Chapter 40 - Moving On

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*Cara*

The screen of my phone glows brightly, clearly mocking me. A frozen pair of eyes are staring back at me from it. The brightest, gentlest, kindest pair of eyes that I've ever seen. I can still feel the love that she granted me on that frame. She was mine. A picture of us before the storm hit. My arms were holding her close to me, my face was pressed to her neck, drowning happily in her mesmerizing scent. I couldn't get enough of that. I still am, craving her presence. I was hers and it was only the two of us, until I decided that it wasn't enough. Stupid me. With another tap of my finger, a message window pops. My finger hovers on the delete button. The last picture of Jess and I on my phone. With another tap, then it's gone. I should do it. She's moving in with Sophie.

My grip on the glass tightens, I press my eyes closed. Sophie is clearly out done me. I didn't even have enough balls to ask Jess to move in with me. I was too damn scared of the commitment. Scared of something that now I desperately ache for. It's all over now. I put my phone on the kitchen island gently and pour myself another glass of vodka. The one which I toss back all too quickly. I want to feel nothing but empty buzz tonight. Tonight, I am going to celebrate another end of a story that already have ended long on the other side. But not on mine. Abso-fucking-lutely not. After another glass, I pick up my phone again and press the delete button without letting myself to think about it. Ripping out the bandage in one quick motion should have lessened the pain. It's not. I can still feel it all over my heart.

*Sophie*

I didn't expect her to say yes when I asked her to move in with me. But she did. Albeit the hesitation before she actually said yes, she filled me with joy and hope. When we decided on which place to take, she agreed right away to move into a new place. A place that's only for the two of us. Away from all of the past, both of mine and hers. Especially hers. She wanted to escape and I'm glady be just the right ticket for her. From now on, there's no more looking back. I will make sure that she'll only look at one certain direction, me and only me.

Now she lays beside me, her arm over my stomach, her head against my shoulder. This is our first night on our new home. She's making circles on the bare skin of mine with her fingers. My heart never races like this for anybody else. A content smile has plastered permanently on my face since the day she agreed to move in with me. I steal a glance at her face. She has this faraway look that makes me curious about what's on her mind.

"Love, what's wrong?"

She slowly looks up at me, smiling gently and shakes her head. I arch one of my eyebrow, encouraging her to share whatever it is with me. I want to know everything about her. It'll never be enough. I want her so much, it's making me insane.

"Nothing, babe. Why are you asking me that?"

She rises up from her position to get on the same eye level with me. I roll to my side and bring myself face to face with her. Her warm breath is caressing my face with each of her exhales. She props her head on her arm, her hair's falling down like a curtain. I thread my fingers through it, feeling her silky mane.

"Is this okay? No second thoughts?"

She lets out a soft chuckle and smooth my furrowed eyebrows with a movement of her finger. She lowers herself and claims my lips with hers. She sets my whole body on fire. The magic that she has over me. I rise up to meet her lips and demand more from her. This isn't enough. I'll never get enough of her. But before our kiss turns into something more, she pulls away and winks teasingly at my breathless self. Another stolen kiss from her and I groan in desperation. She's teasing me and she absolutely knows that.

"Sophie, my love. Do I look like I'm having a second thought?"

Her hair is wild from our make out session. Those brown eyes of hers tinkle in delight. With a sexy smile of hers, gone all of my doubts about us. I growl playfully at her and motion at her to come closer with my finger.

"Only if you stop teasing me and get those sexy lips of yours back here."

*Jess*

After two whole months living together with Sophie, we settled into a wonderful life together. Waking up beside her, seeing her smile first thing in the morning. Ordering pizza and chinese food for our movie nights. Dancing on the kitchen floor and making love after that. Hearing her stories about the craziness from her set. Asking for her opinion on my current projects. I can see myself doing exactly this for a long run. It's surely easy to lose myself in this new life of hers. The nagging thoughts on the corner of my mind is almost gone. Almost.

I know that I'm not being fair with Sophie by holding back my concerns and all. But I do not want to screw this up too. There's nothing like the present. This is surely worth more than the past. If there's something that I've learned from all of those binge watching How I Met Your Mother with Sophie, this is it. New is always better. Go ask Barney. It's his rule after all. I can do this. This is the right thing. I won't pinning on the wrong girl for way too long like Ted. I'll leave that damn Blue French Horn in peace and get the real thing.

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