Incandescent | Phan

Chapter Twelve: Happiness

I was listening to the 1975 as I wrote this. From what I've heard their new album is bomb af.

***

Phil:

***

I woke up, a smile on my face and my arm was still wrapped around Dan. He looked peaceful, content even. This made me smile. I hated it when he was upset and seeing him so distraught last night was horrible.

I vowed to keep him safe and happy for as long as I lived.

Gently brushing at his fringe, which had taken to its natural form or as Dan called it, 'hobbit hair'. He scrunched his nose up as my fingers accidentally threaded through a knot in his hair. I carefully moved my hand and just watched him, a small smile on my face.

"Stop watching me." Dan mumbled. "It's creepy."

Shyly, I retracted my hand and I cursed myself for having such pale skin as a bright red painted my cheeks. "Sorry."

Dan laughed, rather croakily but it was still the cutest thing that I had ever heard. "It's okay. It's cute really, I was just teasing."

He then grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with my own. I smiled at this however it wasn't helping with the blush on my cheeks.

"I didn't think you'd stay." I frowned.

"Of course I would stay, why would I leave you?" He shrugged, I furrowed my eyebrows. There was something he wasn't telling me.

"How did you sleep?" I asked. Trying to change the subject and thankfully it worked."Any nightmares?"

Dan shook his head, a proud smile on his face as he said that he hadn't had any nightmares. I smiled too. "That's good. I'm glad."

"I'm glad too."

***

An excited murmur broke out across the class as our English language teacher announced that our lesson was cancelled on Thursday. Usually I'd be excited but that meant that I was stuck in college for an hour and half until Ryan was free so he could take me home.

I could get the bus home but I always ended up embarrassing myself on the bus so now I avoided them at all cost.

Packing away my stuff, I sighed and trailed behind the others, Dan noticed I was lagging and asked me what was wrong.

"Nothing I'm just tired."

"Don't lie to me." He said. Pulling me aside so no one could listen in to our conversation. I was grateful he cared but I just didn't feel like talking. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just lately I've been a bit down, it's okay though." I shrugged, nonchalantly. Dan frowned. "I'll be okay though. I always am."

I tried to walk away for Dan to drag me back. Concerned eyes and a worried frown was what I was greeted with.

"Phil..." He trailed off. Obvious he wanted to say a lot but not knowing how to put it into words.

"Just know that I'll always be there for you and you can tell me anything. Okay?" Dan said, instead. I nodded.

"I know. I'll speak to you later, yeah?"

It was stupid really but I had been trying to avoid Ryan as much as possible as I tried to figure everything out. I had been trying to avoid everyone to be honest. Dan especially as he was confusing me even more.

My guilty conscience and my too-nice-for-my-own-good-personality was my downfall. It was my weakness and it will always make me crumble. Not to mention that Dan was another weakness of mine.

Dan was someone who I couldn't upset nor avoid. Dan meant a lot to me and when he called me up crying I just couldn't say no.

Dan was my only source of happiness lately.

And I was so scared of admitting this so I stubbornly thought avoidance was my only way of getting around the problem.

However, that's just made the problem worse and now I just don't know what to do.

X

This was wrote rather quickly so it may be shit. I apologise. However I needed to get an update for you guys as I haven't updated in a while.

I hope you like it, please leave comments and tell me your thoughts :)

This is going in the direction that I want it to go in and I'm happy. I know the ending and how I want it to end.

Don't worry this will probably be around 30 chapters long.