Everlast. (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Sexual Tensions Between Us.

I go find the nearest booth.
I pop a nickel in the slot.
I close the door behind me.
My pregnant belly can barely fit in the booth.
I have to be sideways in order to even breath.
I quickly type the digits.
The rings flutter my ears.
Pull it together Jade.
My stomach starts to turn along with the baby.
I feel she is rotating.
It is still ringing.
“Hello?”
The sound of her voice causes me to breathe heavily.
“Hello...anyone there?”
“M-m-m-m-mum...?”
The phone gets silent.
I start to breathe rapidly.
“Jade? Is that you?”
“Mum.”
I hear tears and gasping.
“Darling where are you? Where did you go?”
I start to burst into tears.
“I am so sorry Mummy.”
I hear her cry.
“Jade you need to come home.”
“Mum...I can’t.”
“Jade please come home we miss you-”
“Mum that is the thing, I can’t go home. I can’t face-”
“Noah did the wrong thing by not telling you, by not telling us.”
I am crying and snorting my own tears.
 “Mum I am almost out of time.”
“Baby don’t go, where are you?”
“I’m fine. I am safe.”
“Jade...please...”
She couldn’t finish her sentence.
She was crying so hard.
“Are you mad...?”
“Of course not.”
I could hear her smile through her tears.
“You will always be my baby.”
“Mum...I am in a booth and-”
“Why did you leave though?”
“Mum I am so sorry...”
“What ever tension was between you and Noah-”
“It wasn’t that-”
“We could have worked it out, you didn’t need to run.”
“Mum...you wouldn’t have-”
I could feel pain in my stomach.
I could feel something pushing on my bladder.
I looked down past my huge belly to see my grey leggings soaked.
I was about to give birth.
I could still hear my mom talking.
“You have been gone for almost six months Jade and you have nothing to-”
“Mum I am having a-”
Before I could finish the line cut off.
I was out of time.
I called her in a booth so she wouldn’t call me back.
I needed her now.
I was in pain and freaking out.
I then grabbed my cellphone and called Phoebe.
It started to ring.
“Pick up you prick.”
It kept ringing.
“Yo yo yo. How did it go?”
“It was emotional and it is about to get a whole lot more emotional for all of us.”
“Why...is something-”
“Phoebe...it is time...”
It went silent.
“No-”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“But you are not due for another-”
“Two weeks I know...”
“Where-”
“Paradise-AHHH.”
“So you are saying-”
“Phoebe, the baby is coming.”

•••

    Harry grabbed my hand and guided me into my living room where Bella was playing with her toys. She had her hair down and was wearing a pink dress, almost like mine. I bet we bought matching ones, or Phoebe did. Phoebe always bought my clothes because I was to busy shopping for Bella. A month after Bella was born, I barely showered and I always was in Bella’s nursery because I was afraid that something was going to happen, paranoid that she would get kidnapped or that the single most cry coming out of her newborn lips was my doing. Thank the lord for Phoebe. She would take care of not only Bella but me. I was so depressed the first month after Bella was born and that I consumed my entire life around Bella I felt as if I couldn’t even move unless I had to put my hand over Bella’s nose just to make sure she was breathing. Phoebe would literally bathe me, dragging me out of bed and placing my nimble body in the tub and washing me. I later got out of my paranoia when Bella was able to lift up her own head.
    “You are so great with her,” I finally say after the gentle kissed Harry and I shared just moments ago. I felt awkward about it, well for him. I still don’t get why he is in to me. It is a mystery to me that has yet to be solved. He held my hand and guided me to the living room like we were a couple. Are we a couple? Are we even dating? We have only kissed a couple of times. They questions flutter my head until he goes and gets his jacket and buttons it towards his torso, showing his swallow tattoos by his collar bone.
    “Thank you love,” he turned towards me and continued to button up his jacket. His shirt was still wet from the water incident yesterday but I don’t think he minded. He was very considerate of others. I could depend on him when it comes to stuff like that.
    I put my hand on my cheek and faced him and watched him button up his shirt. He licked his bottom lip in concentration. He turned towards me, feeling me staring at him. He smirked and then started to laugh as I just smiled at him.
    “You are just so sweet and wonderful,” I closed my eyes and smiled. Imagining a life with Harry. I smiled to the thought of him and I-I couldn’t think of that. I only met this guy a week ago. I opened my eyes and quickly clenched the bottom of my dress with both hands and pulled the bottom of my dress down, my nervousness catching up to me. “1...2...3...4...” I quietly muttered to myself. I could feel Harry staring at me and I looked over without turning my head and then closed my eyes and started to breathe slowly and continue counting.
