The Only Drug I Want ( Patrick Stump / OC)

Trucks

"Patrick, sit down." Pete sighed, this was the most stressful night he'd had in recent years. "Pacing isn't going to help anything."

"I will not sit down. I will not sit down until they tell me that she's okay."  Patrick stopped his constant footsteps for a moment, only long enough to respond, before he went back to walking the length of the waiting room. He kept muttering things to himself, and he looked like a wreck. 

"She's going to be fine, Patrick." Andy tried to be reassuring, but his voice trembled and he knew he hadn't helped. "They'll fix her."

"You didn't see her. She wasn't moving. She was barely breathing." Patrick stopped once again, tears welling in his eyes. "I could've stopped her. I was the one watching her, I was supposed to make sure she didn't do something like this."

"It's not your fault." Meagan spoke for the first time since she'd heard the news. "It's probably my fault. I'm the one who kept taking her out to see people who just made fun of her." 

"It's all of our fault. She probably should've been hospitalized a long time ago. We were stupid and thought she would be fine if we just cared enough. But she's fucking sick, and no amount of compliments and love are going to fix that. This has been coming since before the tour. We just didn't want to see it." Pete's eyes were glued to the ground. He was more upset than he would like to show, but he was done sparing Patrick's feelings. Four hours in the waiting room with no news was too long to keep pretending. "And she's not okay, I'll tell you that now. If she was okay, we would've known by now. She's either going to die, or she's going to have serious medical conditions for the rest of her life."

"Don't say that." Patrick shook his head. "Don't say any of that. She's not sick, she's just a little bit confused, she's not sick. She's not crazy. And she's going to be fine. She's a fighter, she'll make it. She can make it through anything."

"It's called a mental illness for a reason. She is sick, stop denying it. She screams at things that aren't there and she constantly thinks someone said something to her when they didn't." Pete pushed himself up out of the chair, his hands balled into fists. "You were supposed to take care of her. You went to the fucking government so they would legally say it's your job. And you messed it up. Because now she's in the hospital, because she wants to die. She's done fighting. That's what this means. She's not going to be fighter anymore. She's done with you, she's done with all of us, she's done with the people in her head."

"You don't know her like I do. You don't know what she wants, you don't know why she did this. She doesn't want to die. She doesn't. She's been happier, or, at least, she was. It's just lately..." Patrick stopped himself, and shook his head. He was fighting a fight he would not win. And he knew it. "I could've saved her. But I didn't. I could've taken her to the hopital before we left, and they would've got her on the right medication,a dn everything would've been fine." A few tears fell from his eyes, sliding down his cheeks. He hated himself in that moment.

"If she dies, it's on you." Pete hissed through clenched teeth, too angry to be comforting. "We all care about her. You fucked up. If she'd gone, it's your fault." 

"Hey! It's not Patrick's fault." Andy had stood up himself, and pulled Pete back a few steps. There didn't need to be anymore stress there. It was already bad enough, they didn't Pete starting shit, too. 

"I'm just saying what we all know." There was no sign of apology there. Not even a little. "It's the truth. I'm just the messenger."

"Get out of here, Pete." Joe put a (hopefully) calming arm around Patrick. "You're just making an ass out of yourself."

"Is there a Patrick Stump here?"

The room fell silent, and everyone turned to face the doctor who was standing in the room. 

"I'm Patrick." He took a step forward, looking at the doctor. He wanted good news, he just wanted good news. 

The doctor looked grim, and he glanced down at his clipboard for a long moment. "Are you all here for Eleanor?"

"Yes." Meagan had been the last to stand up, but now even she was on her feet. "We're all here for her."

"It's usually best in situations like this to sit down and take some deep breaths before hearing anything." That wasn't a good sign. "But it's good that you're all here, That makes things easier."

"We aren't sitting down. We've been waiting for too long. Just tell us how she is." Pete suddenly didn't look angry, but wore the same hopeful kind of fear that the rest of them did. 

The doctor looked to Patrick for approval, before starting to speak. "Eleanor is in bad condition, to say the least. When she came in, she had bleeding of the brain and a broken spine. I would say she's lucky to be alive, but we aren't sure how seriously the brain damage will affect her. We do believe the broken spinal cord will only leave her partially paralyzed from the waist down, she still will be able to move, but she will need the assistance of a wheelchair for sometime."

"She's... Her brain...? And paralyzed?" Patrick felt sick, and sad and gross.  "No, no, no, no. She has to be okay. She can't be that bad. It was just a truck, She can't be hurt that bad. She's Ellie. She never gets hurt."

"I'm so sorry." The doctor frowned. "She is still in surgery right now, for more minor things. Torn muscles and small fractures in her legs, but that's it. She should be done and awake in a few hours. Then we can fully assess her problems. It won't be until at least nine this morning that she'll be ready for visitors. I would go home and get some rest. Come back then, and you can see her."

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Ellie's POV

I'm dead.

That's what this is.

That;s why it's so dark, but I'm still thinking.

This is limbo or something.

This is my conscious without a physical body. Thats's what this has to be.

I'm finally free. I'm finally free of all those voices. all those things that I made up. They're gone./ They're not here anymore. It's just me, I'm finally alone. For the first time, I'm finally alone, I'm finally without other voices. It;s great.

I should've said goodbye  though. And I should've gotten that goodbye kiss. And I should've had him say he loved me one more time. One for the road. One before he moves on to a girl who actually deserves a great man like him. 

This is good, for everyone. He doesn't have tp worry about me anymore. I don't have tp have anymore pain. Everyone can be happy. Everyone can be happy without me. That's how it's supposed to be. Happy without me. 

Everything is better now.

Everything is finally good,.

I fixed it all. 

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I worked hard on this chapter, it took a bit of thought to get all of the wording the way I wanted, and it's still not perfect, but I think it works well enough. Please, feel free to comment. I only know how good I'm doing by your comments.