Chapter Eighteen

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All Marco could do for a few moments was stare blankly at the road before him and Tate.

He wasn't entirely sure of what had just happened between him and Jean. Jean confessed to him, didn't he? He was always so confusing, ever since that first kiss in the café. One moment Marco was certain he loved Jean, and Jean loved him, but then something would happen that made him believe it wasn't true after all. And he got tired of it. It was a constant roller coaster of guessing and being disappointed. So, when Jean actually did confess, he wasn't sure if it was for real or not. Besides, he didn't actually say it. Never once did the words, 'I love you', 'I want to date you', or even 'I really like you' ever come out of Jean's mouth. Or, if they did, he couldn't tell. Jean had spoken so quickly, and his words were slightly muffled since he spoke into Marco's shoulder.

He remembered their first kiss. Jean's lips felt so soft and so right against his own. And every time he climbed into bed next to Jean, he felt happy and he knew he could stay by Jean's side for hours.

Even now, thinking of how Jean was in his arms just minutes ago, Marco couldn't help but blush.

I think I do want that, Marco thought to himself. I do like Jean. That much is obvious. But, Jesus, does he finally know what he wants? Or is he going to kiss me and then change his mind again?

"Marco? Marco. Pay attention."

Marco suddenly looked over, snapping out of his thoughts. He saw Tate, staring at him, and suddenly felt bad for not listening. "Oh, I'm sorry... I was thinking about something else."

"About what?" Tate asked.

It was nice that he actually cared... But Marco didn't think he would care so much if he knew it was about Jean.

"Oh, it's nothing really. There's just a lot going on." He looked ahead of them and saw that Jean's truck was still parked. Perhaps he was waiting for him and Tate to go. He bit his lower lip, and suddenly had an impulsive thought. It was crazy, and maybe not a great idea since he wasn't entirely sure of what happened between him and Jean, but... He knew he had to do it.

"I'm sorry, Tate, but can you give me a minute? I forgot to say something to Jean..." Marco said.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be here." He just shrugged.

Marco jumped out of the car and rushed to Jean's truck. Without any warning, he opened the passenger's side and hopped in, shutting the door behind him.

Jean jumped as soon as he saw Marco. He looked surprised, and even a little scared. Although he always kept a pretty tough exterior, Marco could see that his eyes were still slightly red from his moment of weakness earlier.

"M-Marco, what are you doing?"

"I just had one last thing to tell you," Marco said. He could feel his palms grow clammy, and he was beginning to have second thoughts.

Jean's cool eyes looked eager to hear what Marco had to say. Hopeful, even. Marco's heart skipped a beat as he took in all of Jean's appearance. His angular jaw, his straight nose, and the piercings he had in his upper ear cartilage. His hair had just been re-dyed last week, the top now lightened and his dark roots gone. And, with his tough exterior broken, Marco felt as though he had new feelings for Jean. A new kind of love. His love for Jean was always there, whether it showed or it was tucked deep into his heart. But it never went away. It was like a deep thought he pondered on often, but stayed at the back of his mind even after he began to think of other things.

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