20. All We Have is Each Other

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Mindara Manaying

We waited anxiously for longest minutes. All sorts of terrible thoughts came up to torment me. I could not stay still. One moment I was seated next to Kimhan who was fast asleep yet second later I found myself walking back and forth without any direction. I felt pity towards Kimhan. She was exhausted after a long day and right now, she needed to accompany me at the hospital. It was almost midnight and all of her energy must have been depleted by now.

I kept glancing at the closed door. Too bad there was no transparent glass which I could possibly peek through. My heart was dying to figure out what was happening inside there. How was Grandpa doing? Would he be fine? If previously I thought the emergency scene I watched on TV was too cliché, I might have a different perception about it by now. The nagging fear that overwhelmed me truly got to my nerve. I wished I could tell myself that I was just in a dream.

The locked door squeaked open in one swift move. A doctor garbed in his white coat appeared soon after. He was searching for anybody whom I presumed was me. I hurriedly made my way to him and my heartbeat quickened with the pace of my footsteps.

"Are you Mr. Manaying relatives?" He asked for a conformation.

"Yes, I'm her granddaughter." I assured him.

"He is quite stable now but he's still weak." He informed.

"He'll be fine, right?" It came out in desperation. The nagging fear overwhelmed me until it felt like it was difficult to breathe.

"We are doing the best for him. Keep praying." He told me and later excused himself. I was being informed that I could get in and see him for a while. He was still in intensive care. I saw tubes and wires here and there. His breathing was laboured even he had the ventilator for breathing aid. It pained me to watch him in such condition. He was once a healthy man despite his old age. I caused him to suffer like this. If only I could be wiser that night, Grandpa would not need to end up in this pitiful condition.

"Pie..." A soft tap on my shoulder surprised me. From the corner of my eye, I caught Kimhan's familiar figure. Finally she was wide awake and found her way here.

"Maybe we should go home so you can have a rest." She suggested. "We can come again in the morning."

I kept my eye on Grandpa who still unconscious. How I wished he could get up and talk to me again as if nothing had happened. Nevertheless I knew that it was nearly impossible to hope for that sudden miracle. He was put to sleep and was not going to be conscious any time sooner. I could spend my entire time to look after him but my body was not able to work that way. Just like Kimhan, I was physically exhausted too. It has been a long day; a long dreadful day.

"Okay..."

"Let's go."

***

It was moonless night and the pouring rain made the darkness even more saturated. Nobody said anything ever since we left the hospital. Once in a while, I heard Kimhan sighed but when I listened to it carefully she was actually yawning. I breathed deeply, trying to relax. My body was feeling numb.

"Be careful." I reminded her. Flashes of lightning lit up the darkened sky followed by cracks of thunder as though in reply. The trees bent precariously to one side as though they were going to fall over. My heart palpitated wildly as if something bad was going to happen. I hate this feeling.

Kimhan drove the car cautiously, focusing better on the road as per my request. Silence enveloped us all over again yet this time I was not feeling that alone because both of us were much livelier than previously. The car was moving at a steady speed when I sensed something has gone wrong on our way. The heavy downpour made it harder for me to confirm.

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