Breaking Glass

(20) My Last Name

Chapter Twenty

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“She… she…” I paused and put my hand on my forehead, steadying my woozy head. “She’s my mother?” I asked in a wispy breath.

“Yes, she is your mother, Rose,” Thomas confirmed, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I took my hand off my head and let it drop to my side. I looked at Thomas and narrowed my eyes. “Nobody told me. Why?”

Thomas grimaced and looked down, taking his hand off my shoulder. “Your father… when he had an affair with Lydia, he thought nobody would know – until the she got pregnant, that is.”

I shook my head. “Why would he have an affair with Lydia?”

Thomas raised his eyebrows. “Well, firstly Rose, Lydia is a beautiful woman. Your father was tempted.”

Without even meaning to, I compared my real mother and my supposed mother in my head. I immediately understood why my father would do that, if he was so vain as to only care about looks – which he was…

“Do you understand now, my dear?” Thomas asked me.

“Yes, yes,” I said, nodding. “But, why didn’t he just let it be known that he had a child out of wedlock? He wasn’t mayor then.”

“Yes, but your father had been campaigning for mayor years before you were born. He knew that if the people knew he was such a hypocrite as to have an affair with a woman, and then not condone that in public,” Thomas explained.

“So he told Katherine and she went along with it?” I asked.

“Did you just call your mother Katherine?” Thomas asked with wide eyes.

“She’s not my mother,” I said bitterly.

“Your birth mother or not Rose, Miss Katherine raised you,” Thomas said.

“Don’t lie to yourself,” I muttered.

“She fed you and changed your cloths didn’t she?” he asked.

“Well, yes, but-“

“Then she is your mother, Rose.”

“But they lied to me!” I said, breaking eye contact with Thomas. I turned and put my head on my forehead again. This feeling must not be good for my baby.

I paused. Did I just think about the thing inside of me? It’s not that I didn’t want it – or her, or him – but this is the worst time! I’m not together with her father!

Once again, I stopped myself. I just determined the gender of my child. My hand was on my stomach, stroking it softly. I hadn’t even realized I had been doing that.

I must be going insane.

“Rose,” Thomas said. “It was for the best. They protected you.”

“How did they protect me? They lied to me, nothing else!” I yelled, turning to face Thomas.

He looked at me apprehensively for a second and spoke. “Rose, do you have any idea of what they do to children that were born out of wedlock?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“It’s not a law,” Thomas began, “but the townspeople despise them. If they get caught outside alone, something bad happens. Some have been kidnapped and killed. Some have been slaughtered at the scene,” Thomas told me in a flat voice.