"Castiel," the small angel whispered quietly. It was a cold night, and the sky was just beginning to return to that vibrant blue color. The two angels stood, almost silent, outside of the small bustling town. The taller angel with dark hair and blue eyes that just seemed to get bluer as the days rolled away was stiff, as usual. The small girl was an older angel, Samyrah, the Principality. While Castiel's position in heaven had been elevated, she was still many years his superior.
Unblinking hazel eyes stared at the taller man as she spoke. "We've already discussed the deal. You told me you would inform me of your decision by today. The dawn is fast approaching, Castiel. I won't offer you this again. It is tricky, after all. Even if he's gone, God doesn't like angels playing his role."
"I understand your concerns Samyrah..."
"Sam is fine."
"Yes, Sam." He tried not to show a reaction at the familiar name. It was painful to hear it now, and even more so to speak it. "This is not an easy decision for me to make, you must know," the male angel said gruffly. He stared longingly at the house where that man lived. That man he knew was so different, whose path was surely connected to his own. But that man could not be his. Especially if he went through with the tiny girl's deal.
"Come on, I'm no demon. I won't try to trick you," she assured him. Castiel flinched as the girl reached out a hand to comfort him. "Heh, still so human even with your grace all bright and shiny again," she scoffed. She'd never much cared for the young, emotional angel, even when he had been more stoic and unapproachable. Castiel was like a child to her. She didn't believe, no matter how much proof could be shown, that his existence was an important one.
Another angel suddenly appeared behind the quiet pair. The new angel's blue-gray eyes flickered against the light of the sun, just beginning to rise up from it's sleep.
"Yahtzee!" Samyrah cheered, rushing back to the stocky man. He took her up in his arms and placed her on one of his broad shoulders so she could sit. This angel was a Power, and Sam's partner. Castiel knew to tread cautiously with this one. He was dangerous when Samyrah was involved.
"Yaazaniah." Castiel recalled the body-builder-like angel's name. "I didn't expect you to show."
"Samyrah calls and I listen," he responded simply, baritone voice cutting the silent air. Sam leaned to the side and patted the tall man's head.
"Castiel, you have yet to tell me your decision. My patience wears thin and I will not be offering this again," she said, serious once more.
The angel gulped. He felt so suddenly powerless and small. Even with the offer to make Dean happy again (with the only way the angel knew how) the sacrifice he would make in exchange was no small thing. Castiel had always been drawn to that human man. Call it love, call it affection, or call it mere curiosity, Cas knew he cared for Dean. He would ask the angels now in charge for the position of Guardian, if that didn't mean he could only watch Dean and never speak to him again. All that human business was tricky, so tricky.
"Castiel!" Samyrah repeated sharply. Cas stood at attention again. "Your decision?"
After all, not remembering him would make life easier. He would go on with his life, take care of the things he needed. It would change no other relationships he had. It would make no difference in Dean's life if he forgot Castiel. The memories would be replaced with other explanations for what happened when Castiel was there. There would be no need for the angel to even come up again, because Dean would have Sam again. Dean would get his brother back. Castiel thought so much of... He cared...believed in...
Castiel loved Dean so much that he would give his entire existence up to make him happy again.
"I accept, Samyrah," he said.
"I told you already. You can call me Sam."
"No," the angel said, shaking his head, "It's Samyrah to me."
This sudden appearance of confidence bothered Samyrah, but she had won. She was almost sickeningly pleased with the outcome of the deal. Castiel lost something and Earth would have another warrior back. She found it funny that Castiel never questioned why she offered this deal. He never thought to ask why he had to give Dean's memories to save Sam. Really, it was just because Samyrah wanted to toy with him.
But Yaazaniah didn't care. He would follow Sam's orders, along with hundreds of other angels, and pull Dean's brother from Hell. That was all he cared about.
"It's done, the deal is made. Do as you will." With those parting words Castiel flew away. He flew far away. So far he could hardly tell where he had ended up. That night became the next day, and all the angel did was stand and stare as the sun rose. He continued to stare as Lisa got out of bed to start brewing the coffee. He watched as Lisa made breakfast for Ben. He watched as Ben thumped his way downstairs, muttering about how annoying the sound of his alarm is. He watched as Lisa told him to chew with his mouth closed.
And then he watched Dean sit up, legs over the side of the bed he'd just slept in. Dean grumbled and rubbed his face. He felt as if something was suddenly missing from his mind. Something important that was no longer there. He refused to dwell on the thought, however. He decided, whatever that thing was, it would probably get in the way of his normal life with Lisa. The one he promised Sam he would live.
Dean was right. Had he remembered Castiel, he would always know that there was something better, truer, waiting out there for him.
