What He Left Behind

Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

“Urgh.” He groaned, causing me to pull the covers up around my body tighter, too scared to look at the man next to me.

I felt his body shift on the bed, and he pulled my body in closer to his, effortlessly.

I sat up, pulling the sheets up around my body, and I swung my legs over the side of the bed. My face was wet with tears, as I felt ashamed of myself of what I had done last night.

“I’ve got to go, sorry.” I mumbled, keeping my eye level looking at the floor, not once looking towards the man only metres away.

“Rose, please.” He said, making my whole body tense up, and stop moving completely. I looked towards him, the tears dropping onto the floor rapidly, as soon as I looked at his face in front of me.

“Listen to me.” He said, grabbing a towel off the hanger, and wrapping it around his body, before moving to stand in front of me. He gently placed his finger under my chin, and pulled it up to look at him.

My body was shaking with tears, as I remembered what had happened last night. He pulled me into him, wrapping his strong arms, around my petite waist.

“I can explain everything Rose.” Noah told me, brushing hair out of my face. “I need you to listen to me though. I know I’ve been a jerk for the past few weeks, but I did it all for a reason, trust me.”

“Trust. Yeah, I’d like to see you try.” I finally replied, moving away from him and sitting in an armchair, making sure every part of me was covered by the bedsheet.

“I beg you Rose, just, give me a chance please?” He said, lowering himself onto his knees in front of me, resting his hands on the tops of my legs.

“I’ve given you far too many chances Noah, and you were so horrible to me.” I sniffed, looking away from his eyes, which were staring into mine. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again. You were even awful to your own son, how could you even do that to him?”

“Hey, I know how I acted, but I did it for a purpose.” He told me, in a soothing voice, completely different from what I had witnessed from him in the past few weeks. “When I saw you for the first time recently, I felt like I did when I was eighteen, but I kept telling myself that you needed someone better, someone who didn’t leave you. I was selfish and self-centred, and I felt you deserved someone so much better. I did what I could to make you hate me, Rose. Remember that time in the hospital, when I first met Nate and held him like a new father holding his newborn?” I nodded, thinking about the picture I took of them together. “Yeah, well I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, because he is so perfect, and he is mine. Yet, I left you when you were pregnant with him to do things that resolved around me. I hated myself for doing that Rose, I still do.”

“I tried so hard for you to hate me.” He continued, taking my hand and leading me onto the sofa, which he joined me on. “I felt like a disgrace. I shouted things at you, said horrible things about you and Nate, saying I never wanted either of you in my life, but I do, I really do.” He looked up at me, taking my hands in his, bringing them up to his lips and kissing them softly. “When Nathan went missing I was so worried and upset, making sure searches were always taking place. I remember calling him ‘my son’ for the first time, and your whole face lit up. I immediately became aware that you might be thinking about ‘us’ as a family, and I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t come back into your life easily, not after everything I had done, so I said horrible things to you again. I hurt your feelings, and by me hurting yours, felt like I was being stabbed in the back it hurt me so much.” I looked up at him, completely shocked by everything he was telling me, still unsure whether to believe him or not.