Everlast. (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Typical Sunday.

I grasped onto the paper bag until my hand turned purple.
“Are you nervous?”
I looked at Phoebe and gave her a stare saying the rhetorical answer.
“What do I do if I am-”
“You aren’t though. This happens to only sluts-”
“Oh so I lost my virginity on the bathroom floor of a club and I am now a slut?”
I started to tear up and Phoebe held onto my shoulders.
“Hey, hey. You’re going to be a’right.”
I heard the kitchen timer go off. I look at the timer then at Phoebe.
She bluntly stares at me.
“Nothing is gonna happ-”
“Just stop please.”
Phoebe pulled her hair back and watched me stand up from the kitchen floor.
I walked over to the test which settled on the bathroom counter.
I held onto my elbows and bent over slightly.
I looked at the electronic test.
I saw the positive mark that was barely forming.
I looked at Phoebe as she put both palms together.
“Well?”
“Positive.”
She looked at me and came to hug me but I stepped back.
“I’m gonna go to bed...”
“Okay, call me if you need anything?”
I nodded and walked slowly towards my bedroom.
I fell on my bed, landing on my side and had the feeling something moved in my stomach.
I was paranoid,
angry,
melancholy,
etc.
I wasn’t necessarily in denial.
I couldn’t be in denial about something that is going to or already happened.
I just stared at the blank wall.
Nothing.
There was nothing.
Just like my future.
And all I had to say was:
“Maybe I should put something on this wall.”

•••

    The next morning my alarm woke me up at five am sharp. It was usually normal that I got around five hours of sleep on busy night like last night. I prepared some hot herbal tea and drank it while watching a rerun of Alan Carr. I then got dressed in my old Juicy Couture outfit; an old pink jacket with matching trousers. I put my long blonde hair done and quickly curled it before Bella woke up. I put some on makeup and heard the baby monitor going crazy with the sound of Bella’s cry. I went in to see her playing with her fingers as she was sitting up.
    “Morning Bella!” I picked her up and headed to the changing table. I took off her  pajamas slowly and carefully and then took off her diaper. I laughed and took a wipe and carefully cleaned her and then I put some baby powder on her to make her super smooth. I then put on a new diaper and took Bella when she was only wearing a diaper to the kitchen. I then put an old towel on her and tied it slowly behind her neck. I couldn’t afford anything else really. I then gave her some cereal and watched her eat. I usually just stare at her and admire that I gave birth to this beautiful creature. Bella was eating a giving herself a face palm while disposing the cereal into her tiny mouth. She then pick up a cereal bit and gave it to me.
    “Thank you booboo,” I said taking it and eating it.
    “Mummy,” she said eating some more.
    I then started eating a green apple which I found on a tray right by the sink. As I devoured the chunks of sour apple, I saw that Bella was done and she was giving me the sign done from what Phoebe taught her.
    “All done Bella?” I said eating my apple.
    She started signing it even faster and giggling. I then got her sippy cup and poured some apple juice into it slowly. If I take my time, I don’t get paranoid. I handed her the sippy cup and as she went to drink it, the lid broke and the juice splashed onto her face and torso. She didn’t cry, but I felt like crying.
    “I guess you banging the cup really paid off huh Bells?” I said picking her up. I headed towards the bathroom to wash her up. I put her down by the sink so I could run and get towels. She could kind of walk, but she could stand. I could hear her stomp and wobble where I was. I got the towels and headed towards the bathroom and Bella stomped behind. I took off her diaper and put her in the tub. I turned on the water to luke warm and waited till it was up to her toes. She was such a good baby. I know all moms say that, but she hardly cries except when she needs to get up. She does what I say. She follows me everywhere and is such a mama’s girl. She enjoys nap time. She is just perfect. I put some bubbles in the bath and Bella start to flip. She likes bubbles.
    “Here is the rag to clean yourself with,” I said laughing and giving it to her. She smiled and started to slowly rub the rag on her tummy. Her eye contact was on me the entire time and her mouth was quivered open.
