All I Want (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 17

Harry kept his eyes locked on his computer screen, the images almost blurring together but he could still see the two smiling, walking side by side and laughing like nothing was wrong. And Harry hated him.

He wrapped his fingers around the bottle just a bit tighter, his jaw clenching and free hand running gently over the tiny onesie that he takes with him everywhere. Harry swears by the end of the tour the little clothing won't be more than a tattered rag. It's constantly in his pocket or clutched in his hand as he sleeps, he can't go anywhere without it.

But because he has it that doesn't make him good, does it? He carries around his unborn baby's onesie but he's not a good guy, he's not with them, he left Louis with a baby again.

Harry took a big gulp of his drink before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and staring at the pictures on his computer. But he couldn't even look at them too long without seeing Louis' name pop up on the screen, the older lad trying to videochat with him like he has been for the past two days. He keeps ignoring him, and maybe it's that that makes him a bad guy, because he's not good, Harry knows that, he's told himself that at least a thousand times within the past hour.

He answered the call anyway, taking another gulp of his drink before the camera focused on him. And Harry wasn't even sure if the computers connected before he spoke up.

"How was your date?" he asked, trying his hardest not to slur his words but by the blurred look Harry saw on Louis' face he didn't succeed.

"Harry..." Louis barely whispered, shaking his head and rubbing a hand over his face. "What the tabloids wrote and the pictures are shit, don't believe it," he said almost firmly. "I literally ran into Sean on the street, we walked for three blocks together before we went our separate ways. Don't be ridiculous."

"Oh so you- you can accuse me of cheating, but if I utter anything about you seeing another guy I'm being ridiculous?!"

"Harry stop screaming, you need to relax and-"

"Shut up!!" Harry yelled, angrily pushing himself out of his chair and stumbling backwards before finding his balance.

It was silent for a second, the only noise being Harry's heavy breathing and his quiet pacing as Louis just watched him. They haven't been able to just talk without screaming for five minutes for nearly a week, and Harry knew it was his fault. He wasn't a good man, he was a drunk man, an angry man and he knew that, it was his fault, all his fault.

"Harry put the bottle down, please," Louis begged quietly, seeing the younger lad take more than a few large gulps of the drink. "I don't want to fight, I-...Please just tell me what's wrong."

"M'fine," Harry slurred, wanting to focus his eyes on the computer but only felt more dizzy at the bright light.

"Harry you're not fine!!" Louis said, trying his hardest to will back the tears pooling in his eyes just at the sight of the younger lad. "You've been stumbling around for nearly two weeks!! There's a difference between partying and depending on alcohol to avoid whatever it is you're going through!"

Harry shook his head, his thoughts running a mile of minute and he wanted them to stop, wanted all of this to go away.

"Harry put the fucking drink down and talk to me!!" Louis screamed, seeing the younger lad take another swig from the bottle. "You can't keep doing this! You have a family, you-"

"Louis I'm not a good guy!!" I'm selfish, I-I'm a selfish man!!" Harry yelled, stopping his pacing and looking towards the computer with glassy eyes. "I left you, I-I just left you again..." he barely managed out, muffling his quiet cry into his hand.