Out Of Nothing At All

Part Fifteen

"Oh for fucks sake. SPENCER!!"

"What? What did I do now?" He poked his head round the kitchen door.

"What is that?" You pointed at the white powdery substance that was sprinkled over the kitchen counter.

"Sugar?"

"Do you want us to get infested with ants? I've told you time and time again you need to clean up after yourself, it's not the same as being on the third floor. We'll get bugs."

"Sorry." He grabbed some paper towels and some antibacterial spray and started cleaning up the mess that had no doubt been left there since he got up this morning.

Four weeks you'd been living together now. And for the most part it was okay.

You hadn't killed each other.... yet, and you'd actually found yourself enjoying his company more and more. It had been huge comfort to you having him there overnight, although you'd been back to the hospital for your check up and everything was now looking okay.

There had been four nights that you'd had to spend by yourself where he'd been required to be in the field, but Garcia had told you to call her straight away if you needed her. She'd offered to stay with you but you figured you needed to be a big girl and at least try. Your maternity replacement from Andy Swans unit, a chirpy woman named Kate, had transferred across early so you were free to stay at head quarters, helping Garcia and profiling via link up.

Reid wasn't exactly a bad housemate, it was just..... weird living with him. And he had annoying little habits. Like coating the kitchen counter with sugar when he made his morning coffee or forgetting to get groceries when it was his turn. He wasn't used to buying for two people either so when he did remember to pick stuff up, it was generally only enough for a few days as he'd only buy enough for one.

He also talked in his sleep and slept with his bedroom door open, so you could sometimes hear him rambling off random facts in the night. You'd walked past one night hearing "The word badger is said to derive from the French 'bêcheur' meaning 'digger'." When you'd asked him the next day if he'd been dreaming about animals last night, he just looked at you funny.

He left his books everywhere. Like literally, everywhere. You'd woken up one morning to find one open, half way up the stairs, another one on the floor in front of the washing machine. When you'd been to his apartment, it had been so clean and tidy, but when you'd questioned him, he'd just shrugged. "I was bored when I waiting for my laundry."

"And the stairs?"

"You have really comfy stairs. The carpets really soft and fluffy."

You'd looked at him trying to work out what the hell went on it that brain of his, deciding to just not bother even asking. "Just clean up..... I can't be bending down all the time to pick up after you."

He'd nodded and apologised, and then seemed to make a conscious effort to put them away. You wondered for how long?

He also struggled with privacy and would just walk into your bedroom to talk to you whilst you were changing. His excuse "I've seen you naked before" might have flown before but in the last few weeks your tummy seemed to have exploded and you were starting to feel really self conscious about the strength marks that were appearing. When you'd told him this, he'd shrugged and gotten into his car, disappearing for half an hour.

When he returned it was with a CVS bag, containing cocoa butter and bio oil which he handed to you. You'd been mildly offended thinking he was suggesting that your stretch marks were bad, until you realised it was just him trying to actually be sweet and do something nice for you.

You were exhausted after work and left Reid cleaning the kitchen whilst you went for a bath. You'd grabbed food on the way home, eating it in the car.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day, you finally agreeing with Spencer to go and see your parents. He'd agreed to make the four hour drive with you. You could have flown at this stage still, but you felt some what uneasy, and you could tell he did too.

Your Mother had sounded surprised when you called her, announcing that you were coming for a visit and to get the guest rooms ready as you and your friend would be staying over.

You relaxed in the tub for a good hour before climbing out and pulling your pajama on. Needing a drink, you headed back downstairs hearing that Spencer was still up.

Peeking into the living room on your way back through, you saw he was watching yet another documentary about childbirth.

"I thought you had every aspect of this memorised by now?"

"I have."

"So why are you watching another?"

He shrugged and you made the mistake of glancing at the screen just in time to see a very graphic image of a babies head crowning.

"Oh I do not need to see this."

"You probably should you know. Seeing as you've not been to any ante natal classes. Did you know that during birth your vagina will stretch to up to...... "

"Shut up shut up shut up!!! Stop talking about my vagina."

"Why.... It's going to happen. You know it's got to stretch to get her out."

"Yes but I don't need to know how much..... Oh god.....what if it never goes back to its normal size?" You'd avoided thinking about this up until now, but the image on the screen of those pink fleshy lips expanding and a head being forced out was making you recoil in disgust. And the noises the woman was making. Fuuuck, she sounded like someone was shoving a hot poker up her ass.

"Have you been doing your kegal exercises?

You weren't listening. "What if it stays stretched? Ugh... Sex will never be the same again. Oh my god! What if it ends up...... baggy?" You whispered the last part in horror as Spencer started laughing.

"It won't. It only stretches during birth. Although.... Some woman do tear or need an episiotomy."

"A what now?"

"Sometimes the doctor has to make a small cut in order to help the baby get out easier."

"NO ONE IS CUTTING MY VAJAYJAY."

"Relax Y/N.... It's a standard procedure. It's done all the time. You'd be back to normal within a few weeks. Women have a large amount of elasticity down there. You'll be fine."

"You don't know that! What if something goes wrong..... What if no one wants to have sex with me because it's huge.... Oh my god Spencer! You need to check it for me after.......I need to know if it feels the same afterwards or if she's ruined it. If YOUR child has ruined my fuck hole."

He was laughing hysterically now.

"It's not funny Reid.... I've got stretch marks, my tits are probably gonna end up saggy and droopy and no one's gonna want to fuck me because my vagina will be sooo baggy you can probably fit a watermelon in it.... It'll be like Dirty Dancing... 'I carried a watermelon'.. Yeah, in my fucking vagina! "

He was actually wiping away tears now so you walked over to him and whacked him with one of the couch cushions.

"Stop laughing..... This is a genuine concern. What if no one wants to bang me because my body is wrecked?"

He finally stopped laughing realising that as funny as what you were saying was, it was genuinely upsetting you.

"Y/N.....There will always be someone who thinks you're attractive regardless of the stretch marks or the shape of your breasts or the state of your vagina. Trust me."

"You can't say that. You don't know that."

He looked like he was going to say something else, his mouth opening and then closing quickly. Giving you a small smile he continued. "Go to bed Y/N. We've got a long day tomorrow."

He was right. You did.

One you were not looking forward to at all.