Ashton left early the next morning, I know because he left me a note.
Princess,
Thank you for letting me stay the night and for talking to me. I really can't thank you enough. Don't rush, I'll be here. Okay?
xoxo Ash
I remember waking up to these notes often. He use to disappear on me a lot towards the end of things between us. He hated talking face to face then, but I know this is just because he didn't want to wake me super early.
That's sweet of him.
I smile a little and fold up the note, placing it carefully in my "junk" drawer in the kitchen. It's not really a junk drawer though. it actually has old notes from Ashton, love letters, his sunglasses, and my pack of cigarettes that I haven't touched in a week.
Jaspar growls at me, signaling he needs to go outside.
I open the door and slip on my shoes, we walk down the stairs and out into the grass. Jaspar sniffs around and plays in the grass for awhile when something catches my eye.
I walk over to my truck and notice something under my wipers, it's a note.
Look inside.
I open my door and find a black tee shirt, I pick it up and my favorite bands logo is on the front.
"Guns and Roses." i smile as I whisper to myself. My old one got ruined from jaspar tearing it up as a puppy.
"I hope you like it." a soft voice says from the right. I look over to see Ashton's face.
"I do, thank you. You know how devastated I was when my other one was demolished."
He gives me a small smile before turning away.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"Oh I just wanted to see your reaction to the shirt. I figured I'd give you some space." he scratches the back of his neck.
"Do you want to come in for coffee?"
"Um, sure." he smiles, he picks up jaspar and follows behind me. We get inside and I start brewing the coffee.
"Why did you run off so early?"
"Luke needed me."
"I see, well thank you for the note." I smile a little and pour us both a mug full of coffee. We got out on the balcony and enjoy the fresh morning air.
"What are your plans today?" he asks me.
"I'm not sure."
"Would you mind if I hung out with you?"
I look over at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes.
"I would like that." I shoot him a smile to reassure him.
"Cool, I'd like that too." he smiles back at me.
"So what did you have planned today?" he asks me.
"Honestly, just sleeping and watching tv. I'm so exhausted." I tell him.
"Would you mind if I watched tv with you as well?"
"Not at all, that'd be nice."
"Cool, why don't we get started then." he takes my mug from me and sets it on the little table. He then takes my hand gently in his and pulls me up to walk back inside.
"Living room or bedroom?" he asks.
"Bedroom, please. I hate falling asleep on the couch."
He leads me like the child I am, he hands me a sweater knowing I love to sleep in them, and tucks me in as he turns the tv on.
"what channel?"
"you know what channel."
He flips it to Cartoon Network where adventure time plays out its theme song.
I him along with the catchy tune and he smiles a little. He takes his shoes off, then lays right next to me. We don't make physical contact, but it is close enough that I can feel his warmth.
This is what I need, just moments like these to reassure me of him.
We don't speak until the commercials and only share a few laughs at the goofy show.
Soon Ashton gets quite and that's when I realize he had fallen asleep. He's so beautiful when he's asleep.
Peaceful, calm, and his soft pink lips part slightly.
He's what most would refer to as a god.
But I've just always called him daddy.