    “Is something wrong?” I ignored his question for a moment and continued to do what I was doing. I then slowly decreased the pace of me counting and I went back to my normal pace. I stopped and I opened my eyes. I haven’t had one of those...attacks in a long time. I then looked at Harry and nodded.
    “Does this happen a lot?” I shrugged in response. I didn’t want him to think of me as a freak. I can’t help myself. I don’t remember when this started to happened. I remember as a little girl I would get these panic attacks and Mum would come in to calm me down. She would hold me close to her body and rock me back and forth and sing to me: Golden slumbers kiss your eyes, Smiles await you when you rise. Sleep, pretty baby, Do not cry, And I will sing a lullaby.
    I look at Harry and smile a little bit. “It used to happen a lot when I was a teenager,” I explained and I could feel his hand hover over mine. “When Dad left, I started getting these attacks and it would happen everywhere. Mum could never afford to see what I had because of money. Once she married Robert and got the money to see a doctor, she never wanted to anyways. She was always afraid of the consequences. When I was thirteen I started to get them again, and I think that is why Robert never really liked me, because I have this disorder. I get them sometimes at work when I am on breaks, and when I have call-ins.”
    “Call-ins?” Harry pondered the word. I never used the word prostitute. It is such a demeaning word and I am not one. I don’t want to be one. I have only done a couple call-ins in the past year, though I did a lot when I was first raising Bella. I could never get the money. The last call-in was when I met Harry. I started to tear up a little bit. I hoped he didn’t notice, but he placed his hand over mine and squeezed it once he realized I was crying. I pushed my hand away from his and I looked at him and smiled, avoiding the consequences.
    “So what were you talking about earlier?” I asked as I picked up Bella and placed her on my lap. She was by my side the entire time I was in the living room. She usually sits down besides me and plays with anything that is around her. I used one arm to support her and I used the other to play with her hand. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she giggled. “About taking us somewhere right?”
    Harry placed his hands in his pockets and started to rock them back and forth. “Do you have a stroller?” he asked and his green emeralds were wide and I knew we were all going to go out.
    “Yes...” The stroller is crummy but it is doable. I laugh at his response. He starts to smile and he grabs my hand.
    “Good,” he says and kisses the back of my hand. “Cause we are going to the gardens.”
    “St. Lukes?” I was surprised that he even knew where that was.
    “Ya,” he smirked and grasped my hand a little tighter, “My sister lives near here with her boyfriend and we go there quite often.”
    “Why?” I start to smile. I must look like an idiot. I can tell Bella thinks I am quite a unique one, though her head is on my shoulder and I am swaying side to side to make her a little more relaxed. I then slowly sat her down to the floor, and watched her wobble to her toys.
    “She likes to drag me to shows and art gallery stuff,” Harry looked down to the grated floor and continued to smile a little bit. I squeezed his hand a little tighter to see if he was okay. Sometimes you shouldn’t say anything, it is the physical actions that count. “Her boyfriend isn’t really one to go out.” I never asked about him. He seemed like someone you could never rely on, someone who was an awful human. Someone who would abuse such beauty as what Gemma seemed. I would love to meet her.
    Harry shook his ratty brown curls and with a quick hand he brushed it towards his back. He smiled at me and then moved closer to me, all his focus on my chapped lips. His lips were so glossy, seemed like they would taste like cherry cola, but they seemed to taste like mint. Every time he kissed me I could taste mint, and a swirl of lavender. I don’t know why I would, but it would remind me of my mum’s garden and how after Dad left. They would grow outside the rusty old cottage we lived in. Even though the whole place was ruined, the lavender seemed to grow unexpected. It seemed to be the only good thing to come out of the situation my family was in.
    He then bent his head a little bit, his curls tickling my forehead. He gave me a quick peck. Even though it wasn’t the long kisses that we shared together, it was still perfect and it made me flutter. His fingers brushed against my cheek and then rested along it and he gazed into my watery blue eyes. My eyes always appeared watery. Sugar and Phoebe said people with constant watery eyes have a dark past, Harry had those eyes too. I looked into his green eyes, noting the suttle brown in them. It reminded me of mint and chocolate for some odd reason.
    “What?” he smiled and he placed both hands on both on my cheeks and lifting me slightly so I am on my tip toes.
