Blinded [One Direction] ✔

Chapter 35- To New York

*Louis' POV*

"And the night sky in which

the moon is full

and the stars shine their brightest

will be the one

to guide me"

The words escaped my lips as whispers, straying into the vacant air and occupying the blank melodies that emanated from the piano. It was difficult to make sense of the scratchy words inscribed carelessly into the journal's surface. Even so, my hands naturally maneuvered the instrument, the task coming as an instinct rather than anything else. The feeling of the pads of my fingers brushing over the cold keys was one I was accustomed to and failed to grow tired of.

It was the same song I had been working on for the past several weeks, yet I couldn't bring myself to share it with the rest of the band just yet. I'd repeatedly decline when asked to take a trip to the recording studio or when offered a game of football and although I knew that I was letting my fans and my friends down, I couldn't deny that I was emotionally dead. It wasn't a vacancy--more like a burning hole in the pit of my stomach, gradually spreading and eating up my insides until I became what I wished I was from the very start: just another soulless body.

It was yet another hole; another to accompany the one already eating away where my heart once was. And only recently did I realize that this wound wasn't created when Charlotte departed from my life--no, this one had been there all along. Before, it was just numb, unfeeling, and it had been ignited the day I met the mysterious brunette whom I could only describe as captivating at the time. And I later discovered that she was more than that. It didn't take a fool to recognize her beauty, from her hazel eyes to her auburn hair, she was quite easy on the eyes. But who she was inside was the true allure. She had me hooked, reeled me in closer and closer and I was the only one to blame for not realizing how I felt.

I knew that I shouldn't have been thinking about her. Not then. Not when we were on our worldwide tour and not only months after Eleanor had ended the engagement. I knew that I shouldn't have traveled to Australia on our week-long break, but who could blame me? It was my fault for letting her slip from my unknowing fingers and It was my fault that she was missing. The least I could do was try to look for her.

Countless nights I'd wake up in a sweat, my mind taunting me with dreams of reuniting with the one person who made me feel as if nothing was missing. Even with the hectic life I was living, around her, I felt at peace; anchored to the ground when the wind only tried to snatch me away.

And I'd find myself sitting up in bed, my head held in my hands as it'd shake side to side in regret. One morning, it became so unbearable that I had picked up my phone and dialed a number I knew by heart. It rang only for two bells before she picked up.

"Louis?" It was fair to say that Eleanor had been shocked, but so was I. I debated on how horrible it would have been if I hung up right then, and decided It wasn't the best idea.

"Hey Eleanor," I had said, in vain hope that my voice didn't sound as shaky and weak as I thought it did.

For a while all that could be heard through the speaker was the sound of her breathing.

Just a week after the engagement party, Eleanor sat down with me for a talk. She said it wasn't going to work. By that time, we were all aware that Charlotte had left. No one knew where she went or why she left, but all of us knew. And it impacted some of us in different ways than others.

"How are you?" She finally asked when she realized I wasn't going to say anything.

"I'm..." Pathetic. Useless. Idiotic. "Good. I'm good. How about yourself?"