dear ana ❥ h.s.

doctors orders

I had another doctors appointment today, where I would get my results from before and hopefully fix whatever problems I was having. I had quickly come to the conclusion that it wasn't asthma the minute Dr. Arnold entered the room.

"Good morning, Ana." my doctor greets me, shutting the door behind him. He looked upset.

"Good morning?" I say questionably. "Is it a good morning or a bad one?"

"Has the option of being bad, I suppose." he answers, pulling up a chair and sitting in front of me.

"The results we got from your tests were... unexplainable. We can't see anything clearly, but there seems to be a mass on your lung."

A mass? As in a tumor, right? A mass would mean tumor. Which means I could die.

"A mass?" I murmur, furrowing my eyebrows. "That's a tumor."

"We're not sure of anything yet, Ana. That's why we're going to run more tests - blood tests, X-Rays, another MRI. We're going to get to the bottom of this." he explains, thumping the clipboard with his thumb.

"Am I going to die?" I enquire softly, eyes falling to my lap. What was I going to tell Harry?

"I can't answer that right now. But I'm going to do everything I can to ensure that you don't." he says, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Don't get any ideas, miss."

He ran multiple tests on me, took my blood, and sent me on my way. I was shaking the entire way home, death was certainly on my mind. I didn't want this to be real, Harry had already lost someone; I didn't want him to lose me too.

I went inside where he sat on the couch, smiling awkwardly at him. He was munching on a bowl of cereal and Harmony was on the ground begging endlessly. Salem just sat on the cushion, snoozing away. It was a picture perfect situation, one I wished I could perfectly insert myself into.

"Good morning." I finally say, voice broken from not speaking for a while.

"Good morning angel." he responds from the couch, looking towards me. "You look like you've seen a ghost, you alright?"

"Yeah, I, um, I just saw a really bad wreck on the way home." I answer, taking a deep breath. "What movie are you watching?"

"Endless love, wanna sit and watch with me?" he suggests, patting the spot beside him gently.

I smile softly, taking a seat beside him and pulling the blanket over my lap. I look at him quietly, leaning towards him and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. He wraps his arm around my shoulder lightly, allowing me to rest my head on his shoulder. 

I enjoyed days like this, where we just sat on the couch and did nothing. I could sleep on his shoulder, we would watch movies. It was one of my favorite things to do.

"Do you want to go to the cafe?" he asks suddenly, turning towards me. "I think you need some coffee."

"I think you're right." I mumble, closing my eyes and rolling my head on the back of the couch.

"Come on weirdo." he nags, standing from the couch and extending his arms to me.

"What if I don't want to go? Just because I need it doesn't mean I want it." I reply, raising an eyebrow. He was making me feel better than before.

"I see you're not moping anymore. Come on, let's go." he smiles, planting a kiss on my forehead before picking me up against my will and throwing me over his shoulder.

I groan in agony, holding onto him by the fabric of his shirt as he carries me outside.

"We can walk." He locks the door, setting me down on the ground.

"Man I swear I'm gonna fight you." I grumble, shoving his arm lightly.

"Do it. I bet I'd beat you." he smirks cockily, offering me his hand. I accept it, rolling my eyes.

"Maybe later." I mutter, walking down the sidewalk with him.

"I love living here. The weather is amazing." he whispers halfway through the walk, looking around at the trees and flowers.

"You're amazing." I reply, glancing up at him.

"As are you."

I lean up against his arm, walking in step with him and kicking pebbles.

"Have you ever thought about leaving?" I ask suddenly, tracing patterns over the back of his hand. "It's okay if you don't want to answer."

He's silent for a few moments, staring straight ahead as we walked.

"When Rina died, yes. I wanted to get as far away as possible." he finally answers, looking down at me. "I'm glad I didn't, though. Otherwise I wouldn't have met you."

He's silent for a few minutes, and for a moment I thought he was done speaking. But he wasn't, as he spoke.

"You saved me from ruining myself." he mutters, barely audible. "I was hurting so bad, I didn't know what to do anymore. I'm glad you came along."

I couldn't help but hurt with him, it was a horrendous feeling. God, I couldn't do this.

"You saved me, too." I finally whisper, leaning up to him and leaving a lingering kiss to his cheek.

We approach the cafe, walking into the cold establishment and taking our usual seats.

"The usuals?" Alex asks, walking off once we both nod.

"Do you want to go to Paris with me?" he breaks the silence, looking at me from across the table. I furrow my eyebrows, looking at him. Was he joking?

"Like literally?" I ask in disbelief. He had to be kidding.

"Like, literally." He nods. "We could go to the love lock bridge and leave a lock."

"How would we even get there?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh, I've been saving. Plus, it's funded by the art company. There's an art show over there, and I can bring a friend." he smiles.

"In that case, I would love to go to Paris with you."