    “Nothing,” I smiled and closed my eyes and rubbed my nose against his. “I just like to stare at you.”
    Harry laughed loudly and then bit his bottom lip and then grabbed both my hands and started to sway them side to side, “Well, I like to stare at you too.”
    I then started to squint at him and curled my lips a little, squeezing his hands and going onto my tip toes a bit so I appear taller, “That makes me weird huh?”
    “Only a little bit,” I started to groan and then I playfully hit him. He rubbed the “sore spot” which was on his jacket, over his toned body. I seemed to forget that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, only his black jacket and his black dress pants, and his dress shoes. His hair was long, and it was parted to the side and his curls, damn those curls can make a girl go crazy. I started to think how many girls have ran their fingers through his perfect hair?
    “Excuse me?” Shit did I say that out loud? I then started to blush, I put my hand over my face and started to laugh super hard, looking like an idiot and crying at the same time. This time these tears weren’t for emotional trama in my life, it was out of embarrassment. He then started to laugh and grabbed my hands and kissed my forehead.
    I then started to look around the room and stutter the syllable ‘i.’ “I-I-I-I,” I can’t form words properly, “I need to get the stroller for Bella...” Good excuse Jade.
    “No lemme get it,” before I could protest, Harry put his finger onto my plump lips and then quietly made a noise that sounded like a wave, high tide to be specific. As if I were standing on the beach and wearing a blue sundress, and it is in the middle of the autumn. Though it is cold England weather, I extend my arms and close my eyes, taking in the sound of the waves and the cool breeze that comes out of it. That is what Harry makes me feel, relaxed. Simple as that. I watched Harry walk towards the hall closet, him placing his hands in his jackets pockets and hunched over slightly and walking. “Oh and Jade,” I look up, not noticing that my hands which balled into a gist were resting over my mouth. I quickly put them down as Harry turned around and smirking. “Not many girls have gone through this hair, but I never have gotten any complaints,” he winked and I could feel myself turning red. I looked away and saw Bella who sitting on the floor, gazing up at her mum. I widened my eyes and even though she is barely one, she started to giggle and put her hands over her mouth which was shaped in an o. Harry’s eyes as they said that, I couldn’t explain it. Full of lust and...I can’t believe I am saying this, sex. Not like sex as in a teenager saying it, though I am barely eighteen, but as in the process of it. When you build up to it, when you are on your peak and then you release it. The journey of sex, the feelings during it. I just wanted wanted to run at Harry and jump him, wrap my legs around him, and he then bites my neck as I moan. I never felt that way before. Before I could finish my thought, Harry was in front of me with the beaten-up stroller. I looked up to see me myself on Bella’s level and it seemed I was watching her play with her stuffed tiger as I was thinking provocative thoughts about Harry. So help me god, I am a terrible mother.
    “Ready?” Harry asked as I gazed up at him while he was holding a fifty pound stroller with just one hand. God why does he keep making my hormones rage? I feel...no.
    “Lemme get...my...shoes...” I sprint up to his height and I then quickly run into my room and shut the door behind me panting. I don’t know why I am freaking out. I rush to my bureau and look into the mirror, sweat dripping from my temples. I put my hands over them and rub them off, splotting my makeup. “Christ,” I then lightly touch it, hoping that it will all blend together somehow. I result to grab a cheap makeup sponge and try to blend it together. It somewhat works, but it looks cheap and like...well a stripper. I see some white flats on the floor and grab them and before I open the door, I breathe. I open the door and I walk into the living room to see Harry holding Bella, who has her coat and shoes on, and to see the stroller which is all ready to go, has her diaper bag, the snacks I always keep in the fridge, and some juice in a cheap sippy cup for Bella. Harry is holding her and looks so amazing, the both of them. I just smile and so does Harry and Bella. Harry doesn’t stop looking at Bella though, which is best since my makeup is all messed up now. Once he gets her to laugh, he smiles and looks at me.
    “Ready love?” the way he says love, the way he says ready. I am more then ready. I am ready to spend my days with him. I am ready to see him raise Bella. I am ready for him being with me, holding me. I look into his green eyes and smile back at him, causing him to show his whites. I look to my right to the coat rack and grab my tan t-coat and swiftly put it on. I button it up slowly, then follow that by tieng it around my waist. I look up to see Harry still smiling, though waiting to receive a response.
    I smile and place my hands by my sides. “I thought you would never ask Mr. Styles.”