Coffee Stains - Tronnor

Only Fools

"Troye?" Connor's voice echoes through my room as he stands at my doorway, leaning against the door.

"You got a minute?"

"Yeah," I reply, sitting down on to my bed, raising my hand to beckon him to come sit next to me.

He slowly closes the door, making an effort to lessen the sound of the door closing. Then he walks towards me, each step getting larger as he moves.

"What's up Con?" I ask as he sits, the sun hitting his chest, illuminating his body.

"I'm scared," He sadly says, his lip quivering.

"What of? Con? Are you okay?," I say, my arms moving slowly towards him as tears rise in his eyes.

"Of Sam. He's getting really possessive", A choked sob escapes from his throat.

I don't know what to say, how to comfort him.

"Connor, what is going on?," I need answers from him, some sign that he is okay. I hate that Sammy hurts him, makes him run himself down like this. Connor is seriously the most perfect person, he is my Connor and whenever someone hurts him..

"He's scaring me Tro", his head falls on to my chest as he speaks, more tears falling from his eyes. " He won't let me hang out with anyone anymore. He nearly bit my head off the other night because I sat next to you on the plane. He, he, h- ,"

"He what Connor?," I spit out, I can't take this silence anymore, this insecurity erupting from within him.

"He hit me," Connor blurts out before bursting into tears, loud sobs erupting from his throat.

I can't even believe that someone would hurt Connor, my Connor. Just the thought of a hand raising above him, torturing him before laying upon his skin sickens me, truly disgusts me. And I ignored him, his wailing. I expected harsh words to be the cause of his wailing, his pain though I ignored the truth. I ignored him whispering my name behind the wall, asking for help. I ignored his plea for help, I left him to suffer for the night, something he has never done to me. I feel disgusted.

"Con, I'm sorry, I should've been there. I should've been there to help you, to hold you damn. God, fuck, I love you and shit I'm such a dick", Tears fall quickly down my face as I squeeze him tighter. His tears are falling faster as his arms squeeze my waist tighter.

"Help me, please," He pleas to me, soaking me with tears.

"I will, Con, I will," I say into his hair, leaving small kisses upon his head. It was something he used to do to me when I couldn't sleep, when I would cry. Simply place small kisses upon my head to soothe me.

"He's on the panel tomorrow, Troye"

"We're just going to have to pretend we are happy, that everything is fine. Just for a day,"

"I've had enough of pretending."

" I know,"

"I will have to pretend to be with him for the rest of the trip, most fans came to see us, we have to act happy, for them at least," He says, pulling himself away from me. He stares at the ground, his eyes clouded over, filled with tears. Small tears are wetting his skin, his face, my shirt,

"Everything will go back to normal when we get back home, Con," I try my best to comfort him, to make him feel better in these times.

"Can I sleep in here with you for the rest of the trip?" He asks, his eyes looking straight into mine.

"Not if it means that he hurts you again," I say as a tear slides down my face, trailing down to the floor.

"Okay," He says though I can tell he is anything but fine with the idea of having to spend nights with Sam. I don't want to leave him alone, though I don't want him to get hurt anymore.

"You message me, at night when you can't sleep and you need me, message me,"

"I need you all the time though Troye,"

"Then message me all the time" I smile at him, reaching up to wipe a tear from his face. " Now we better get going, we've got a meet up to attend".

"Together?." He says happily, a smile evident on his face.

"Together," I giggle back at him before we leave the room. Our happiness hidden within each other.

Together was a thing we shared together, a sign we would give the other person to let them know that we would always be with them, that we loved them, that we supported them. It's the safety word, the happy word and is simply the reason that Connor and I are happy with each other.

How I wish that boy was mine.

------------------------

He held his hand over top of the table, small squeezes being pushed every second. He was smiling more than he had in awhile, the light bringing the whiteness in his teeth to shine more brighter. I had never witnessed anything more beautiful than him. Everything was perfect, the lighting, the sound of voices mixing in the room, the loud cheers.

Though he wasn't happy with me.

It was Sammy and everything about him. At least that's what the camera saw, what the fans imagined, what everyone craved. The fake smile lay upon Connor's face was never mentioned by the cameras, never noticed by the faces of fans, never noticed by Sammy. They were oblivious to the pain that Connor had felt in order to be brave , to be someone they had wanted him to be. Even though I knew it was fake, every single smile, every moment of awe, I couldn't help but feel a massive strike of pain whenever Connor would stare at him.

They had whispered short 'I love you's' as they were afraid for the world to hear them, they way they looked at eachother had made the point very clear and all of a sudden I was completely lonely. The small stares lingering for a few seconds then they should've sent strikes of pain to shoot through my heart. They had messages on their phones proving that they had loved each other, silly little messages to be found. The fans eat it up, every bit of it. They love them, why wouldn't they? Cute gay couple was all they were though they didn't know what Sammy did to Connor, they don't know the whole story.

That we ignored him, that we left him to cry, that we ignored him as he called out our names through out the walls. That he whispered my name before he fell asleep.

The panel was talking about stupid things, rumours, gossip and every single dramatic moment that had happened in the youtube community. They had asked about Zoe and her relationships, what had happenned between Connor and Sammy and about Tyler's constant hair colour changes.

"So, Troye? Anything interesting happening in your life at the moment?'' A fan in the audience asked. She was small and spoke like she was very shy. This was why I loved communicating to fans, they made me feel happy.

"Well, I'm at a youtube convention,'' I begin to giggle with the crowd, happiness beign felt in every inch of my body. " But that's about it''

The girl sat back down just in time for another to stand up. This girl was tall, long brown hair flowing down to her knees. She was gorgeous, truly stunning.

"Any boy we should know about?' She spoke with a smirk, his eyes fixated on my body. It seemed as though she knew something though she couldn't. Nothing had happened in my love life at all recently.

"Well, there is this one boy,'' The crowd erupts into screams though I can feel Connor's gaze on me. I turn to look at him and see a genuine look of shock on his face. Though there is something in his eyes, a flash of hurt. He wouldn't be upset if I found someone. I'm probably overreacting, hoping he likes me just a little too much.

"He's perfect, perfect eyes. He is amazing. I'll introduce you to him one day, when he is actually mine,'' The crowd erupts into screams again, cooing over my red face. It's funny they never picked up a thing about Connor, no words seeming to draw to him. I don't even know if he knows.

That day was the longest day I've ever had in a while.