Deaf Wish

Chapter 30

"So, what do you want to do?",he comes towards me, a steady smile keeping his lips tugged up. "I-I don't know. Let's just start by getting you something to wear.", I turn away from him, feeling my cheeks burn up. I don't understand, he's a guy! I shouldn't react like this, not in a situation like this and not with him.

Two arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to the warm chest behind me. "Nathan I-", he interrupts me, as he rested his head against my shoulder, his hand clenching the material of the shirt I was wearing. My heart was beating ridiculously fast. Why is he doing this? He knows... he did say he wanted to help me, but does that even count? Did he kiss me because he wanted to get me used to other people? That couldn't be, I mean...

He let's go turning me aroundto face him. His smile has vanished instead, a worried and nervous expression had taken over, making me feel slightly irritated. "Sky, we need to talk. About yesterday and bout everything else.", I swallow at his words, knowing that he's right, but too afraid to admit it. I simply nod, wanting him to take the first step in this conversation.

"What are you feeling, Sky?", he asked, his eyebrows furrowed like he was trying to see something far away. What DO I feel? "I don't know?", I whisper. I know he won't be satisfied with that answer, but it's the truth, I don't know what's going on inside my mind, or my body in general. "This is important. Well, to me it is. Are you gay?", I looked up at him with big eyes, heart beating painfully fast. "I don't know.", I whisper yet again. Maybe I should just tell him how I feel, he probably knows more about it than I do.

"Are you?", I ask, not quite daring to keep eye contact. "Yeah, that's why I'm asking you. Over the last few days, I grew more and more into liking you, but I was never sure if I'd even have a chance you know. At the party, when you kissed me, I was so happy, I can't even begin to say it in words. But when you ran away, I knew it was a mistake, because it just couldn't be possible, I mean, for you to be gay as well.", he ran a hand through his hair, he looked hurt.

"Uhm, I don't know what this is, but... uhm whenever you're near me, I feel very weird, like happy, but also scared and confused. I shared so much of my life with you and I don't even know why. I don't know why I wanted to tell you about my past, I never even want to talk about it with my family, but you were different.", the palms of my hands rub against each other, everything I say is embarrassing. "What do you mean with different?", a small smile smoothed out his facial expression.

"I don't know, it's just that I never felt anything like it before. You never did anything like they did and you were always by my side, even when I fainted, you din't leave me behind. And... I don't know.", his arms wrap around me as I finished my answer, pulling me into a tight embrace. He felt right.

"I want you to take your time, okay? Don't rush it, I'll wait until you get things sorted out.", he said after he broke the hug, flashing me a reassuring grin, before ruffling through my hair. I nod, smiling at him slightly, happy about what he had said. I feel like he understands me, that he knows how uncertain everything is for me.

"Thank you.", I whisper, not able to say more than these two words. "Let's get us some food, I'm starving.", he walks backwards towards the door, "How about you?" I simply nod, laughing as I come after him, both of us running down the stairs like crazy. Laughing as we enter the kitchen, looking at each other with different eyes than before. At least that goes for me.

We cooked together, or let's say I cooked. He wasn't lying when he said he couldn't cook, he really can't. So must of the time his only task was to show me where everything was. Oh, and not to forget, he helped me carry the different plates and bowls over to the living room, since that's where we were going to eat. I cut up some fruit and veggies and also made some pancakes and scrambled eggs, really not that big of a deal, but he was pretty amazed. No idea why.

His living room was quite big, just like ours, with a huge black leather sofa and white coffee table. The TV was huge and was hanging in between shelves full of DVDs. A lot of them, to be more accurate. While eating, I looked through them a little, a lot of them, I never even heard of and some seemed really interesting. Nathan must have caught me staring at them, because he got up and searched for a particular one. He turned back, a movie in his hands and a smirk on his face.

"World War Z.", I read as he held it towards me, "A zombie movie?" I wasn't sure about it, since I don't really like scary things. "Yeah, but it's not scary, it's more funny actually. But you can look through the shelves if you find anything you like. Or is it even okay for you to watch a movie?", he sat down beside me, placing the case in my lap. "No it's fine, I'm used to reading subtitles."

I read through the description and to be honest, it seemed interesting, not like your average dumb nobrainer zombie movie, it had an idea behind it, so I agreed to watch it. He helped me clean up the mess in the kitchen, before we headed upstairs to change into something more comfortable. Fortunately, I brought some sweatpants and a light sweater, putting both of them on and even Nathan finally decided to put on some real clothes. Under some protest that it.

We hurried back down, almost jumping on the couch as we started the movie he had already set up. The beginning really wasn't that bad, but as it got more and more into the story, I actually started to freak out a little. Like, when they were in that city with the huge walls, I almost screamed when these things climbed over it. Nathan pulled me closer to him, putting an arm around me and grinning sheepishly at my reactions.

As the movie was almost over and my heart started to slow down a little, Nathan suddenly thrashed around staring over his shoulder. Not only did I freak out at his sudden movement, but also at the woman that stood at the door of the darkened living room, smiling over at us. "Oh, I didn't know you would invite a friend over so quick, you really know how to get used to a new place. Uhm, why are you guys watching a muted movie with subtitles?", his mother came closer, as she watched us. It was muted? I didn't know that. Looking up at Nathan, I see him glaring daggers at his mom.

"You didn't have to mute it, you know?", I say, smiling at his flustered expression. "I just...", he didn't even try to talk himself out of it, instead he sat up. Technically I was sitting up as well, since I was laying half over his chest. "Well, anyway, I won't be here for long, I was just going to get some stuff I forgot, so I'll leave you guys at it.", with a playful wink, in my direction she got up and left us. Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose, before turning back to me, still looking a little embarrassed there (just saying). "So, do you want to watch another movie, this time I'll even let you decide." I simply nod, getting up from my comfortable spot next to him and went through the hundreds of different cases.