Love And Sarcasm [Currently Editing]

1. | prank calls

justin lakes | audrey piper

╔══════
3:45 pm
══════╝

~Incoming call - Unknown~

ʚ answer | decline ɞ

【decline】

╔══════
3:47 pm
══════╝

~Incoming call - Unknown ~

ʚ answer | decline ɞ

【decline】

╔══════
3:50 pm
══════╝

~Incoming call - Unknown ~

ʚ answer | decline ɞ

【answer】

•••

"Who are you and what the fuck do you want with me?"

"Hi, this is Amanda from Pizza Hut, I called to ask which date you would prefer to pay your two months overdue thousand dollar debt between the 5th and the 10th?"

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"I will repeat myself, I said that we are Secret World and Adult Toys, you and your girlfriend called us last week to ask about the availability of size large condoms I regret to inform you that we are only left with size extra small, I hope that's still okay, your girlfriend confirmed that, that size would still fit you and--"

"What the fu-- is this a prank call? Stop prank calling me bitch. I'm not in the mood of that shit."

"This isn't a prank call sir, as I was saying we don't tolerate curses in our facilities so I'm afraid you have to adopt a brain-to-mouth filter if you still want to attend our ballet classes, just like our motto says, a ballerina's grace doesn't only come from posture but from--"

"--Fuck off"

*Dial tone*

╔══════
5:54 pm
══════╝

~Incoming call- Unknown~

ʚ answer | decline ɞ

【answer】

•••

"What?!"

"Hello my name is Amanda. I believe we were disconnected?"

"I hung up on you!"

"Well that was quite rude of you, we were discussing something important sir"

"STOP CALLING ME SIR!"

"Say that a bit louder, Canada didn't quite hear you."

"Sarcastic bitches are like nails to a chalkboard to me."

"Lucky for you, I am not one of them, back to our topic if you don't want me to call you sir would you rather prefer ma'am?"

"Call me that and I'll--"

"And you'll what? Shout at me through the phone? You already did that ... ma'am."

"You little bitch, I'll-- ... you annoying little brat, you stupid little girl--"

"---I can google the urban dictionary if you're running out of words to describe me"

"You little--"

"--Call me whatever you want ma'am, you can't do anything to me."

"Don't call me ma'am. I'm a man."

"Judged by your squeaky voice, one might doubt."

"My voice is not squeaky! Wait-- I don't have to prove myself to you. I'm leaving this conversation because I can tell you are an infuriating person, even if I don't know you."

" Its one of my best traits ma'am"

"Call me that one more time"

"You'll what ... Hang up?"

"Yes."

"Let me help with that."

*Dial tone*

┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┴┬┴┬┴┬

ɴᴇᴡ ᴇᴅɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ

┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┴┬┴┬┴┬