When We Broke-up

9 (PAST)

PAST

HER

Outside, raining. Kasabay ng pagbuhos ng luha ko, dito sa harap ng bahay niya. Kanina pa kumakatok, but he doesnt seems to care at all.

"L-love please...."

I beg when I knocked to his door outside, it's already 3:00a.m but I dont want to go, I want him. I want him to love me again. I want him back, I want my RJ back...

"RJ please please I'm begging you to open this door and talk, I know I'm not the girl you want to have but please I'll give you everything just please love me again..."

Crying crying crying....Being with him is like having every single one of my wishes come true. I want him, I want my RJ back. I'm too bright to shine in his dull World..

"R-RJ please, please open the door..."

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional...

"M-Maine..."

I look up then I saw him, he open the door then I ran through him and hugged him so tight, just please hug me back RJ? Please?

"L-Love please..."

Pilit niyang iniaalis ang pagkaka-akap ko sa kanya, I cried. Hindi niya na ba talaga ako mahal? I thought he loves me more than himself? Why? One day he will want me and tell me sorry, but it'll be too late.

"M-Maine, just let me go..."

"N-No, love me please. Love me again...."

I kissed his lips pero itinulak niya ako sa labas, napaupo ako sa sahig. But he doesnt care, and I dont care at all. I just want him back.

"You broke a promise and made me realize. It was all just a lie..."

I whispered then I stood up, napayuko lang siya. Nilapitan ko siya then he glared at me. Then napaatras lang ako...

"I said diyan ka lang, I'm sorry Maine but we can't fix it..."

If someone really loves you, they wouldn't let you slip away no matter how big the situation is. I'll hide my broken heart beneath a laughing face and though you'll think I never cared, no one can take your place.

"Just give me more time, I know we can fix our relationship RJ..."

My voice cracked then I hugged him but he didnt hug me back, I dont want him to go. I can't...What do you do when Something that was your Everything becomes a Nothing?

"Maine, its not you, its me..."

"Punyeta naman RJ, j-just please love me back....."

He caresses my cheeks, I closed my eyes when he kissed my forehead. I just opened my eyes and he's nowhere to be found. Umalis na siya...iniwan niya na ako.

*****

Pauwi na ako, iyak parin ng iyak. Akala ko ba mahal niya ako? Akala ko ba hindi siya bibitaw? Bakit ginawa niya sa akin ito?!

"He doesnt love you anymore Meng. He doesnt love me anymore..."

I told myself. Malakas ang ulan at 0 disability na sa labas. I can't see clearly.

Kasabay pa ang namamaga kong mga mata sa kakaiyak.

"RJ doesnt love me anymore..."

I said while driving and crying at the same time. I want to die right now.

Bakit ngayon pa? Sa 3rd anniversary pa namin? Akala ko pa naman ay susuyuin niya ako kasi nagalit ako pero malala pa pala ang nangyari.

Makikipagbreak na pala siya sa akin. Sinukuan na agad ako ng taong pinakamamahal ko.

*PEEEEEEEEEEEP*

O_O

*BOOOOOOOGSHHH*

Kinapa ko ang ulo ko, may dugo....

"T-Tulong..."

Hindi ako makapag-salita, hirap na hirap ako. I gasped when I saw my one leg, napaungol ako sa sakit. Hindi ko siya magalaw...

"T-Tulong--"

*****

I open my eyes, I saw Coleen and Nanay crying while looking at me.

What happened?

"N-Nanay?"

"M-Meng pinag-alala mo nanaman kami..."

She brushed my hair and I smiled sadly, I cried again. I just remember, RJ doesnt love me anymore...

"N-Nanay, si RJ? Nanay, mahal pa ba niya ako...?"

"Shhhh, huwag mo muna siyang isipin...."

I saw my one leg, hindi ko siya magalaw. Napatingin ako kay Coleen she's crying. What's happening? Why I can't move my one leg?

"Nanay? Bakit hindi ko siya magalaw? N-Nay?"

"Meng, huwag mo muna galawin ang paa mo..."

Iniwan niya na talaga ako, hindi niya na talaga ako mahal, bakit ganun? I need him, I need my RJ...

The hardest thing I have done is acting like I hate him, when really I love him more than he will ever think. I wish I can show him that how much I love him more than myself.

Why does he need to leave me? Why?

*****

Nakatingin ako sa isang tungkod na naka sandal malapit kay Nanay, inabot ko yun hanggang sa malapit na ako mahulog sa kama.

Tulog silang lahat, I want to runaway. I want to die. No one needs me anymore, RJ already broke my heart, ayoko na...

Hanggang sa maabot ko yun, I tried to stood-up. Mahirap palang maglakad na nakatungkod, tinignan ko muna sila habang dala-dala ang isang bag na punong-puno na damit.

I took a deep breathe and tuluyan ng umalis sa ospital na yun, I ran away. I want to be alone, I dont need them. I need him even he doesnt seem to care at all...

I can't move-on kung patuloy kong iisipin ang isang RJ, I want him but I can't. Everyone says you only fall in love once, but thats not true, because every time I see him, I fall in love all over again.

The most painful memory I have is of when I walked away and he let me leave. He said that he loves me, ba't kailangan niya akong iwan?

Starting today, I'm nowhere to found....