Few months later...
My mind still jogs around the idea of being with Ashton again. He protected me and loved me no matter what. He made me feel safe and secure.
What if he really means everything he said, that he's 100% here.
I want to be his baby girl again, he took care of me and treated me like a porcelain doll.
calling luke...
"Hello?"
"Hey, where can I find Ashton."
"local bar." he says bluntly but truthfully.
"okay, thanks." I say quietly.
We hang up and I throw on some clothes, I have no one to impress so who cares.
I walk down to my truck and drive to the only bar that I know of in town. At least the one that's closest to my place.
I walk in and scan the room, receiving stares from many people.
Finally I see a bartender pouring a drink for a curly haired man.
He throws back the shot and sorta slams the glass down on the bar.
"Hey." he snaps at the guy behind the bar.
"Yes sir?"
"Why the fuck did you put water in that?"
"You've had a lot to drink sir, maybe you should call a cab."
"I'm not paying you to give me water or tell me what to do."
The bartender stays silent as Ashton stands up, clearly pissed.
"I'll just go to another bar." he hisses, grabbing his things, and turning towards the door when he lays his eyes on me.
I walk outside before he can catch up to me, but I forgot Ashton is a professional drunk, he can run while intoxicated.
"Jade." he says stern enough for me to freeze.
"I thought you were better, I thought you weren't having any more aggression or anything??"
"I am, that was just a one time thing."
"Sure like when you-" I stop myself before I start something I don't want to.
"Like when I what?" he questions.
"Nothing, it's nothing. forget I said anything."
"why are you here." he asks
"I wanted to talk, about us."
His eyes brighten up at my words.
"but I don't want to if you're drunk."
"Well I didn't drive here so can I get a ride home?"
"you can just crash at my house." I say quietly.
He nods and we get in my truck, quietly making our way back to my apartment.
Once we arrive, I unlock the door and help him inside.
"Here." I hand him a pillow and a blanket.
"Thank you. You didn't have to do this." he says quietly.
"It's fine, I don't mind."
He takes the pillow and blanket from me, our hands gliding right over each others igniting a spark.
A spark I haven't felt since the day we met. A spark that I miss.
"Goodnight."
"Night."
I walk towards my room, jaspar following close behind.
We reach the bed and that's when the water works begin.
"He makes me so sad and so happy all at once." I whisper to myself.
"You just make me the happiest." I hear a low voice in the darkness.
I wipe away my tears and turn on my bedside lamp, Ashton stands in the doorway his eyes locked on me the whole time.
"How do you feel about me jade?"
"Such as?"
"Feelings."
"I-I love you."
He stays quiet, slowly making his way over to me. He sits next to me in my bed and grabs my hand gently.
"I love you too."
"I'm just scared of being with you..."
"Why."
"I'm afraid of being abandoned again."
"I won't do that to you. I promise. I love you too much to do that."
"Then why did you the first time."
"Because that wasn't me, that wasn't the Ashton you met in a bar or fell in love with. It was a different side of me that I didn't even like."
"I've always loved you, no matter who or what you become."
"I didn't like who I was and I didn't want to hurt you."
"I understand that, now."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I guess."
"No it isn't."
"Ashton please stop."
"No I shouldn't ha-"
I cut him off by lightly pressing my lips against his, a feeling I've missed for so long. it's been close to a year since I've felt his lips against mine.
I break away and press our foreheads together,
"It's okay, you're better. That's all that matters."
"But in the process I made you worse." He whispers as he runs his fingers over my wrists.
"I-I.."
"You don't have to explain."
I fall silent, knowing what I've done to myself.
"You're still my beautiful princess no matter what." he whispers, his warm breath fanning my face.
"I miss you Ash."
"I miss you to Jade."
"I told myself I wouldn't give into you so easily."
"But." he adds in.
"But, i think I am." I finish.
"Take your time, don't rush if you don't want to. I'll be around whenever you are ready to let me come back."
"I'll always be around." he continues.
I nod and give him a quick hug before he shortly returns to the living room, where he fell fast asleep, leaving me wide awake in my thoughts.
