It's been long, hasn't it? 11 months, I think? A year? I don't remember, honestly.
You might be wondering why I'm writing you this letter when I am only a mere 10 minute drive away. But, for old time's sake, and for bittersweet nostalgia, you know I'm always the sucker.
Liam, my darling, it's been 10 months since I slipped out of that dreaded coma. I hated it there, you know? I'm just glad I could listen to you the entire time I was consumed my never ending darkness. I heard the 'I love you's, the stories about our little boys and your feelings. Those were the words that I'll keep in my mind forever. About your shunned and neglected feelings.
Speaking of our little boys, Landon turned one yesterday and you asked for the pictures I took. I made two copies, love, because I'll be sealing one of them in here. Look at our precious angel, Li.
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He looks more and more like you each and every day, and on my occasional visits; it knocks my breath away knowing that this little boy and our other angel are our creations.
I didn't know whether to laugh or coo when I saw him as I entered through your door. I knew it was your doing, darling, always so bold and flamboyant with your fashion sense. One of the many things I love about you.
On another note; I refurnished our house today. I know you want to take things slow even though we haven't filed a divorce, and that it'll take you a longer time to actually move back in, but I'll wait. And I'll try to make our house as it was before.
I honestly don't know where I'm taking this or what the point of this letter actually is. My pathetic hope is clouding my mind again and it's screeching; "One day, when you two get back together and grow old, you'll see this in the dusty old box in the attic, indulge in bittersweet nostalgia and reminisce the ups and downs you've been through."
And honestly, that's all I can wish for.
That, and I wish for us to go back to what we were before all of this mess. But even I, being the dubious little bastard I am, know that we won't ever be the same again, there will still be these haunting memories trying to worm their way into us. But we'll be strong enough not to let them crawl under our thick skin. And if you are still hesitant about this, I will always be there to guide you through it. I promise.
Speaking of being strong, our little angel comes into the picture once again. Louis has been so brave, Liam. So strong. And he's merely 4. It makes me smile yet cry at the same time, because the small baby who once used to gurgle and never leave my shoulders; is now tying his own shoe laces and puffing up his chest when I offer to kiss his trodden, crocodile tears worthy bruises.
