Coffee Stains - Tronnor

Home is just a room full of my safest sounds

Connor's P.O.V

My heart is hammering in my chest, every movement, every sound increasing my heart rate. I am standing outside of Sammy's door, small senses of pain running through my heart with every passing second. My hands were by my side, refusing to move, to reach up high enough to knock on his door. I could hear Troye in the kitchen, humming a soft tune and my heart yearned to just turn and walk over to him, to laugh with him instead of dealing with a depressed Sammy.

Though I had to do this, end this before he hurt me, consumed every single part of me once again. Slowly, I raised my hand to knock on the door. A sluggish groan can be heard through the wall.

"Yeah, come in,' A voice speaks as I slowly reach for the door and open it slowly.

And there he is. Sammy. The light filling his blue eyes, causing an electric sensation to run through my body. His hair is all messed up, bed hair sticking up in every direction. He looked handsome though the very thought of what he has done to me, ruins me completely.

"Hey," I smile at him shyly, raising my hand to play with the hairs on my neck.

"Hi," He returns the smile, his voice groggy, clearly he had just woken up.

"I just wanted to have a talk," I spit out, my voice becoming increasingly higher. I can't stop my hand from shaking, I'm so scared to hurt him or for him to hurt me.

"What about?' He asks nervously, his voice lingering in the air, sending shivers down my spine.

"Us,' I say shakily. His head snaps and faces in my direction, his eyes widening.

"Well?"

"It's not working out anymore Sammy" I trail off, looking down at the ground, trying to avoid his gaze.

"What do you mean? We're fine' He says in disbelief, a small laugh blending in with his voice.

"You know what I mean Sammy, you know what you've done," I say, my eyes looking directly into his.

"A small smack, Connor. I don't hurt you on purpose," he stammers out, his eyes growing wider with every word.

"Sammy, you're still hurting me," I shakily say, reaching out to touch his shoulders though he shifts away from my touch.

"That doesn't mean I don't love you," He says, tears springing up into his eyes.

"I don't love you anymore,"

And that's when Sammy lost it, tears spilling down his face.

"Connor, don't do this, please. You're all I've got. I have no one. Mum, Dad, my sisters, everyone. Connor, you're it. I never meant to hurt you, I never want to make you upset. Connor, I love you. More than I love anyone, more than I love myself. You make me nervous, make me so happy. I'm nothing without you. Please don't leave me Connor," He shakily spits out, his voice trembling.

I feel horrible though I can't handle this anymore.

"I can't do this anymore, this back and forth. You love me one day, cheat on me the next. There is always someone else Sammy, it's just not me. You don't make me happy anymore," I reach out to hug him, to touch him though it feels as though my arms can never reach him as he stares down at the ground, his vision blurred by tears.

"You know I never meant to hurt you, you know that's what they did to me before they left. You know Mum and Dad beat me up before I left. I promised I would never be like them but I don't know anything better. I'm sorry Connor. I don't know what I'll do without you,"

"You'll be fine, happier even. Letting go of me will allow you to let go of this abuse and move on," I smile, trying anything to make Sammy happy though nothing is working.

"Where am I supposed to go?," Sammy stammers, his eys growing wider.

"Find a friend, you'll be okay, I promise,"

"I don't have anyone," He says as tears run down his cheeks.

"We're not together anymore though that doesn't mean I'm not your friend," I smile, a small smile making it's way onto Sammy's face.

"I'm really sorry," He says, looking up at me.

"So am I," I say before leaning in to hug him.

"Connor, are you in love with someone else?" Sammy asks, his breath hitching in his throat.

"I'm not in love but I definitely feel something. I'm not leaving you for him though, I just need time for a while,"

"Do you think we will get back together one day?" He asks a small piece of hope finding it's way into his voice.

"I honestly don't think so Sammy, I don't want to hurt you again or lead you on," I shyly say, nervous to see his reaction though he seems okay.

"I'll be gone when we get home. I'll go find a place to stay, I don't know where but I will go," He says sadly, though his face still remains happy.

"Thank you," I smile before standing up from the bed.

"Hey, Connor?," Sammy says, looking up at me.

"Yeah?"

"Good luck with Troye," He smirks and I roll my eyes.

"Thanks," I giggle before leaving the room.

"So, how did that go?," Troye asks from the kitchen as I walk out of the room.

"Good, actually," I reply before walking over to Troye and giving him a hug.

"That's good," He says into my neck, his breath tickling my neck.

------------------------------------------

After breakfast, everyone lays around in the lounge, just giggling and talking like normal. Even Zoe is comfortable, chatting with everyone. She really is coming out of her shell.

Troye is pressed up against my side, his head resting on my shoulder as I play with his hair. We are just friendly, always have been though it's nice to have him back without having to worry about Sammy and his reaction. I feel free. Tyler and Zoe found out about Sammy and I early this morning. Sammy had been the one to spill the news over breakfast though no one really seemed too concerned or suprised about the break up.

"Connor, you may want to see this," Troye speaks up, passing his phone into my hands.

And that was when things went from bad to worse.

On his phone screen lay images, dozens of pictures enlarged to see the bruises that littered my neck, my arms, the places where Sammy had once hit me. There was hashtag spreading around twitter #Weloveyouconnor. Someone had posted dozens of pictures of my bruises and seemed to piece every single piece of what Sammy had done to me. They had heard the things he whispered to me at meet and greets, the insulting words to stay away from Troye. They had seen through our lie at panel, the fake happiness that we tried to create together, I should've known things would go wrong.

I needed to tweet them, to alert them that I was okay. To not hurt Sammy, they all would.

@ConnorFranta

Guys, it's all true but please don't hate on anyone, it's nobody's fault. I love you guys though I need my privacy in this tough time. Please bear with me, I'm sorry.

Just when I thought things were going okay.