Can't Remember to Forget You

Chapter Forty-Four

Cassie

I walked down the streets of Broadway and basked in the familiarity of all of the many people bustling around from one place to another.

Two years ago I would have never seen myself back here, but now looking at it all and smelling the food from the vendor down the street, I can't see myself being anywhere else. I smiled as I ordered a hot dog and bag of chips from the nice man. I was feeling particularly giving since I had just finished up another great day of rehearsals, so I tipped him an extra $10 then walked back to the theater. Most of the other actors like to go to lunch at fancy places or just not eat at all. My favorite thing to do is to go grab something to eat from outside and then sit in the front row of the auditorium and eat my lunch staring up at the stage.

I was born for this.

How I ever tried to convince myself otherwise is beyond me.

A year ago I was still living at home.

Today I am waiting for my opening night as the leading lady in Broadway's newest show, 'Remember Me.'

I'm doing exactly what I have always dreamed of doing.

I can't wait to see everyone tonight. My sister, Kyle, and not so little anymore Danny will all be here for the opening night. Even Trix and Carl are coming, and of course Trevor.

I love that man for always standing by my side no matter what. Trevor is a good man, through and through. I'm so happy he was able to find love with someone else, and that we can still be friends.

After everything that had happened to me over the last few years, it had been nice to fall back into things with Trevor for a while. I wanted to love him fully, but I could never make him more than a distraction to me. He was loyal and kind, but he just wasn't the man I thought of everyday. It hurt my heart waking up in the mornings feeling a warm body lying next to mine, then turning over only to be disappointed to see Trevor instead of him. He was the only guy I could focus on. I couldn't even let myself think his name or the pain was still too much.

When Trevor had asked me to marry him, I had said yes only to call it off a month later. It just wouldn't have been the right thing to do to lead him along any longer if I couldn't give him all of my heart. We had ended things peacefully and a few weeks later he met Meg. He told me last night when we spoke that he is planning on proposing to her tonight after the show in Time Square.

After we had ended things I moved back out to New York and didn't waste a single second. Trix had offered her couch to me for as long as I may need it, and I had gone to auditions from morning until night, every day for months before finally I got this role. My career is finally taking off and tonight is just the beginning. Even though there is one other person I wish could be here tonight I pushed the thought out of my head.

I had been worried when I first moved back to New York. I had feared I would run into him someplace and that we would have some kind of awkward exchange. Luckily I had been being silly. New York is a big enough place not to need to worry about accidently bumping into someone.

A few months back I had broken down and took a taxi passed his place. As we passed by though I didn't see his bike. Only Troy's car was parked in the spot he usually used. I smiled at the memories that surfaced as I drove by and I promised myself to stop stalking him and show some restraint.

"Hey Cassie!" My friend Danielle called from the stage. "You ready to do this thing?" She asked enthusiastically pumping her fists into the air.

I threw both of my hands into the air and cheered. "You know I am ready!" I shouted back to her. "I have been waiting for this moment my whole freaking life!"

She laughed and danced around the stage. "I can't believe this is actually happening. We are opening tonight! Tomorrow the papers will have us in them!" She cheered.

"Hopefully with good reviews." I added.

"Cassie, you have the most beautiful voice. We are definitely rocking this tonight." She reassured me. I was only slightly nervous. "Have you seen it yet?" She asked dramatically.

"What?" I asked even though I knew full well what she meant. The new, giant, neon screen with my face on it. It's just been a coming soon teaser for weeks but it was finally revealed early this morning. There is something so scary about the idea of my face being plastered all over the place like that.

"You know what." She called my bluff. "Let's go see before we have to get back and get into make-up."

I threw away my trash and quickly followed her back out onto the streets.

It wasn't hard to find. It was ginormous. I had to admit I was happy with it. It was a great picture of me. The craziest part was seeing my own face up there next to the other boards with 'Rent', 'Hairspray', 'Wicked', and all of the other greats. It was extremely surreal.

Tonight, all of my dreams are coming true.