    “Mummy,” she said looking at me.
    I clapped my hands and started to laugh, “Good girl Bella!”
    She then dropped the rag in the water to clap her hands. I laughed and got a plastic cup full of some water.
    “Cover your eyes baby,” I said. She then face slapped her hands to her eyes and made and oh with her mouth. I poured the water on her hair. “Good job Bella, here comes the baby shampoo monster.” She laughed and kept smiling. I then squirted some cheap tear-free baby shampoo into my hand and gently massaged it on Bella’s curly, strawberry blonde, morning hair. She was smiling the entire time and messing with her fingers. I then put a wet rag on her eyes and poured the water over to dissolved the shampoo. I did it a couple of times and then picked her up with a dry towel and cleaned her with the towel. I took her to the changing table and put on a new diaper and put her in some leggings and a t-shirt. I then put her thin hair into pig tails and put her down in the living room by her toys.
    I watched her play for a couple of hours until someone came to my door unexpectedly.
    “Hey,” Phoebe walked right into my house. She had a key but I never really mind. Her red hair was perfect wavy and she was only wearing foundation to show off her freckles. She was wearing a big black coat and her tribal leggings. She was also wearing my combat boots which she must have stole when we were in secondary school, but I didn’t mind that now.
    “Hey Bella,” I said playing with her tiny chubby fingers. “Auntie Phoebe is here!”
    Bella started laughing and jumping up and down.
    Phoebe came and picked Bella up and kissed her cheek. “I missed you baby.”
    I then came up to hug and kiss Phoebe’s cheek. “Hey Doll.”
    “You look nice today,” Phoebe said hugging me with one arm.
    “Well,” I looked down at my track suit, “I tried at least. Don’t you have class?”   
    Phoebe put her bag down. “The professor didn’t show up and the dean told us to leave. So since Ed is at work then goes to school, I decided to come here and force you and Bells to shop with me.”
    “Mos def,” I said laughing. “Bella needs some new clothes. She is getting so big-”
    “I meant for you silly,” Phoebe was laughing and hugging Bella. “When was the last time you bought yourself something over twenty dollars for you?”
    “Well I bought-”
    “I meant at the centre and not at a street sale. And one article of clothing.”
    I smiled and looked down at my feet. I used to love getting shoes but I had to put that aside when Bella came. Maybe some new sneakers that weren’t at a yard sale would be good for my self-esteem.
    “Alright,” I said throwing my hands out. “When should we call-”
    “We can leave now and I brought the car,” Phoebe picked up her bag and looked at Bella.
    “Well Bella,” I said taking her from Phoebe. “Looks like we are going to go out.” Phoebe started clapping her hands and laughing. I took Bella to her room to put on her shoes and coat. I put on her pink boots and her black coat to match Phoebe’s. I then put a small chunk of her smooth hair in a ponytail so she had one pigtail. I picked up her diaper bag and her pacifier. I slid the pacifier in her mouth just in case she was going to cry. I picked her up and we all headed towards the car. Phoebe already had a carseat for Bella so I quickly put her in that. I then went to the passenger’s seat and waited for Phoebe who actually quickly got in.
    She started the engine then looked at me. “Ready?”
    “Mhm,” I said checking my phone. I then looked back at Bella was was lying back on her carseat with her pacifier in between her pink lips. She was looking at me with her blue eyes. I smiled at her and I could see a smile form on her tiny cheeky face. She then was trying to jump out of her carseat from excitement. She then threw her hands out at me and started to clinch her fist. I then grabbed her hand with my fingers and she then gripped my fingers and smiled.
    The car started to run and Bella jumped from the noise along with me. We then  drove to the Clayton Square Shopping Centre. It wasn’t that far from our cottage. I was checking my phone and after realizing that there was nothing to do for a three minute drive so I turned on the radio.
    “Remember all the things that you and I did first,” I muttered under my breath to the Cher Lloyd song.
    I heard a click and the song completely muted.
