When We Broke-up

11

HIM

I took a deep breathe when I stare at her outside, nakasilip siya sa kanyang bintana habang ako ay nakasilip lang dito sa kotse. Nagtatago baka makita niya ako.

Pumunta ako dito sa Bulacan just to see her, but nahihiya na ako. I just stared at her and I smiled when she stares at the stars. She's so gorgeous--bakit pa kasi kita pinakawalan?

11:24 p.m

She really looks like repunzel, waiting for her prince. I want to go to her and tell her that I really love her. But Its too late, huli na ang lahat. Lahat lahat.

"Tisoy, titig ka na lang ba diyan?"

Tumingin ako kay Mama Ten na antok na antok na, I chuckled and umalis na. Tumingin ulit ako sa kanya. Then umalis naa ko tuluyan. I love you Maine. Hindi na magbabago yun.

"Alden, bakit hindi ka mag-ipon ng lakas ng loob na sabihin na mahal mo parin siya?"

"I tried pero kusa akong umaatras Ma Ten."

He took a deep breathe then pinagmasdan niya lang ako, I can in his eyes awang-awa na...

"Ikaw lang ang nahihirapan sa inyong dalawa, kung ako sayo, sabihin mo na"

"Hindi ganun kadali Mama Ten, galit siya sa akin. Habang ako? Duwag."

Nagbuntong-hininga na lamang ako, huli na ang lahat. Pinakawalan ko siya na hindi nag-iisip. Hinayaan ko siya umalis, hinayaan ko siyang masaktan dahil sa akin.

Nagsisisi na ako, I want her back...

I want her back to me again, I want to hug and kiss her. I want to tell her that I really love her. Pero its too late, too late...

"Huli na lahat Den, pinakawalan mo na siya...."

I nodded, tama siya huli na ang lahat. Pero hindi ako titigil, alam kong mahal niya pa ako. Alam kong mahal niya pa ako alam ko yun. Nararamdaman ko yun.

"M-Mahal niya pa ako..."

"Hindi na.."

Napasapo na lang ako sa manubela, gusto ng magwala, mahal niya pa ako. Mahal niya pa ako. A-Alam kong mahal niya pa ako...

******

HER

Stars. Everytime I stare at those stars, parang may sinasabi sila sa akin, ngunit ang puso ko lang ang nakakaalam nun. I smiled then I closed my window. I'm okay, nailabas ko na ang lahat ng sama ng loob ko sa kanya.

"Meng, bakit kailangan mo pang gawin ang mga pinaplano mo?"

I almost jumped when Coleen is already behind me. Kabute ba to? Kung saan saan sumusulpot eh. Nakakagulat.

"Kabute ka ba---"

"Just answer my questions Maine."

I took a deep breathe  alam ng masama ang mga pinaplano ko pero ang sakit sakit talaga sa dibdib, I want him to suffer. Gusto kong maramdaman niya ang sakit na naramdaman ko rin noon.

"Kasi gusto ko rin siyang maghirap."

She glared at me and napailing na lang, ako lang ang nakakaramdam sakit dito sa aking dibdib. Ako lang, kaya hindi nila ako naiintindihan kasi ako lang ang nakakaintindi sa sarili ko.

Sobrang sakit ng ginawa niya sa akin noon, sobra akong nasaktan. Halos araw-araw ay gusto ko siyang makasama pero siya na mismo ang bumitaw. Siya na mismo ang sumuko.

"G-Gusto kong maramdaman niya ang s-sakit. Gusto ko siyang masaktan..."

Dali-dali siyang tumayo at iniakap ako. I cried. Ang sakit sakit ng ginawa niya sa akin. 2 years isnt that enough to move-on. Humanda ka RJ...

"Shhhh, basta kung ano ang gusto mong gawin. Kahit masama man yan, susuportahan kita. Alam kong ayan lang ang paraan para makalimot."

Tumango na lang ako at iniakap ang aking kapatid, I smiled sadly then I just took a deep breathe. Memories can fade but the pain won't.

*****

I woke up, nakatulog pala ako dito sa sofa malapit sa bintana. 3:00 a.m lang pala, tumingin ulit ako sa labas, I saw one guy staring at me. He's wearing shades and a black cap.

Napatayo ako at pasimpleng sumilip sa bintana, napakunot-noo ako, he really looks so familiar.

O_O

RJ...

Anong ginagawa niya dito? Bakit siya nandito?! Dali-dali akong bumaba and binuksan ang pintuan namin, I saw him staring at me.

"L-Love..."

Stop this RJ, ayoko ng masaktan pa, just let me go. I want to forget you. I want to hate you. I saw him crying, nilapitan niya ako.

"Stop right there Mr. Faulkerson."

I glared, I saw pain in his eyes when he took off his glasses, I took a deep breathe then I just glanced at him.

"L-Love"

"Stop calling me love..."

I said then I saw him took a deep breathe, I want to cry too.

******

HIM

I want to hug her, I want to kiss her. I want her to be with me again, I just want her. I need her. I miss you but I'm trying not to care. I love you, but I'm trying not to show. I want you, but what can I do when you are not even mine?

A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it.

Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them and sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on. I miss you Maine.

Lumapit ako sa kanya, she stepped back then I hugged her. I closed my eyes, God you know how much I miss this girl.

"RJ, stop please..."

I saw her crying, you are always with me.. in my thoughts.

I'm not supposed to love you. I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do. I'm sorry I cant help myself because I'm still in love with you.

She's right, I'm wrong, and I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry for that night Maine, s-sorry..."

"One day you'll miss me so much when I'm gone. You'll feel the pain that I have been feeling for a long time. You realize how much you've hurt me. You'll cry , scream like I have cried. But I'll never come back..."

"M-Maine..."

"...You're hurting me without you knowing...if only I can tell you what I feel maybe it will make a difference.I hate this always at your side but not the girl you want."

She said, kumalas na siya sa pagkaka-akap ko, I look at her walking away. She's right, I love you Maine. I understand...

We meet. I greet. We make a memory, we remember it. We make a heart and it eventually cracks apart. I leave, she go, i take a piece and she take one that used to be whole. She cry, i say bye and she say hi to remember when there wasn't a goodbye. She hug me, she go, and tell me to wait until next time she'd say hello. I said no matter what, I will always be there with you. She looks back, sheds a tear, and I says I know. I love you, but now its too late.

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance and you find out you still care for that person.

I'm really sorry for that night....