Never Forget

Alone

Chapter 18

I was afraid to tell you.

Afraid?

I really did want to, but I was afraid. You're too important to me. I was afraid of how you'd react.

Kira, you should know me better than that. It's hard to think about, but... that's exactly why you didn't want to tell me in the first place, wasn't it?

Mhmm. I'm sorry.

It's okay...

There was a loud crash, as the tree split from its trunk and fell to the ground. I was panting hard, my knuckles split wide open and bleeding, my stamina exhausted. I dropped to one knee and watched the sweat drip from my hair. This was why I usually tied it back in a braid. It was sticking to my neck and yet also flying everywhere. Now, it stuck to the sides of my face as I lowered my head, trying to regain my breath.

I had replayed the episode with Kakashi a thousand times by now, trying to come up with different alternatives. How had I been so stupid? Of course this happened – it had been inevitable, on the brink of disaster, and I'd just let it continue. And now, it occupied my mind entirely and would not go away –

I lashed out in fury, springing at the tree in front of me, and landing a punch that would've made Tsunade proud. My knuckles protested, but I continued, striking with my left.

Listen, Kakashi... I have something really important to tell you.

Yeah?

It's about the Voldemort thing, my confidant... see, he's... someone who's in touch with the Akatsuki. He's technically on their side.

... so, an enemy?

Yes, theoretically, but he's given us a lot of information, and so we're just gratefully accepting his help, you know? Can you... can you understand that?

Kira, this is a big thing to undertake.

I know, I know – but he's only helped us out so far. We're wary of him, too.

I understand. Thank you for telling me.

That would've been a much better solution – I should've just told him that last week! Why couldn't I have the ability to turn back time? Why couldn't I redo the past?

A scream erupted from my throat, and I pushed off the trunk of the tree with my feet, flipped once, and came back at it feet-first, landing the ultimate blow. Wood splinters flew everywhere. There was another loud crash. The birds were long gone.

'Kira, I think you should stop.'

"I don't care!" I screamed out loud, relishing in the physical pain. "This is my fault – why the hell am I so damn stupid?!"

'Stop before you hurt yourself,' Amaterasu warned. 'Do you think Kakashi's going to like seeing you all beaten up?'

I stomped back toward the obstacle course, ridded with metal spikes and blades and traps. "He'll probably be glad, at this point."

'You don't really mean that – ' Amaterasu started to say, but was interrupted by another voice.

'You shouldn't say that.'