Blood

22

I screamed and I kicked and I tried to get free, but Louis and Niall pushed me hard down against the ground and I couldn't do anything. I saw in the fog when Liam came out from Anders house. He drew the blood from his lips with his hand and he smiled at me cold. I screamed anyway, even though I knew it was over. Liam came up to us and he stood right in front of me.

"You aren't above the law!" he hissed cold. "The law makes us all equal, and then it doesn't matter where you are in our ranks."

I was crying and I didn't know what I would do. He walked away and when he was at a safe distance, they released me. I was left alone and I tried to think. I looked away towards Anders house. I had wanted more of him than this. Slowly I got up on my legs and I staggered toward his house. I knew what was waiting for me and I knew it wouldn't be a pretty sight. 

I opened the door and I saw him directly. He lay dead in the middle of the floor and there wasn't much blood left. I fell down on my knees and I was shaking all over. The only link I had to reality was now gone. I felt only emptiness and I realized how wrong it all was.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and I saw one of the slaves. She smiled gently at me.

"He loved you." she whispered hoarsely. "We know how much you cared about him.

I swallowed. I didn't have those feelings for him, but I still had so many emotions that I missed him. I looked at the dead body again. A few hours ago, he had been so alive, now it was just an empty shell remains.

"We bury him." she continued hoarsely to me. "I know that he has come to a better place."

I don't know why I sat there. The slaves took away the body and buried him. In the matter of hours were all traces of Anders totally gone. The only thing that was left was his scent and small splashes of blood. I buried my face in my hands and I continued to cry. I had no idea that I could still feel so much at one time. It was as if I finally was normal and it was as if I was crying about everything that had happened from the beginning.

----

I lay in bed and I pulled the covers over my head. Niall had chosen to sleep in another room, and I was grateful for that. I hated him and I hated the others. I hated my life and I hated everything that was part of my life. Eleanor came in with a bottle and she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You can't just lie here?"

I snorted.

"What choice do I have?" I snapped cold. "I'm tired of being a vampire and why not die?"

She smiled a little bit.

"I'm sorry to say it, but if you fail to drink blood, we will have a bloodbath on the farm."

I snorted.

"You can tie me to the bed?"

She shook her head.

"When the urge comes, then not even that stop you."

I turned around and I looked up at her.

"How do you put up with this?"

She laughed a little bit and she blushed.

"You get used to it" she said kindly. "I guess I had no choice and now as I'm here, maybe it's good that I try?"

I snorted.

"We are vampires?"

She nodded.

"I know and I am fully aware of what it means." she put the bottle on the bedside table and she looked meaningfully at me. "We may not be the kindest creatures on this earth, but who are? We weren't kind to everyone before and many times we hated others so much that we wished they were dead."

I sighed and I sat up.

"But we didn't kill?"

She smiled.

"No, but is there a difference?"

I disagreed with her. Eleanor continued.

"There are killers, there are those who exploit others, and then there is us. I think it's better to be us, because people don't know that we exist."

I took the bottle and I knew I would still drink it. I nodded a little bit.

"But we are the worst?"

She laughed.

"No, we aren't the worst. We wont let anyone suffer, and we do the job quickly."

I drank it all in the bottle, put it on the bedside table and then I crawled back down.

"But I will still stay here."

She didn't chose to argue. She took the bottle and she left the room.

----

No, I didn't leave the bed. Eleanor and Perrie took turns to give me blood. I chose to just lie there and take place. I knew I couldn't stand behind up for our laws and I knew I regretted that I was a vampire. I should had been a slave, and I should have ended my life, hanging from the ceiling.

Yes, vampires can become depressed. I shut out the world and I chose to sink into myself. I chose to think through what I had done in my life and I went back as far as I could remember. I missed Simon and I missed my parents. I missed the feeling of being human, to wake up every morning and know that life went on. I had no idea how it felt to know that one day I would die and I lacked the sense of planning. I would have become a teacher, I had a whole life ahead of me and now I was lying in a bed, and knew that I would never die. I wouldn't get to experience what it was like to be older, to see the wrinkles come and feel the body give up. I wouldn't never again get to celebrate my birthday.