A Night Out

Is This What We've Become...

"What?" Erin asked, noticing the look on her friend's face, "what is it?"

Kim didn't answer just pointed to the door.

Erin looked over her shoulder, "Oh...I can tell Jay to leave" she wanted to smack him, he knew they'd be here, "I swear Kim, I didn't know he was was with Jay, and I certainly didn't think he'd come here"

"No, it's fine. We work together. We have the same friends. It was bound to happen, I'm alright" she lied, she longed for him. She could read his body language and it was clear he was miserable. She didn't think he had noticed her yet, she hope he wouldn't.

"Let's just pretend he's not here, please?" She begged the last thing she wanted was Adam seeing her.

"Sounds good to me" Erin told her, though she wasn't sure how well that would work out, "let me go talk to Jay"

Kim grabbed her, "Please don't" she didn't want him knowing that she was uncomfortable around him, she wouldn't let him see her pain.

"Are you sure?" Erin asked.

"Yea" Kim stood up from her seat, "just switch places with me, please? That way I don't have to see him" the seat she had occupied faced the bar, whereas Erin's faced the restrooms.

"Okay" Erin agreed.

Adam plopped down in the booth, picking at a coaster as Kevin returned with their drinks, "Halstead, you gonna say hi to Lindsay?" He eyed Adam who looked absolutely miserable.

Jay looked over his shoulder winking at Erin when he caught her eye, "Nah, don't think so" he desperately wanted to go to her, but he couldn't do that to Kim.

Adam shook his head in disagreement, "Just go, I'm fine" he told them, it killed him that he could only see the back of Kim's head.

Jay grinned, "You sure?"

"Yea, go" Adam told them, "you too Kevin, I'm good" he forced a smile.

"Here they come" Sylvie pointed at Kevin and Jay, she could see the look of panic shoot across Kim's face, "Adam isn't with them, he's still at the table it's just Jay and Atwater" she didn't know Kevin all that well, "he's pretty mopey though Kim, looks like his puppy died" she bit the edge of a pretzel, "maybe you should talk to him, no?"

"Hey, you..." Jay whispered in Erin's ear as he pulled her flush against him, "I've missed you" he kissed her jawline moving to the spot behind her ear, "you girls having fun?"

Erin leaned back from him, "Yea, until you showed up with...him" she thumbed over her shoulder in Adam's direction, "what the hell were you thinking?"

He groaned, "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking" he took Erin's hand and returned to the table.

Kevin already in a conversation with Kim.

"How're you doing?" Kevin asked, "I've wanted to check in on you..but"

Kim smiled, "I'm fine, it's fine. I know you're close with....with him" she struggled to keep her emotions in check.

"Yea, but you're my girl. You come before him, always will" he hugged her, "I love you Burgess" he had started calling her 'Ruzek' and returning to 'Burgess' was odd.

It was obvious his words had stung her as well, "Kevin, umm..how...how is he?"

Kevin turned to look in Adam's direction, "You want the truth?"

She took a sip of wine, "Yea, I do" she dreaded his answer, but she needed to know.

Kevin took Sarah's recently vacated seat, she had cut our early something about an early shift, "He's miserable, making all of us miserable" he glanced in Adam's direction, "I've never seen him like this..." He thought for a minute and he realized that wasn't true. He had seen him like this before, when she had been shot

Kim was worried by the look of Kevin's face, "What?"

"Do you know the last time he was this messed up?"

Kim shook her head, "No. Do you?"

He tilted his head to the side, "When we got word you'd been shot" goosebumps spreading across his arms, the memories hitting him like a ton of bricks, "Kim, the look on his face that night, it was awful. Thankfully, it wasn't too long before we learned you'd be okay. He calmed down and slowly returned to normal"

She remembered the first few days after being shot, when she woke up after the second surgery and found Platt beside her bed she thought she was in the twilight zone or some other strange reality. Her heart bursting with love when she heard a familiar voice speak 'I'm here too' was all he said and it instantly cured all that ailed her. It wasn't long before he confessed to how worried he was and told her he loved her, ironically it was one of the happiest nights of her life, second to only his locker room proposal.

How things had changed.

Kevin continued "Now, that's the only look on his face. He barely speaks at work, I don't think he eats much at all, Al usually forces something on him" his friend was in the midst of a serious depression, "I'm worried about him...really worried"

Kim looked over Kevin's shoulder, "I'm sorry....I should go" she rose from the table and made her way to the door, briefly pausing in front of Adam, she felt her heart skip a beat, and the butterflies in her stomach come to live after laying dormant for so long.

His eyes rose from the coaster in his hands, he could see the pain in her eyes and it was as if someone reached inside his chest and squeezed the life out of him, "Hey..." His voice timid and soft.

Kim opened her mouth to speak, only to find she'd lost the ability to do so, she hurried out the door.

Adam hung his head, "Shit.." He mumbled to himself, he flung the coaster across the table.

How the fuck did he mess up the best thing he'd ever had, it killed him.

He'd had enough, he couldn't take it any longer.

If she rejected him, so be it.

He couldn't live like this any longer, he needed answers. No matter how much they hurt, he needed to know what he had done wrong.

He sprinted out the door, "Kim!" He called out for her, exhaling when he found her waiting in line for a taxi.

She folded her arms across her chest, it seemed symbolic to him.

She was protecting her heart...from him.

"I don't want to talk" she forced out, "I can't do this..."

Adam wanted to hold her, he needed to hold her, "Is this what we've become?"

She huffed, "You tell me.." She could feel the tears build in her eyes.

"Me?" He asked his voice laced with many emotions, "you're the one who called it off, you ended things..not me!" He could feel the eyes of those around them focused on him.

She rolled her eyes, "Why'd you ask me to marry you if it wasn't what you wanted? Why did you break my heart, Adam? Why?" She'd given up on fighting the tears.

She went for the jugular, he ran his hands through his hair, "I never wanted to that" it was as if she kicked him in the balls.

"Could've fooled me" her voice a bit stronger, her anger boiling to the surface, "I can't do this...."

--Note--

I thought this would only be three chapters, but I'm thinking at the very most 5. It all depends on how the next chapter flows.

I really need Burzek to get back together, like yesterday. 😂

UNEDITED