Love or Payne? [Niam A/U]

Chapter 20- Love Me

LETTING YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW I'M CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS I'M SORRY THIS BOOK IS SO SAD D:

Liams pov.

My chest pounded, as I sat in the hall outside of the room that the boys were now asleep in, sitting in the chairs around Niall.

The lights were half on, giving it a dim look for it was 4 am, an no one was roaming around but a few emergency doctors, and me.

the light bulb above me flickered here and there, it waking me up every time it did.

My mother's last words before she hung up still rang in my head, giving me a nervous, dizzy feeling of how they are going to react

"Stay right there, me and Geoff are going to be there soon."

I put my hands over my face and let out a shaky sigh for I never thought such a thing would be so hard. I known gays were disowned by their parents sometimes, but seeing how bad it is, seeing how it can rip a beautiful soul like Niall's was scary.

No one ever stopped and thought, "Wow, I wonder what would happen if...if my parents didn't love me." Because that's their job. To love you, and after sharing you biggest secret to them, and being kicked to the curb...it hurts. It kills.

No one really understands how hard the gay people of the world have it. Constantly judged and ridiculed, bullied and broken, and some, not even having loving parents to come crying too.

It felt like everything was crumbling from my fingers, as if Iost my grip on life, that something was missing. All along those days of being with Niall, accepting him, accepting myself...I realize what I was missing wasn't his love...it was my parents.

They need to know that o can go to them when time, like now, were bad and they can tell me it's fine...that they loved me... that they still love me no matter whom I love, was such an aching pain because there is such a thin line between love or pain, and it can be broken by two words.

"I'm gay..." I said softly, closing my eyes as I let a small tear fall, my eyes burning ever time I cried for it seemed to be endless.

"Liam?" I heard a soft voice call, followed by the familiar tap of foot steps , continued by an other pair of steps that were heavy.

I looked up and looked into both my mother and my father's eyes, and felt a dread I never felt before. such fear, and self hatred filled me as they walked closer to me, I knowing that the two words need to be spoken..and I needed to be loved.

I saw the small fear in my mother and my father's eyes as they saw the tears pour down my face.

it needed to be done, I need to tell them because I'm feeling all of what Niall went through and...and no one should ever feel so afraid to be who they are.

I inhaled steadily and said "Mom...dad...I'm...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.." I felt my lip tremble as my eyes pricked with tears, my body shaking as I said "I'm gay....and my boyfriend is in that room, dying...please...please don't hate me I...I...I don't know what else to do please.." I cried as I put my hands over my face, sobs pouring out of me as I felt by body itch with fear.

I inhaled sharply when I felt arms pull me up in the air, then I cried harder after I felt my dad hug me. I wrapped my arms around his back and dug into them with my fingers "Please...please I'm sorry, I don't mean to be this way....He...He just means so much to me and he's...I'm losing him...and I don't want to loose you too."

I felt my dad shake a bit, hearing him sniffle softly as he said in a cracked voice "Liam, I will love you no mater who you are...we will always be there for you, no mater what..."