Alone I'm Broken, But With You I'm Complete [ A Paul love and Imprint story]

Chapter 10 Maybe Just Maybe.

Chapter 10 Maybe Just Maybe.

I stood their frozen on the spot, not knowing what to stay. I didn't know what to stay? I just didn't. I wasn't ready to date. A specially since it's not really over. Not over at all. It will never be over. It will always hunt me. Just like everything else, it will never stop. Never stop until he's got me. I am mortified of him, ever finding me. Which is probably another reason. Why? I moved here. Since if you knew me, it would be the last place you'd expect me to be.

"Soooo? He asked. His eyes fixed on the ground not able to meet my eyes and getting more nervous by each second going by..

"Er, sorry I- I don't date" Now that's true. I don't date. But that doesn't mean, I don't want to. Sure I wanted to. But that doesn't mean I could. I just can't do it anymore. I can't cause myself anymore hurt. I just can't.

"That's fine" he answered trying to sound like it didn't matter to him. But he failed making me feel really uncomfortable. But it didn't make me feel guilty about it. No way! Because I was doing him a favour with not going on a date with him. So he didn't start to like me, but also so I didn't start to like him and show him the real me.

"I'm sorry" I said meaning it. Sorry by the fact that the circumstances were like this.

He shrugged. "How about as friends going out for dinner at six o'cock" he asked hopefully, but with a bit of doubt.

"Er, okay" I said not sure if I was making the right decision.

He grinned widely. But than it disappeared nearly as fast as it had come.

"So I'll see yah on Thursday" I said begging to shut the door wanting to go to bed, as well as wanting to be alone with all the guilt as well as the shame catching up with me.

"Oh, yeah sure" he said moving away from the door, and slowly making his way done the street.

After I had locked the door. I made my way towards the widow annoyinlg not able to help myself to have a peek. I could hear him whistling cheerfully, with his hands in his pockets. As I looked through the blinds I saw he was about to turn around the corner. But suddenly his head turned in my direction making me stupidly shut the blinds and move backwards in instinct.

I shook my head annoyed at my stupidly and went to bed hoping that maybe I'd be able to get some sleep for once.

Like that was ever going to happen.

…...

I couldn't fall asleep. No matter how much I tried. I just couldn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned, but no matter how hard I tried it just wouldn't happen. I just felt so out of place and every time I closed my eyes those images and memories just came coming back. My guilt and ashame just wouldn't give me a break. Even thou I wanted some sleep, it didn't mean I believed myself that I should get a break. I heard dad and Jake come nosily but obviously knew they were trying to be quite, coming back about an hour or so after me.

As I looked over at my old bedside cabinet, where the picture leaned on top of it. It was one of the rare pictures that my mother was in, with me, Becky an even Jake and dad were in it. I remembered it like it was yesterday, we were about six and it was Christmas day. We were all sitting in front of the battered, cheep, Christmas tree with presents at our feet. It was one of the best memories I had of her. Probably since it was one of my most happiest and carefree memories. With those memories I fell off to sleep. But of coarse, like it always does when I'm here it became you know…..

…...

It was Thursday at five o'clock. The days had gone much slower than it's usual slow. Which you can believe me, is in incredibly slow. So slow! Since we were friends just going for dinner. I decided casual would be fine so I put on my all favourite black demin jacket to keep me warm, in case it was cold like it'll properly be and kept everything else I was wearing the same. I left my hair down and brushed it again. Then I put a bit of mascara on with out looking in any mirror[ I had become a pro at doing this, never wanting to see her looking back at me], like I would when I used to go out with my friends.

When I was ready, I made my way to wards the kitchen. For once I actually had a small smile on because of my own free will since it wasn't a fake. I stopped just outside the door since I was hearing a heated discussion between dad and Jake. I'm not usualy so noise, but I kept hearing my name repeated. Which made me curious. Why? What did I have to do with aything?

"Jacob you can not tell Rachel" dad said with one of the most stern voice I had ever heard him use.

"I have to dad, she's Rachel," he said sounding really upset. Which was telling me what ever the secret was, it was a big and had a very big affect on Jacob.

"Jacob you can not tell her, she'll know soon enough" he said trying to comfort him, it sounded he was also trying to comfort himself as well.

"She's changed dad , haven't you noticed she's more conscious of everything and insecure, it's like she scared of something " he said wining and worry in his voice.

"I know, I know she'll tell us when she's ready." he said sounding unsure.

Jacob than suddenly added more cheerfully. "Maybe Paul will help her out, Maybe"

Dad mumbled his agree sadly "Maybe just maybe"

Paul help me with my problems. Like I'd ever tell him. Like I'd ever tell anyone. The only person I'd properly tell are Leah and Jake. Yet I never tell they'll, since I don't want to worry them or get them hurt, or just plainly involved.

A big loud knock echoed through the little house. The annoying sound of chairs scratching on the ground, alerted me that they were coming this way witch made me practically run to the door so that they didn't know that I had been ears dropping.

Paul was leaning against the wall, when I opened the door. He straightened up when he saw me and smiled. He was wearing his jean shorts that came up to his knee's, for once he had a t shirt on. It was a dark stormy blue colour.

"Hey, you ready to go" he asked grinning.

I nodded. "Guys I'm going, see yah later" I shouted.

...

Next chapter is the date opps sorry I meant friends hanging out. Or is it pratically a date, but she just won't admit it. Thanks for reading. I tried to update as soon as I could. I promise I'll update soon next time. Also I'm sorry for any spelling or vocabulary mistakes. Please, please review.