Love And Sarcasm [Currently Editing]

20. | new justin

justin | audrey

『3:12pm』

•••

"That's it! I officially hate school!"

"Whoa, come down petal."

"I can't calm down! High school is the pits and I hate it!"

"Okay, give it to me, what's wrong?"

"Amber is being a real bitch and she overstepped the line when she humiliated me in front of the whole school! I mean, how dare she trip me with her too high high heels and proceed to spill spaghetti sauce all over my favorite new shirt! Letting me become the laughing stock of the school? I don't know what I did to ever deserve her hate. The only time I remotely did anything to her was when her latest conquest left her to ask me out on a date which I refused by the way because I don't like leftovers. She just tarnished my good girl reputation because I went ahead and called her a bitch and then slapped her like one. If Amber continues to make my life hell I swear I will wring her neck!"

"You done?"

". . .Yes."

"Amber is a bitch."

"I know!"

"Don't worry petal. Karma will deal with her."

"I doubt that."

"Don't be so sure sweetheart, maybe she'll trip on her face swallowing her own teeth over her too high high heels, or miraculously contract rabies or even get disgusting boils all over her skin, you know the ones that have pus in it."

[Audrey scrunches her nose in disgust at Justin's words and can't help but laugh out loud.]

"Ewww, that is so gross. . ."

[Justin laughs along with her.]

"Don't doubt Karma babe."

"That was also weirdly specific, do you have something that you need to tell me Justin?"

". . . Wouldn't you like to know. . ."

"Wow. . .just wow. . ."

"---Are you feeling better now?"

"Much, thank you for listening to me rant and for cheering me up."

"Its what superheroes and friends are for."

"We friends now?"

"Yep, I just promoted myself to the friendship level and there is nothing you can do about it."

"Whatever you say Justin."

"You're not going to object with your questionable sarcastic humor?"

"Not in the mood and my sarcastic humor isn't questionable."

"Superman can help you feel better."

"What happened to Funny man?"

"He retired."

"You're always trying to cheer me up on my bad days why?"

"Do I need to buy you a hearing aid petal? I said I care for my friends."

"Since we are friends don't expect me to tone down my insults."

"I wasn't counting on it."

"Good."

"Great."

"Fantastic."

"Sublime."

"Wonderful."

"Awesome."

". . .Thanks."

"For what?"

"For cheering me up doofus!"

"You already thanked me and I said you're welcome. . .are you sure you don't need a hearing aid petal?"

"I hate you."

"Sure you do."

"Just accept my thanks again idiot."

". . . Fine, Batman is always willing to help his citizens of Gotham City."

". . ."

". . ."

"You're something else Justin."

"The good kind I believe?"

"You think so highly of yourself."

"It's good for the soul."

"You're crazy."

"Only for you babe."

"Gag me with a spoon."

"I'll gag you with my mouth."

"What the hell are y-- Justin!"

"What?"

"Who are you and why would you say something so disgusting?"

"The Justin that has yet to be unleashed and it's in my blood."

"Well your blood must be dirty."

"Will you play doctor and clean it for me?"

"I don't like this Justin."

"Well get used to him."

"I don't think I can."

"Not my problem sweetheart."

"Go to hell."

"You're coming with me."

"You just reminded me why you're an asshole."

"Glad to be of assistance petal."

"I'm hanging up."

"Still waiting."

"I want the old Justin back."

"I thought you were hanging up."

"We aren't friends anymore."

"I don't think that's your decision I'm the one who promoted myself."

"You're fired."

"I want my lawyer."

"The state will get them for you."

"I think I can afford my own."

"Fine then I'll see you in court."

"Sure sweetheart, I'll see you in court."

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ɴᴇᴡ ᴇᴅɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ

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