remember any of my shots." She finally answered.
"Though, I'm sure they where painful."

It was later that night. Dirk kindly took you home afterwards and stuck around for a bit, but now he was gone.

You decided to leave your sister because it was late and she needed rest. You did too, to be honest.

You went back to your room to hop into bed, but found your phone was buzzing to life with multiple messages.

--

Dave: beCKKYYYY
Dave: YOU WO NT BELIEVE
Dave: WH AT J ESSICA SAYD ABOUT
Dave: GAVIN

You: Dave what.

Dave: LI KE
Dave: OH MY GAH
Dave: SHE WAS LIKE " I TOTS LOOOOVE GAVVY"
Dave: AND BRITNEY WAS LIKE "JESSICAAAAA NOOOOO HES A JOOOCK"
Dave: AND JESSICA WAS ALL LIKE
Dave: "BUT I LOVE HIM"

You: what does any of this mean
You; are you drunk again?

Dave: W OW
Dave: assum in
Dave: asiming*
Dave: asumifuck*
Dave: shit
Dave: yes
Dave: drunk off my ass
Dave: but leik
Dave: lick*
Dave: you just gotta let life flow
Dave: and sometimes eat the lemons
Dave: roar

You: go to bed son

Dave: I M NOT UR SON
Dave: I M UR CAT
Dave: PILL E R
Dave: KING
Dave: Dirk askrd me if I new how to use a condim
Dave: typos*
Dave: and I was like
Dave: YAH BUT DO U
Dave: GET IT CUZ
Dave: HE GOT LINDA PREG

You; this is all kind of strange
You: but shit tru tho.
You: Linda?

Dave: yah

You: so how much did you down this time?

Dave: I downed prob
Dave: some

You; XD how much is some?

Dave: SoME
Dave: I M EAN
Dave: AM I SUPPOSED TO BUST OUT THE MEZURINT CUP
Dave: "how much adult sip soop have I had?"
Dave: THE MESUR CUP DOESNT JUST SAY HOW MUCH
Dave: I DIDN EVEN MEZUR
Dave: AMAZIN

You: what's amazing, is that you used the word 'measure' three times and spelled it wrong all three times.

Dave: YU DONT HAVE TO B E RO OD

You: This is actually pretty funny

Dave: Oh ues.
Dave: hop aboard the I'm gr9 train.

You; gr9?
You; grnine?

Dave: g7*

You: BINGO

Dave: CONGRAT
Dave: my bed is lik
Dave; "love me dve"
Dave: it do not understand

You: I don't understand either?

Dave: meow
Dave: I'm a caterpillar

You: caterpillars don't say meow

Dave: CATERPILLARS DONT SAY ANYTHING
Dave: GET REKT
Dave: AIR HORNES
Dave: JOHN CEEENAAAA

You: oh my god child xD
You; bro gonna kill you with all of the intoxication.

--
You quickly opened up your messaging with Dirk.
--

You: Hell man.

Dirk: Yes?

You: Dave is quite intoxicated.

Dirk: He literally handed me his phone and threw himself on the ground and then told me to throw it at him.

Dirk: he's calling himself a caterpillar

You: is he rolled up in a blanket

Dirk: unfortunately.

You; I think he needs sleep.

Dirk: He downed the entire rest of the bottle I had.

Dirk: which was like 1/4 th full.
Dirk: I also didn't know this had happened
Dirk: sometimes I fail at being an adult.

--
You looked back at the conversation with Dave.
--

Dave: THIS ONE TYME

You: Tyme is a cooking thing

Dave: SHSHSHSJAKSISJSM

Dave: I dropped my phone on dirks lap
Dave; he wouldn't give it back
Dave: one time I hid from him at walmart
Dave: he was like
Dave: sun no
Dave; God bless auto correct
Dave: sometymes I don spell 100%
Dave: DIRK DEMANDS I SLEEP
Dave: SLEEP IS FOR THE WE AK
Dave: I'm sleepy
Dave: I hope you have had bad a good night
Dave; time
Dave: tyme*

You: you were right the first time

Dave: time*

You: yes

Dave: lasagna*

You; omg
--

He didn't respond after that. He would have a hell of a bad time tomorrow.

Watching him suffer would be just as funny.

-

Alright alright short chapter but that's fine I was just looking to write some sort of funny filler. :D

Have a good day my loves.
~Admin