shawn mendes imagines

i want you to love me p. II

I sat on the couch of his living room for the next hour, wondering as to why his parents hadn't come home yet. Shawn prevented me from going home, sitting his body in front of the front door with his back pressed against the wood, throat ready to scold me if I tried to get up and leave. I didn't know why.

One of his knees were bent, acting as a rest for his arm as his hand remained in his nappy hair. He was supposed to leave for his date half an hour ago, but he didn't have to worry when he cancelled it.

Shawn looked up at me and then back at the floor and then back up at me, thinking of the right words to say to fill the silence I caused. For the first time in the hour, he finally broke the tension with the words, "How long?"

"What-"

"How long has it been?" He asked, referring to my feelings. I moved uncomfortably on his couch, sliding a bit away from him. Shawn repeated himself. "How long has it been, ______?"

I fiddled with fingers, beginning to dig my nails in to my rough skin from the cold. I continued to wish I hadn't said anything in the first place. "Freshman year."

"Three years, _____? How could you have not said anything?"

"Because I knew it'd ruin things," I mumbled, the skin on my face turning stiff from the dried tears. "Because I knew it wasn't worth our friendship."

He stood up, long legs trudging over to sit on the glass table in front of me. Shawn looked at me with brown eyes, trying to figure out what was going on with me. Trying to find the answers I refused to let out. "Why now? Why tell me now?"

"I want to get over you, Shawn. I thought that if it finally hit me that you didn't want me back, I'd finally let these feelings go."

"______, I-"

My muscles relaxed to hear a ring from my phone, relieved to find out that my mother needed me home. "I have to go," I muttered, stuffing my phone in to my coat's pocket. "My mom needs me home."

I aimed for the door, and for the first five steps, he let me. But, as I reached for the brass door knob, Shawn stopped me with a hand on my waist. He turned me around, "I'm sure it can wait just five more minutes."

I clenched my hands around the phone inside my pocket, frozen from his actions. I tensed when he placed his other hand on the other side, firmly pressing his hands on to my sides, giving it a feel.

"This isn't right, Shawn." I breathed out, although the feeling felt so good. "Camila..."

"I'm just confused as you are." He mumbled, staring down at his large hands. Shawn looked back up at me, swiping his tongue along his bottom lip. "Give it five minutes. Give me five minutes. Let the feelings take over, okay?"

I nodded slowly, and before I could change my mind, he let his lips land on mine. He kissed me so gently, so lovingly, like he was too scared to go to far. Shawn pushed me against the door, letting one hand linger along my face and the other roam my waist.

He pulled away, landing kisses along my jaw and down my neck. "This is wrong." I whispered, feeling his lips on my aching skin. He gave me the feeling I've been waiting for forever. I didn't want it to stop.

"Feels so right." He remarked, continuing his trails of kisses, letting the words roam freely through the heated air.

It, indeed, felt right. Feeling his skin pressed up against mine. Feeling my love finally get put to use. Finally feeling how it's like to have Shawn in my arms.

But, the bad overweighed the good.

The girl who Shawn cheated on Camila with, was me.

The girl who Shawn felt so bad for, was me.

The girl who caused this all, was me.

Though the thoughts tangled within each other in my fogged mind, making it unclear as to what was right and wrong, I let Shawn love me with his touch. I let him kiss the skin that wasn't claimed as his. I let his lips turn in to cheating lies.

I let him act like he loved me for my love for him was too strong.

-

part twoooo cuz so many asked for it :)))

xoxo,

sas