Always (Seailey + Gati )

The Same.

.B a i l e y.

"Gabe," I start, trying not to smile, "that was..."

"No please!" He pleads desperately, "let me try again!"

He grabs my face and smashes it against his, pressing our lips together in what I assume is a passionate kiss. He moves his lips furiously against mine, eyes wired shut. Brow knitted together in concentration like if he tries hard enough he'll make it work.

And I lose it.

I break down laughing, the sounds smothered by his lips on mine. The kiss turns sloppy and he growls in frustration, leaning further and further into the kiss, trying to get me to be quiet and focus. I feel myself losing balance, not sure whether or not I should hold on to Gabe or try to catch myself.

"Gabe wait," I gasp against his lips and lose my balance, toppling over and landing on my back. Gabe falls on top of me with a 'oomph'. He gives me a serious look and I cover my mouth trying to hide the next wave of giggles bubbling out of my chest.

"Shhhhh," he says angrily, "Kiss me Bailey. This is serious."

I snort grossly from behind my hands and he rolls his eyes. He waits patiently, while I fight for calm, hovering directly above me.

Finally, my laughter subside. He eyes me dramatically and I try not to break down again. Fingers tips slide their way down my side and grip my hip. He leans in for another kiss. Slowly pressing our lips together, we finally get into a comfortable rhythm. No reason to keep going and no reason to stop, the kiss goes on with no direction. When he pulls away he looks at me carefully, waiting for a reaction.

I scrunch my face and shake my head.

"This is gross"

He sighs sadly and lowers himself so that his body is covering mine. I pat his back comfortingly, trying to ignore his almost crushing weight.

"It wasn't a bad kiss though!" I try awkwardly, "It was really good. You have really soft lips...."

I cringe at the comment and try to continue, "It was just kind of like making out my brother."

"It wasn't THAT bad," he groans and I laugh.

"Okay fine. Maybe not my brother, but there's wasn't that..." I trail off trying to find the right word without sounding cliche, "spark?"

It's kind of like this. I can kiss him. No problem. I could choose to love him. We'd be the perfect couple never fighting or getting jealous, but always feel empty; like we're going through the motions.

And then there would that ever-nagging crippling guilt of knowing that Tati is in love with Gabe that would surface almost constantly and probably eat away at me till I finally break and disappear into the night; leaving nothing but a note for my husband and kids detailing the emotional turmoil I've had to live with.

I feel him nod his head up and down against my shoulder,bringing me out of my head, and I gently push him off. Because I realize it's kind of awkward for him to be laying on top of me.

And he's heavy.

He rolls onto his back and lay next to me in the cave, staring at the ceiling.