Perfect and imperfect

The News I Received

It's Monday now, I've gone to school. At the end of the day I got a phone call from Krista on the school's main office phone. There's some news about Izzy, so my mom is going to drop me off at the hospital.

"Good luck, sweetheart," she says, only I'm already out of the car. 

I practically run up to the hospital doors, only to be greeted by Mr. Blaze outside before I get the chance to go in.

"I heard there was news on Izzy! What happened? Is she better? Could I see her?" I blabber on and on.

"No. You can't see her. She's not, she's not better," her says bitterly toward me.

"What?" I can barely get the words out.

"Get out! Get out of my sight and my life! What gave a freak of nature like you the right to be the last person to see my baby daughter healthy? You don't deserve to even be here! Get away!" He screamed at me with tears forming in his eyes.

"Last, p-person? Wh-what do you m-mean?" I stutter out fearing the worst.

"I mean she's dead! She's dead because some stupid person made her start liking girls! If she only never met you and never felt these feelings she would be alive and happy dating Nick today!" He screamed taking a step forward as I took one back.

"Dead? Izzy, she died?" I managed to get out with my choking throat.

"Yes! Dead because of your infection!"

"We are just friends," I start, my sorrow starting to turn into anger, "We were just friend! This isn't my fault! This is all Nick's fault, that creep! How dare you try and blame me for the death of my best friend! How dare you blame me for the death of this perfect girl!" I yell back.

"Now, excuse me but-" he tries to argue but I cut him off by yelling, the tears now freely running down my face, "No! You listen to me now Mr. Blaze! I can't help who I am or what I feel but I can assure you, no matter what my feelings for her are, I mean were, she doesn't, I mean didn't, feel anything more then friendship for me! Your daughter had helped me through so much and I would've done anything for her! I have all the right to be here, expecting to see the only perfect person in my life happy and alive and healthy again! You have no right to blame me! The all to imperfect me, for everything that has happened!"

"Now just wait a min-" he tries again but I shut him down, "Just a few weeks ago! It was just a few weeks ago I had lost one of my best friends to death! It was supposed to be her birthday the other day, but no. She died! She died and I cried and cried and cried. Heck I still cry myself to sleep over it! Daisy is dead, and as I still am grieving her you somehow have the nerve to blame me for the death of Izzy! The person I care the most about in the world! My best friend! Why? Why am I aloud to live as all the people closest to me die? Do you honestly think I want this?"

"Wait, Delaney-" he tries to speak again, now with a softer tone.

"What? What now? What more could you possibly say?" I yell.

He looks at me, a sobbing mess, for only a few seconds of deep thought and consideration. He looks as if he's deciding what to do next. Soon enough, his soft expression grows harsh again and he appears to come to a conclusion. He speaks in a voice, low and firm, "Go, away. Izzy is dead. You and your queer ways are gone now."

I stare at him, blankly and heartlessly. I look at this evil man with not disgust the way he looks at me, but with confusion. The last words I say before running away from that hospital is with a shaky, cracking voice, "I am sorry. I am sorry for your loss. But it is my loss too."

I ran to the closest house to the hospital I know. It takes ten minutes before I get there but I eventually arrive, running the whole time it takes. I ring the doorbell and collapse onto the stone porch in a mess of tears as I wait for a response. I sit there with each second feeling like eternity until eventually I hear the door open.

"Delaney? What wrong?" I hear Hope's voice and feel her hand place on my shoulder. I don't answer, I can't answer. I just sit there and cry and when she sits down next to me I cry onto her. She clearly feels uncomfortable because she is unsure of what to do, but I want to be selfish for a second and just take this friend and keep her for as long as possible.

"Delaney, hey, it's okay. Everything will be okay," she says while patting my back to try and calm me down.

"No, no it won't," I manage to get out and I begin to tell her everything that had just happened.

I feel like it's almost funny, I was so optimistic of what would happen today because of how normal Krista sounded on the phone, but instead this is the news I received. Izzy Blaze, the first and only person who I have ever been in love with, had died. Nothing can ever go right for me. Nothing could ever be right with me. I can never be perfect. The only perfect person I know is, I mean was, Izzy.