XVII

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"Okay, what are we going to be doing today?"

  "We trained pretty hard yesterday. Let's do something simple. Punching bags?" River suggested and I nodded. I chose a punching bag; he stood on the opposite side.

  I punched it with my right hand and he punched it back to me.

  "So, when are we telling everyone about our, um, engagement?" River asked awkwardly while I kept my eyes on the punching bag.

  "Tonight?"

  "In the cafeteria?" he queried, uncertain.

  "Yeah. Is that a problem?" I murmured, lifting my foot to kick the bag.

"Not at all, " he answered quietly.

  I nodded. "Tonight it is, then."

  The rest of the day, we continued to train in absolute silence. We both had a lot to process.

For me, the idea of marrying River had always been a dream. A fantasy, really. I hadn't actually expected it to ever come true. And now that it had, I wasn't as excited about it as I would be.

River wasn't who I thought he was. He wasn't my childhood crush, he was a completely different person.

That doesn't change the fact that River Ashmore was the first person I had ever loved. As a husband, he will also be my last. It was either that or he will die. As much as I wanted to find my true love, I wouldn't wish for someone to die because of my choice. Especially River.

His father chose me and I felt responsible for River now. Although River probably had loads of women wanting to marry him, who'd be better than someone who used to love him with everything they had?

  —

  River's POV:

My stomach felt strange. It was turning and doing somersaults.

"What is this? The Organs Olympics?" I muttered. I tried to shake away the feeling and decided to check on Blair.

I stopped at her door, contemplating whether I should enter or leave. Taking a courageous breath, I opened the door and step inside.

  She was pacing back and forth. I gulp, taking the time to look at the woman I was going to marry. Blair's eyebrows were slightly furrowed in thought and she looked anxious. I didn't blame her.

  "Hey."

  Blair looked up, startled by my presence. "Oh, hi."

  "Are you okay?" I asked as I stepped towards her.

  "Somewhat."

  "I feel the same way."

"Are you nervous?" she murmured, looking down. I could tell she was embarrassed.

"If I'm being completely honest, yes."

"Me too, " Blair sighed and I motioned for her to sit down on the bed. When she did, I sat beside her, noticing how she fidgeted with her hands.

"We can do this some other day, you know. Tomorrow, next week, anytime you want, " I reassured her.

"I know, " Blair locked eyes with me and I held my breath for a second. "But, I want to do this now."

"Get it over with?"

"Exactly."

  I caught a flash of emotion in her eyes and I put my hand on her shoulder.

  "Hey, are you okay?" I questioned, concerned.

  "I'm..." Blair hesitated. "I don't really know."

  I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off. "We have an engagement to announce, don't we?"

  She was trying to ignore her emotions. I had some experience in that. I gave her a small smile, nodding. "Yes, we do."

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