Being bullied isnt bad enough you have to throw love in too

Chapter 31

Louis' POV

It's been a week since Alex passed and I haven't been the same, none of have. The only time I've left my room is to use the washroom. Everything I see reminds me of her and I can't bear it.

"Louis!" Liam calls from downstairs. I stay silent like always, staring at nothing. He barges into my room. He picks me up and carries me downstairs. "What are you doing?" I ask him weakly and he looks at me. "You need to get out and do something. So you're going outside." Liam sets me down on the couch and grabs a comb, running it threw my hair. He grabs a cloth and wipes my face before grabbing my hand and dragging me out the door.

Harry's already in the car fiddling with the radio station. When he sees me he gets out of the car and immediately straightens my clothes. I hop into the back seat pulling out my phone. I scroll through Facebook before logging off and putting my phone back in my pocket.

"Where are we going?" I ask when we I notice we're heading somewhat downtown. "You'll find out when we get there." Harry says and turns around smiling at me. I let out a sigh and slump down in my seat.

Liam parks the car and we get out. I see the bowling alley and I groan.

"Oh come on Louis. You have to something beside sit around and mope." Liam says grabbing my arm. We get our shoes and I slip mine on quietly. "Louis." Harry says and I look at him. "I know it's hard but you have to remember its it your fault. There was nothing you could do." Harry says patting my leg.

Harry if only you knew. I could've said we didn't want to go. We could've just hung out at her house. I could've said to take me instead of her. I should've.

Liam motions for me to go and I walk over to the bowling balls. I select a bright orange one and I throw it down the lane. I pick a dark green one and collect the three I missed the first time.

As Liam and Harry go I sit and think about Alex. She would have loved to bowl with us. I wonder if she ever went bowling. Is she watching us bowl right now? All these thought and more float around in my head as we bowl. But there's 2 questions I could get answered. Why and who invited Niall? Where's Zayn and did he have something to do with Alex passing?

When we finish the game we return our shoes and Liam decided we should go out and eat. I've had enough "fresh air" for one day.

When we enter the McDonald's I can't help but think of Alex. Every time we passed a fast food place she would look at it in awe. I don't think she's ever been in one, let alone eat at one. She will never get the chance to either.

I order a simple cheese burger and coke, not feeling really hungry.

When we sit down I open up my burger and put some ketchup on it. I put the bun back on before taking a bite. I look up when the door opens seeing none other then Zayn walk in. He gets his food and Liam waves him over. He hesitates before coming over to us.

I can't take it anymore and I just have to ask. "Who invited Niall to eat with us that day?" They look at me and I see them shift uncomfortably. "Zayn did." Liam says and I look at him with hateful eyes. "Why Zayn? It was clear he didn't like Alex.'' I try to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. "I thought I'd invite him because I'm a good friend. Just because you pushed him away for a girl doesn't mean the rest of us did." He looks at me and I feel my blood start to boil.

"If you were smart you would've known not to invite Niall. Alex might still be with us if you used your brain for once!" I ell at him and he looks at me shocked. "I get it. Blame the innocent one because you refuse to blame the one at fault, you." I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. "You don't think I haven't thought of what I could've done. I could've prevented it this way or this way but if you didn't get Niall involved then we could've all had fun without one if us perishing you jackass!" I yell before running out of the building.

I can't handle looking at Zayn. I know I could have prevented Alex's death but the main thing was Niall was there which gave them them the perfect opportunity to strike. They had someone in the inside and that's all they needed. I just wish Zayn knew how to use his fucking head.

I race home nearly collapsing. I lock the door to my room and debate whether I should end it all now. Nobody's here to stop me.

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