SHE'S NOT ME ( ASHTON IRWIN )

12. HE IS MY FRIEND

Dear Ashton,

You know what? I think I've pretty much gotten used to the dark haired boy who follows me around whenever he could, asking me all sorts of stuff like things I like to do and the sort. It's only been a few weeks since we met, but he's been pestering me so much that I've considered him part of my life now. I didn't think I'd grow attached to the 17 year old soccer player who does everything he could just so he could get my attention.

He's been asking me so much stuff about me, you know? And I may have answered all of his inquiries because I wanted him to just stop talking and stop annoying me, but I didn't think he'd remember any of them. He brought me some of my favorite candy the other day, and he gave it to me with such a big smile that it made my heart leap knowing he cared enough to remember what I liked. He also bought me a CD of my favorite band, which I may have mentioned a week ago when he asked, and it made me really happy receiving something from someone.

I didn't really think that I would grow that attached to him that I wondered where he was when he didn't wait for me outside my English class, like he always does. I thought that he might have been busy so he didn't have the time to pester me like he always did, so I just shrugged it off. When lunch time came, there was still no sign of him and I was beginning to feel a little lonely. I used to think that he was beyond annoying when he tried to talk to me while I was doing my homework, but I realized that I enjoyed his company so much that it didn't feel the same without him poking my sides with a huge smile on his face as I attempted to do my school work. It truly was lonely without anyone by my side, and I found myself missing the annoying guy who became a huge part of my everyday life within a short amount of time.

I soon grew worried - what if he got so annoyed by my attempts to push him away? What if he got tired of trying to chase after someone who didn't even want anything to do with him? What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore? The thoughts of these possibilities made my chest ache like it never did before. It was something I haven't experienced much when I was growing up, and I was sure that I never wanted to feel like that ever again.

The next day, he popped up out of nowhere after first period and tried talking to me casually, but I just straight up told him to get his Maori ass away from me if he was going to ignore me entirely for a day. He apologized profusely and told me that he was sick yesterday and couldn't even get out of bed, but he admitted that he really did want to see me despite knowing that he couldn't. He tried sneaking off to see me after school, but his sister caught him and demanded he stay in bed until the morning.

He smiled when he realized that I was silent after his explanation, then began to tease me about getting lonely without him. And I did something I never thought I would do - I agreed, out loud, and admitted that. I asked him if he was still willing to become my friend, but he just pulled me into his arms and embraced me tightly.

"We're already friends in my eyes."