wild youth [sequel to never again] // n.h.

Chapter 5

Riley's POV ~

The last week had been hell. After the contract had been signed, Demi was all over Niall and I had to fucking sit there and watch. I don't know how I lasted, but thank god I did.

I didn't know if I could next time, if there even was a next time.

Liam, Louis, and Niall had gone to the airport to drop off Dani, El, and her, so it was just Harry, Zayn, and me back in the bus. I was tucked into Niall's bunk, clad in his favourite sweatshirt, thinking back on the past week.

It was a living nightmare. The dates, the kisses, the hugs. Everything they did together pissed me off, my heart shattering over and over. Worst part was that Niall had no idea.

Luckily, the boys of 5 Seconds of Summer are flying in from Sydney tomorrow afternoon and I knew they'd get my mind off of the past week. For that, I was tremendously grateful.

I had grown closest to Ashton, probably since he was the closest to my age. And I'm not going to lie, he's very attractive. He's got wavy hair which barely resembles Harry's and blonde hair like Niall. Other than that, there weren't any similarities.

He had shared that he used to self harm as well and wears a shitload of bracelets to cover his scars. I just had one, but I had resorted to making more along my upper thighs, which he vaguely knows about.

~

Niall and Demi had just gotten back from a fancy date that management had paid for, acting all cute and couple-y. Words could not describe how angry I became. I was mad at management for setting the relationship up. I was pissed at Niall for allowing this to happen. And most importantly, I was furious with myself for falling for someone who broke all promises made.

So when the happy couple came back to the hotel late, I was with Harry in his and Zayn's room, watching Doctor Who on the telly. The connecting door was propped open so I had seen them come into their room, Demi shower kisses all over Niall's neck and leave a few noticeable love bites, and Niall pull Demi down onto their bed. My heart was thumping in my ears and my heart was in my throat, ready to fall out of my mouth if I opened it.

I quickly apologised to Harry and scurried over to my room with Dani and El, my two best mates fast asleep. I grabbed an extra razor El had brought and disassembled it, my hands shaking rapidly. Tears were streaming down my face as I finally freed the sharp, silver object from its plastic confines. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and pulled my jeans down to my ankles, digging the razor into my skin, scarlet staining porcelain skin.

I dug deeper and deeper, littering the canvas of my skin with unremovable marks. Worthless, I thought, my vision becoming hazy. I'm utterly worthless compared to her. Negative thoughts continued to rack my brain until I finally passed out from blood loss.

~

A sob shook my body and Harry came running back into the bunks. "Shh, Riley, baby, I'm here," he whispered, pushing hair away from my damp cheeks. "I'm not going anywhere."

I pulled on the string of his hoodie and managed to drag him into Niall's bunk. I curled into his side, breathing in his comforting smell of apples and mint. His phone started ringing, Louis's set ringtone playing softly from his back pocket, but Harry ignored the call, focusing all of his attention on me, which was something I greatly needed.

The wetness wouldn't seem to let up as I shoved my face in Harry's grey v-neck, temporarily staining the fabric a darker shade of grey. Harry pressed kisses underneath my eyes, kissing away the puddled tears. "What were you thinking about?" he asked sweetly.