Bubbles

Chapter 9

Penny

"She always just said 'Jonathon was a bad man'. A bad man. I couldn't see him. I miss him. She always just said 'Jonathon was a bad man'. A bad man. I couldn't see him, and I miss him. She always just said-"
"Penelope has been suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder for a number of years."
"'Jonathon was a bad man'. A bad man-"
"How can we help?"
"I couldn't see him, and I miss him."
"I'm afraid you can't, really. She needs rest, and relaxation."
"I miss him."
My eyes are shut tight, and I'm listening to some people having a conversation. It smells like a hospital.
Hospitals are too much of an interference. I don't have to eat, Dr Andrews.
My lips are moving. Oh.
It's me talking about Johnny.
I open my eyes. I'm lying on a hospital bed. Lucy, Mickey and some guy in a white coat are standing by the door.
"Lucy!" I sit up as she's walking over, and grab her arm. I tug her down and stare at her. "I need some bubbles."

I'm staring at a candle in my room. It's dark. I'm grounded. Greg has left four voice messages on my phone, and I don't know what to do with them. I'm not sure if I shouldn't have told her anymore.
I'm seeing her tomorrow. It seems so far away. I love Mondays, because everyone else hates them. It isn't Monday's fault that it comes at the start of the week - it deserves appreciation just as much as Friday does.
I didn't get any bubbles.
I miss her chocolate hair and her freckles and her smile. She's the only person I know who smiles, besides Mickey.
Well, who smiles with their eyes. Everyone fake smiles.
Greg lied. We do have homework; a short biology essay. I'm not paying much attention to what I'm doing as I write it out with my favourite pen.

I dream things I'm not allowed to dream.

The morning goes by quickly because mum is ignoring me.

It's only when I get to school that I realise Greg will be there.
I walk past the gates.

I'm at the beach, and there's a group of middle-aged people watching me. I think they're wondering why I'm not in school.
"Hi," a boy flops down beside me in the sand. "I'm Ozzie."
I squint at him, focussing on his face in the sunlight. "I'm Penny."
He does a half-smile. "Why are you skipping school? I'm doing it because I'd get fucked otherwise."
"Someone there I don't want to see. In what sense do you mean 'fucked'?"
Crinkles form at the sides of his eyes, interrupting his caramel complexion.
"Beaten up. I'd be lucky if I meant it in the other way."
I decide that Ozzie is a potential friend, and I have to ask him the essential question.
"Do you like bubbles?"
He chuckles. "Who doesn't? Hey, would you like an ice cream? I've got some cash."
Ice cream. Calories.
Fat.
"I'm alright, thanks. I just ate."
I missed breakfast.
"Aw, okay. I'm gonna get one. Wait here, would you?" He hops up and brushes the sand from his jeans.
I watch his retreating figure as he saunters up to the takeaway. The group of people give me one last simultaneous look of disappointment, and walk off.
Everyone is disappointed in Penelope Gold.