Refound Love (YTSTMB sequel)

Part eight

Phil P.O.V.

Before I stepped in the door of our flat I knew there was something wrong with Dan. I didn't know what it was, I couldn't place my finger on it and he wouldn't tell me what it was either. Whenever I asked him what was troubling him he'd brush it off, saying he was fine and that I was overreacting. I knew I wasn't being paranoid because I could tell he was putting on a fake smile for show and his face would turn back into the blank expression when he thought I wasn't looking. 

The blank expression he had begun to wear again was all far too familiar to me. When we first met, I had learnt to know it like the back of my hand since it was almost like it was the only facial expression he knew.

He didn't talk to me much at first and I'm sure I must've annoyed him at times with my childish behaviour, but despite his efforts to push me away, I kept holding on, knowing the real him was hidden under his constant damp mood. It took some time, but eventually, smile by smile, laugh by laugh, his depression slowly lifted, leaving me with all the layers of Daniel Howell I hadn't seen but had yet to fall in love with. But until now, I had never really felt the burden of keeping him happy, since it all seem to come so effortlessly. 

"You're thinking about how I was when we met, aren't you?" Dan asked, cocking his head to side as he stared at me. 

"I, uh, no... I was thinking about, uh, that one time we went to the shop..." 

"You're an awful liar," he laughed. "I'm fine, stop worrying," he got up and passed me the TV controls. 

"Where are you going?" 

"To my room. I need to recharge. Reset my batteries and all that. I'm fine, I'll be back out later." 

"Okay," not getting a quick kiss or anything before he left stung. It probably sounded pathetic, but he always did it, even if it was just going to the neighbours to ask if they could look after our place if we were going away for a while. 

It wasn't the first time he had avoided contact since I got back home, and how distant he was being was killing me, but I respected his privacy and space and so that's what I gave him, he knew where I was if he needed me. 

Some minutes later I could only assume he was shutting out the world and ignoring his problems by putting on a set of headphones and mumbling along to the lyrics. I muted the TV so I could listen to him sing oh so badly out of tune, but the sound made me smile. 

* * * 

After shoving two pizzas in the oven, I went to Dan's room to tell him dinner was going to be ready soon. I only noticed now that his singing voice had retired and he was on the phone, and I could see through the tiny gap through the door he was lying flat on his back, grinning ear to ear. 

"What? No way! That's going to be crazy! Nah, it'll be really cool! Do you need any help? I'd love to see this... Ugh, PJ!" He grimaced but laughed, his dark eyes seeming to sparkle. "Wait, wait, I think Phil's at the door. Phil? What is it babe?" 

"Uhh, I just wanted to tell you I put pizza in and it'll be ready soon," I had opened door so I standing halfway through it, feeling myself flush after being caught red handed. 

"Okay, just gimme a shout when it's ready and I'll be straight out." 

"S-sure..." But I had hardly finished saying the word before he looked back up to the ceiling. 

"Sorry, what were you saying?" He asked PJ. I didn't want to hear anymore so I turned on my heel, heading back to the kitchen so I could steady myself against the side, feeling my stomach knotting. 

I didn't feel good about this. At all.