    “I was listening to that!” I said laughing and in complete shock.
    “Well we are here,” Phoebe said getting her purse. I unbuckled my seatbelt and checked back at Bella who was looking out the window. Phoebe then put her hand in front of me. “I got her Jade.”
    “It’s fine Phoebe-”
    “Seriously,” Phoebe pointed at the center. “Go in there and get something to eat.”
    I rolled my eyes and blew a kiss to Bella. I grabbed my purse and started to walk to the center. I walked in and saw that a coffee shop was nearby and I needed to quench my thirst with some pastries and coffee. I walked over to stand and stood in line and waited behind a couple of people. I checked my phone awkwardly and then when I was about to order my drink and food, someone bumped me, making my torso land on the sharp counter.
    “Oh I’m sorry,” I realized whose voice it was. I turned around and saw the man from the club. I saw him smirk and started to giggle. “Well well well,” I looked away and checked my phone. “It’s my beautiful dancer.” He tried to hold my hand but I put it in my pocket. “How about I buy you something okay doll?”
    I turned around and I looked at the counter girl. “I’ll have just a chai and some coconut balls please.” She nodded. I waited for my order, but the curly haired wouldn’t take no for an answer.
    “Are you going to ignore me?” he said laughing under his breath.
    “That will be 4 pounds doll,” the counter woman said. Before I could give her my pounds, the man jumped to it and gave it to her instead.
    I glared at him and turned back. “You really shouldn’t have done that,” I said as I put my euros back into my bag.
    “Your’e welcome,” he said smiling.
    I turned around sarcastically and I then ‘smiled.’
    “That is a little better darling,” he said smiling.
    I waited for my drink and pastry and he was still behind me. I was tapping my foot and tossing my hair back.
    “So...” he said. His long fingers were in his pocket and he was rocking back and forth with his heals, “do you wanna go out sometime?”
    “Please leave me alone,” I then saw my food and drink on the counter and I picked it up and rushed away.
    I didn’t turn back at him until I was (I thought) a hundred fee away and when people were around me. I turned around and I saw that he had his head turned also and we were both looking at each other, eyes locked. He winked at me and then smirked. I was drawn to his green emeralds. Even though I didn’t know his name and I thought he had creepy mannerisms, I still thought I knew him from somewhere, but I knew I didn’t.
    “Jade,” I mouthed. I knew he couldn’t see nor hear me, but I thought at least I should have at least tried to tell him what my name was.
    I then started to walk towards the nearest store and saw Phoebe and Bella on my way out.
    “What’s the hurry love?” Phoebe asked, seeing how frantic I was. She looked behind me to see if anyone was following me.
    “Nothing,” I groaned. My stomach felt weak and I felt as if I was going to throw up. “I am not really feeling that well love, I’m gonna walk home and take a nap.”
    “Want me to take care of Bella while your gone?” Phoebe asked holding Bella and bouncing her with one arm.
    “Will you?” I pleaded. I wanted alone time honestly.
    Phoebe laughed and petted my shoulder. “Course.” She smiled and kissed my cheek.
    I started to walk off and grasp my bag.
    “Is there something you aren’t telling me Jade?”
    I turned around and Phoebe was looking at me. I looked on the floor. I didn’t know what was going on. Why was this curly haired boy making me feel sick? Why did he make me surprisingly feel super good about myself? Why did I miss him?
    I looked back up and looked into Bella’s deep sea blue eyes. She had her pacifier in and she took her hand out. I walked over to give her a kiss. I kissed her hand then held it a little firmly. She laughed and I smiled.
    “No,” my eyes were still locked on Bella’s. I then drifted towards Phoebe and smiled, “I am perfectly fine.”
    She looked at me suspiciously and nodded, “Okay. Now go home and get some rest love.”
    I nodded and I started walking towards the exit and then started to walk the ten minutes to the cottage, and all the way there and for the rest of the day,  I thought of the curly haired boy with the contagious smirk and green emeralds for eyes.