She's The Bridegroom [COMPLETED]

8. Ruin

Chapter 8: Ruin

Pie Mindara Manaying

Monday was fast approaching and before I knew it, here I was; stuck in my car for the past ten minutes without having the courage to step out and faced the familiar environment of the school. If once I used to be a confident teacher, now I doubted that I could ever be one. Shame had dragged me down to my lowest self-esteem; all of sudden, I didn't even know how to carry myself as Pie Mindara anymore. I was just too afraid to face everyone after the unexpected white veil occasion. What would they say when all they have learned was, I was married to a woman without them knowing that I wasn't fond of that kind of relationship at all. It was a mistake but obviously, they wouldn't understand that. Thinking about this made my mind wandered back to Kimhan. I hadn't seen her much since the day of the funeral. It was not that Kimhan wasn't home. She was at home for the rest of the week but she never came out a bit ever since we came back from the graveyard. Right after I ran out from the car, Kimhan had managed to get me back into the car. As far as I'd remembered, she promised my Grandpa that she would look after me for him and there she returned the favour by running after me. Kimhan had an advantage of her being stronger without any difficulties; she heaved me up onto her shoulder and carried me back to our vehicle. Being defenceless I was, I couldn't protest neither stop her. We went home in awkward yet complete silence.

It was crystal clear that I was mad at her. How could she simply say that filing the divorce right away would solve my problem? Again, no one ever understood the deal that I have to endure because of my own clumsiness. Filing the divorce just after a few days of getting married wouldn't make any sense at all. Who have done that for God's sake? It was absurd; totally unacceptable to me for the reason that I was a woman with pride. What was Kimhan even thinking? Did she assume we were playing the house like children used to enjoy when they were young? Did she think our marriage was kind of fun where children used to argue about who would be the husband or wife in the family? Kimhan never really thought when she was about to make a decision. Again, how could I not put the blame on her too? She didn't use her brain before she made that wise judgement. Lack of common senses I could tell; Kimhan was utterly an immature person.

This; the marriage we have been set up was meant to 'save' me from being sent to the rural area which I had highly refused to go. It was not only that, this set up must have gone genuine like it was being built up with pure bases of trust, understanding and sickly said, love. Things have begun wrong but that didn't mean we couldn't go on with the exact planning. Kimhan was just too selfish in the case; she forgot that her role was not yet completely done in this role play and most importantly, she didn't know what awaited me once I entered the school building. I sensed something unpleasant waiting for me and it was terribly awful as per my instinct.

The knock on my window startled me. Once I have got to calm myself, I saw Fern laughing her lungs out. Her hand clutched to her stomach while her other hand was covering the mouth for the outburst amusement. She did enjoy seeing me getting shocked. What a good best friend she was!

Fern made some hand gestures and pointed a finger to her wristwatch, informing me about the time. I glanced to my wristwatch just to figure out that the bell was about to ring. Wait no, I couldn't be late for my first day of coming back to school.

"You okay?" Fern asked me once I got out of the car and locked it. I only managed to answer her with a nod. God, why was I so nervous? Noticing my uncomfortable state, Fern's hand found its way to mine. I felt she squeezed gently and that was the moment I brought my gaze up to her. "It's going to be fine," She said, smiling at me with a slight look of encouragement.

"What if they couldn't accept me?" I frowned. As if Fern has been expecting me to say such thing to her, she shook her head quickly. It was meant to toss away my bad thought, I know. Only if she knew that it wasn't convincing at all; I was just too scared of something unexplainable.